UNITED STATES
Times of Israel
Michael J. Salamon
Why don’t people report abuse?’ is one of the most common questions asked. “If they were really abused wouldn’t they want to tell someone?’ Well yes and no. We know that most people, perhaps the overwhelming majority of those abused do not report what happened to them for three basic reasons. They are afraid to say anything because their abuser has threatened them or their families as part of the grooming they were subjected to. Often, people do not report abuse because they are sure that they will not be believed. And, individuals who have been abused see that when members of their own community have reported abuse they were shunned by the community, even sent packing, having to move away from a beloved home. Overriding all of this is the tendency among many to blame the victims of abuse despite the fact that they were forcibly coerced or were very young or were in some other way unable to protect themselves.
None of this is new information. Anyone working with individuals who have suffered from abuse have seen these dynamics. There is, however, another motivation that keeps people from reporting. It is not simply fear of disbelief, abandonment or being hurt. It is even beyond the antipathy of indifference or the desire not to get involved. It is a sanctimonious belief that not reporting a crime is the best, most protective way to shelter a community. Let me give you a personal example. My experience is not nearly so life altering as abuse – in fact it is, at best, an annoying but simple event rectified rapidly by insurance and the assistance of some friends. Still it suggests a mindset that underlies the environment that allows evil doers to get away with their offenses.
A few short weeks ago I parked my car in a legal spot in the parking lot of a supermarket. I ran in for a few items and was done in less than five minutes. I came out to find that my car had been hit and the front fender and bumper were hanging down. The car that was on the side where the damage was was rapidly leaving the lot. I jumped in my car to see if I could catch the person or at least get the license plate number. I was unable to so I returned to the lot and called the police. While waiting for the police to arrive I notified the store manager and asked if the videos of the lot were working. The manager said they were and were monitored at a sister store a few short blocks away. The manager called the other location to confirm that the video was in fact operating and as the police arrived told them who they can speak with at the monitoring site.
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