November 28, 2005

Column: The Prada Papacy

Daily Illini

By Eric Naing
Published: Monday, November 28, 2005

A Vatican decree, to be issued on Nov. 29, aims to rid the Catholic Church of priests who have "deeply rooted homosexual tendencies" or "support so-called gay culture." If so, then why is the new pope running around in Gucci sunglasses, red Prada loafers and shiny sequin vestments?

The Catholic Church has been plagued by scandal and charges of corruption. Here I was thinking that the problem was pedophilia and a corrupt Catholic leadership that did nothing to stop it, but I guess I was mistaken. At least according to the Vatican, the real problem all along was with those dastardly homosexuals.

According to the decree, which was leaked to the press last week, men who display so-called homosexual tendencies or even support homosexuality would not be allowed into seminaries. Those with "transitory" homosexual tendencies must remain celibate for three years until they are allowed to become deacons.

Many critics have noted that it will be exceedingly difficult to actually enforce such a decree. The Rev. Eugene Lauer of theAbuse Tracker Pastoral Life Center told the News & Observer: "I have no idea how they will apply it. It will be just a nightmare."

And there very well may be Church leaders and Vatican officials who themselves are homosexuals. Considering the loose definition of "homosexual tendencies," anyone could he accused of being gay. As the Rev. Donald Cozzens of John Carroll University warns, "the hunters may turn out to be the hunted."

Take, for example, Pope Benedict XVI. Judging by his fashion sense, he seems to have fully embraced the concepts of high fashion and true fabulousness. Shunning the tailors who have dressed popes for more than 200 years, this chic Catholic has turned to a much younger fashion house, which, according to Newsweek, "has provided the pope with dazzling new vestments (some with shimmering, sequinlike details)."

This fashionista father has also been seen sporting a pair of Gucci sunglasses and bright red Prada loafers while cruising around in his Popemobile. Seriously, who does the Pope think he is in those red shoes and sequins robes, Judy Garland? Liberace?

Posted by kshaw at November 28, 2005 01:18 PM