In the Spotlight

By Jacqueline Perry Guzman
Guam Synday Post
June 19, 2016

http://www.postguam.com/forum/featured_columnists/in-the-spotlight/article_838cc348-33af-11e6-955b-17076a1ccedf.html

If you have ever been a victim of sexual abuse you would understand the confusion, hurt, humiliation, shame, disgust and immeasurable other emotions and feelings you cannot explain. There is a part of you that wonders if you somehow asked for this or if you deserve it in some way. This is the reason I can understand victims not coming forward for decades, especially when their abusers are a part of the church— a place where they are taught to follow directions of the leaders because they are stewards of god himself.

Imagine the confusion of being hurt by someone your mother and father told you to listen to and respect regardless of the way they treat you behind closed doors.

After the 2016 Academy Awards announced its winner for Best Picture I was convinced I had to see “Spotlight” as soon as possible. The trailer was an already easy marker for me to know it was an incredible film but winning the Academy’s top bill made it a no-brainer.

The preface of hidden secret sex abuse in the church hit a gut-wrenching place in me. It was all too familiar in a dark, secret cloudy memory where in the schoolyard boys and girls would tease little boys for being touched on their privates by priests. Although none of it ever came about or to the attention of grown-ups, all the kids knew these things sometimes happened and the men of the cloth who we were taught to respect and listen to were doing all the time. To the point of schoolyard bullying? Twice the victimization?

It never came as a shock to me that men who live their lives devoid of a spouse or partner would sometimes be sexual deviants and perverts who resorted to such filthy behavior. It seemed like something I just always “knew.” At a very young age I remember looking at priests, brothers and bishops wondering what degree of pedophilia I considered them capable of. Usually against young boys.

My high school boyfriend and I were on the phone one evening before I excused myself for dinner. I explained we had company that night and it was a priest who my parents were very fond of. He casually asked who it was and I told him. He said, “Oh my god. I can’t believe it. OK, call me back later.”

After dinner I called him back and asked him why he reacted that way. He explained that when he was an alter server he was molested by that priest. He gave me a deep and in detailed description of the incident and it was almost too much to take. I asked him if I could tell my mom and he said he guessed so.

When I told my mom, she reacted painfully but she believed me right away. Soon that priest was gone from the island and never to be heard from again. That high school boyfriend thanked me for what I did.

“Spotlight” recounted similar experiences from so many victims depicted in the movie. The cover-ups and the silencers who had money seemed so unbelievable but I now know the church has a great deal of power—directly coming from its supporters.

The idea of the church can be impressive if it weren’t so corrupt and filled with perversion and pedophiles.

Without trying to give away too much of the film, I want to point out that there was a great deal of victim profiling among the sexual deviants portrayed in the movie. They preyed on the more sensitive and troubled types of kids—even ones they thought were struggling with homosexuality. Seems like common sense, doesn’t it? Also it makes me very angry.

The film, which in a way glamorized the life of a stressed out, burning at both ends, missing the mark by five seconds, road-block hitting reporter is easily my newest favorite.

To work in a newsroom like the “Spotlight” newsroom which focused on deep cover, in-depth investigative reporting is any reporter working the beat’s dream. Give me two weeks instead of two hours to cover something and we are going to have a story!

To all the victims who have come forward, your bravery and continued strength are examples to us all. We stand by you and share your desires for your abusers to be brought to justice.

To all the victims by members of a clergy and who are trying to cope, we have the greatest sympathy for you. Please come forward and bring your abusers to justice. You have more supporters than your attacker. Believe it.

Cheers!