May 15, 2005

Unrepent Criminal Gets Sainthood?


By Lloyd Hart

The Crime

When I was 7 years old I was anally raped in the men's bathroom of the Capitol Theater in Winnipeg, Manitoba by a Catholic priest. I was lured into this situation with the promise money. I came from the home of a hard-working single mom struggling to raise four children on her own and where of course we did not have a great deal money. So the promise of money was very attractive to my seven year old imagination. Little did I know what the cost to my life over the next several decades would come too.

This violent and premature sexual awakening would take its toll on every aspect of my life, family and friends thereafter which included a brief but soul wrenching eight month engagement in prostitution.

My relations with girls and then women were either shallow or guarded or completely obsessive. Being the youngest of four and being four years younger than the next oldest I didn't have a whole lot of play contact with my older siblings so I found myself obsessing sexually on my own. With no way to express these feelings it seemed that I turned to stealing money from my mother. I suppose as an unconscious act to send a signal that there was something terribly wrong. I stole my mother's entire formidable coin collection and seemingly endless amounts of cash from her purse. In the 1960's there were no avenues of discussion or investigation of the symptoms of sexual abuse and therefore those children including myself did not have anywhere to go except for aberrant behavior.

Part of that aberrant behavior was to shut out the influence of authority figures all around me and especially at school. Even though being very bright I barely made it through elementary school and did eventually drop out of school entirely. The emotional state of mind of one not having a father around and two dealing with the emotional nightmare of sexual abuse I simply could not cope in the day to day of it all.

Posted by kshaw at May 15, 2005 05:12 PM