CALIFORNIA
Santa Barbara Independent
by PAUL FERICANO
In 1965 when I was 14 I was sexually abused at St. Anthony’s, a Catholic minor seminary in Santa Barbara operated by the Franciscan religious order. My offender (who died on November 23 at the age of 83) was the school’s prefect of discipline. It’s since been estimated that during his six years of tenure he may have molested more than 250 boys. In 2003, after years of therapy, I chose to forgive him. It was a conscious and willing choice, and a significant change in my way of thinking. I did this without expecting, demanding, or receiving any apology. Even though the evidence against him was overwhelming, he never admitted any crime and insisted he’d done nothing wrong. But I did not allow his denials to prevent me from doing what is necessary to heal.
Deniers of clergy abuse are not limited to those who perpetrated the abuse. They are everywhere. The Franciscan friars currently in charge at Old Mission Santa Barbara (not to be confused with the Parish of St. Barbara) are some of those who still believe they are the victims of this crisis and that survivors are to blame. It’s a deep, dark hole that they’ve dug into the mythology of their lives. Their behavior and actions over the last six years have served to rewound survivors and poison the community. For this reason, I have publicly called for the removal of these friars from any positions of power. I’ve undertaken this without malice, but rather with compassion for those who have been hurt and for those who have done the hurting.
We all dig our holes, some deeper than others. The holes in my life have led me to some encouraging encounters with the church, particularly through my work with SafeNet, a survivor nonprofit I cofounded in 2003 that focuses on the healing process. Though I’m no longer Catholic and have no desire to return to Catholicism, I’ve found good reasons to explore these issues with bishops and cardinals who’ve shown an eagerness to explore them with me. These perceptible shifts in the church indicate a willingness by some to tackle complex questions of peace, reconciliation, and restorative justice.
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