Fr Kevin Dillon: Geelong’s Loud Fence Ribbons Come Down, but Victims’ Suffering Is Far from over

By Kevin Dillon
Geelong Advertiser
May 20, 2016

http://www.geelongadvertiser.com.au/news/opinion/fr-kevin-dillon-geelongs-loud-fence-ribbons-come-down-but-victims-suffering-is-far-from-over/news-story/522cfbc3a2515582e1c7cd9194927748

Thousands of ribbons tied to St Mary's Basilica's “loud fence” in recognition of abuse victims will be removed on Sunday.. Picture: Mike Dugdale

THE fence surrounding St Mary’s Basilica in Yarra St will look less colourful by Monday morning.

Since January, the almost 300 metres of “Loud Fence” surrounding one of Geelong’s most iconic buildings have been bedecked with innumerable multicoloured ribbons. They have all been tied by individuals wishing to recognise the suffering of the far-too-many victims/survivors of church-related sexual abuse.

During a public ceremony at 3pm this Sunday, the ribbons will be removed then taken into the Basilica where they are to be placed near the altar as a sign of “repentance, reparation and respect” for those who have suffered so much and for so long.

Just this week, I received an email from Brian, whose son Adam was abused at just seven years of age by a notorious priest offender who was eventually imprisoned for multiple assaults on many children.

Adam was irrevocably damaged by the assaults, which occurred 30 years ago. He has never had regular employment. He has had girlfriends but the relationships never last long. He still relies on his parents as his chief means of personal support.

Brian hopes to attend Sunday’s ceremony. But Adam won’t be there. He’s not well enough. And even if he was, going into a church — even for “repentance, reparation, and respect” — is not an option.

“I believe a public response is sorely needed,” wrote Brian, who then went on to tell me how Adam had attempted suicide twice in recent months.

While the tragic saga has been in the news for many years (and will probably be for some time yet), it is still likely that the enormous and widespread impact of these offences has not yet been fully understood.

Without doubt, the impact of these crimes on the victims themselves must always be the prime focus of any ceremony such as Sunday’s. However, there are countless others whose lives have been shockingly affected by the widespread fallout from the horrific saga:

THE parents and siblings of children who went “off the rails” after being abused. How are they managing?

They may have known nothing of what happened, or, worse still in some cases, were told but could not or would not believe what they heard;

MANY victims have become parents themselves. The post-traumatic stress common to many abuse victims has often impacted severely on their capacity to be the parents they would otherwise have been.

So what of their children? Who is helping them?

HOW about those who, in some official capacity, have had to negotiate a trail of ugliness as the stories have formally unfolded? The police, members of the current royal commission and of other investigations (such as the 2012/13 Victorian parliamentary inquiry)? What is the effect on them of this saturation bombing of human ugliness?

THEN there are the families of the perpetrators. Revelations of offences have often split families previously united in their love for each other.

Some wish to cast the offender from the family forever. Others, while shocked beyond measure that one of their own could do such things, still cannot bring themselves to banish that person from family membership; and

THERE are those who may not have been harmed personally, but have entrusted peak moments of their lives to someone proved later to be an offender — the priest who celebrated their wedding, or their child’s baptism, or their mother’s funeral, or heard their confession.

Or they simply admired him as a “man of God”, but now struggle to find God anywhere in their lives.

Hopefully, with the ribbons being untied, the recognition the ribbons have given will help undo the bonds choking so many who have suffered from this awful scourge.

Recognition of and respect for the victims themselves will, of course, be first and foremost. But most importantly, the suffering of so many others who have been damaged in different but related ways will also be effectively acknowledged.

— Father Kevin Dillon is parish priest of St Mary’s, Geelong.