PATERSON (NJ)
The Record [Woodland Park NJ]
January 16, 2025
By Lori Comstock
A former altar boy of a Roman Catholic church in Passaic is seeking $50 million in a blistering lawsuit against a former friar and the church he served, claiming he was sexually abused and molested more than three decades ago.
The man, who is not named in the complaint, alleges abuse over 100 times between 1989 and 2003 by Friar Paul Daleo, who served as priest at the Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church in Passaic. The abuse purportedly started when the boy was 14 and a freshman at Lodi High School, and concluded when he was 17, when Daleo left the ministry, according to the suit, filed Tuesday in state Superior Court in Passaic County.
“Fr. Paul Daleo engaged in a calculated series of manipulation and grooming” of the teen for several years while the boy served as parishioner, altar boy and member of the youth ministry, the suit claims.
The complaint alleges negligence by the Passaic church, which is served by the Capuchin Franciscan Friars of the Province of the Sacred Stigmata of Saint Francis, a New Jersey-based religious order of preachers. The Capuchin Franciscans are named in the lawsuit, as is the Roman Catholic Diocese of Paterson, an organization serving about 430,000 Catholics in Passaic, Morris and Sussex counties, and individuals who were involved in the hiring, assigning and supervising of the priests. Those people have yet to be identified, the suit states.
“The sexual abuse set forth and its consequential trauma and harm, in turn, caused plaintiff to suppress and/or emotionally dissociate his feelings about his traumatic experience(s), thereby exacerbating its devastating psychological, physical, and social consequences,” the man states in the lawsuit. He said the trauma has caused him mental health issues including post-traumatic stress disorder and disrupted his enjoyment in life and in his relationships with friends and family. He has felt humiliation, embarrassment and shame, and has sought professional counseling and treatment, the suit states.
Jai Agnish, director of communications for the Diocese of Paterson, declined to comment on pending litigation. He noted that Daleo was not a diocesan priest and was a Capuchin. Several requests for comment from contacts within the Capuchin Franciscans of the Stigmata Province were not returned by deadline.
Claims: Daleo kissed boys on lips, bit his neck
The man, who now resides in Ocean County, regarded Daleo as a “God-like figure” when the priest presided over a mass service and blessing of the Lodi High school varsity football team in the fall of 1989. The team, of which the teen was a part of, won their game and gave the priest a T-shirt commemorating their victory.
Daleo told the then-14-year-old freshman that he was born with a stutter, but when he conducted mass, his stutter would disappear because “God speaks through me,” the suit states. Shortly after, the boy convinced his family to join the church, and he took classes taught by Daleo.
“The teen’s youth, religious beliefs, and religious upbringing, together with the power imbalance and authoritative inequity between the plaintiff and defendants, created a culture and social dynamic that weakened plaintiff’s ability to resist Fr. Daleo and/or other defendants,” the suit states. It was “especially true” because the teen has placed the priest, the church and his religion on a pedestal of superiority, according to the claims.
The man said Daleo would greet him by kissing him on the mouth, a behavior he found strange, but he had believed was customary since Daleo allegedly did it with the other boys, the suit states.
Over several years as the boy grew taller and older, Daleo would hug the teen tightly and allegedly would press his crotch against the boy, the suit states. During an incident shortly after he was confirmed by the Catholic church, the teen said Daleo allegedly “grinded” up against him and kissed and bit his neck. The teen pushed Daleo away, causing Daleo to allegedly respond in a joking manner, “You’re too cute,” the suit states.
Throughout the summers of 1990, 1991 and 1992, the man said Daleo regularly hugged him, kissed him at length, bit his neck and continued to grind his genitals against him, according to the complaint. Daleo’s physical touching purportedly extended to the other boys through games, such as wrestling and tickling.
The man said he was a junior in high school in the spring of 1993 when Daleo suddenly told him he was being transferred to a clerical position in Jersey City and suddenly disappeared.
The man believes he was likely abused in additional ways and on additional occasions, but “emotionally suppressed” the episodes of abuse, according to the suit.
Religious order acknowledged ‘credible allegations’ against Daleo
Daleo, who was ordained in 1977, had several assignments as a member of the Capuchin Franciscans religious order, including as a friar at a private Catholic school in Wilmington, Delaware, in the late 1970s and early 1980s, where several lawsuits were filed and later settled for millions, according to several media reports and attorneys.
In 2006, Most Rev. Michael Saltarelli, the late bishop of the Diocese of Wilmington, Delaware, broke with previous policy and released the names of 20 diocesan priests against whom there were substantiated allegations of sexual abuse of minors. His list did not include religious-order priests, of which Capuchins are.
Shortly after, the Capuchins confirmed two confidential settlements and substantiated allegations against Daleo, according to a 2009 article from The News Journal.
In 2021, the Capuchin Franciscans of the Stigmata Province named seven friars with credible allegations of sexual abuse against them to in an effort for greater transparency and to encourage others to come forward. Daleo was named as a former member.
Daleo left the ministry in 2003 after deciding to not live under the restrictions imposed by the Capuchin order, officials told The News Journal in 2006. Religious-order priests take vows for life, meaning if they are removed from ministry, they live in facilities supervised by their religious communities. Daleo is currently living in Jersey City, according to the lawsuit.
Efforts to reach Daleo were unsuccessful. Two phone numbers associated with him in public records were disconnected.
In 2018, the Capuchin friars left the Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church in Passaic after 96 years. The church welcomed its first diocesan priest on June 29, 2018.
Email: lcomstock@njherald.com; Twitter: @LoriComstockNJH or on Facebook.