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I Was Molested By A Priest
By Anonymous
The Experience Project
December 10, 2013
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Was-Molested-By-A-Priest/3746493
In the 70’s when I was 13 years old, I was molested by Father Joseph Theisen of St. Gregory parish. I was short, but very muscular at the time. During the summer after 8th grade, a few of my friends and I would go to the rectory and he would teach us about wrestling. Not WWF, but Greco-Roman wrestling. And I was good at it. We would wrestle and then hang around and talk to him afterward until it was dark. We all lived within walking distance.
One day, I was the only one that showed up, so instead of wrestling, we went to his office to just talk. In retrospect, I now know no one else was ever supposed to show up. We talked about the things I liked: photography, wrestling and so on. At one point he said he wanted to show me a way to concentrate and focus to make me an even better wrestler. I lay on my back on the floor and he told me to close my eyes and hold my hands up and concentrate. He sort of lay on top of me, slowly putting more weight on me. I was able to hold him up, and he was a large man, until I could no longer hold him. Then, for a moment or two, he was actually laying on me, telling me how impressed he was that I could hold him up.
He then lay next to me and put his hand on my thigh, telling me again to concentrate. He told me that sometimes, I would be touched there while wrestling, but not to let it distract me. I knew this to be true from the wrestling I had been doing. But I did not expect what he did next. He cupped my balls and gently squeezed them. My eyes popped open and he asked me what I would do if I were wrestling and someone’s arm fell between my legs and said concentrate. I did, but I had not processed what was going on and felt very uncomfortable. After a few minutes I got up and just said I have to go. He mentioned something about this being our secret training. I left. I never went back. I did not have the relationship with my parents that I could tell them. I never told anyone until I was in my 20’s. I had no idea. I tried to tell my mother. My parents still don’t know.
My wife does not believe me about this. She still thinks I made it up for attention. It was only groping, but I was only 13. Then, in 1994, I found out the archdiocese of NY reached settlements with three Rockland County men who were abused during the early 1980s by Joseph Theisen, who was defrocked. Each man received $20,000 and promised not to talk publicly about what happened to them. I was not one of them.
Parents, talk to your children. Let them know they can come to you for anything. Let them know there are some bad people out there, but don’t scare them to death. Be open about sex and sexuality. I have a much better relationship with my kids than my parents, in part because I never want them to not have someone to turn to if something like this happens.
UPDATE 12/17/2013: God damn it. I was speaking with a friend I grew up with yesterday. He told me that one of the boys we both knew who had been molested by this **** bag had committed suicide because he could not deal with it. I am a skeptic. I just finished researching public records. Yes, he commited suicide in 2007. Here's to you John.
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I was also abused by Theisen! I don't know if you knew, but he died in Jan. 2013, obit here: http://french.mem.com/Obituary/5398159/62679147/62693206?title=Obituary
Sorry if it might trigger any memories, but I fully understand what you are going through with your wife. My whole family is just apathetic about it, which only continues to feed into the pain. I would like very much to get in touch with you and talk more about this, if you want.
Having your spouse not believe you must add insult to injury. So sorry this happened to you. You are courageous to share your story. I often pray for the protection of my children's innocence and their safety. Thank you for the wise advice to have an open door policy with our kids. It's unfortunate that we have to warn them of these dangers, but knowledge is power. Stay strong!
So brave of you to post this.
I can't believe your wife doesn't believe you. Good to hear you did better for your kids. Sad about John. Even worse it keeps getting swept under the rug by people who should be protecting children.
AS I said before priest minsters teachers doctors nurses nobody is above reproach and parents pay close attention to your children and listen to them and at the doctors it may embarrassing for but please stay in the exam room with them
I believe it priest and minsters no better then any one else parents must teach their children if this happens to tell them right away and parents must listen