A Survivor’s Poem

By Victoria Cubberley
Catholics4Change
April 14, 2016

https://catholics4change.com/2016/04/12/a-survivors-poem/

So enormously disappointed in human kind. Their choice to deny: live in fear, abandon the most innocent whose childlike eyes seek our refuge. In their helplessness, you chose to look away, turn your back on such screaming pain. A thousand years and still you chose to hurt. This history forever embraced, accepted, fear. Is there no one to stand tall with me free of attachments or agendas? Is there one, single, voice that can listen to my cries, my soft child cries? As I keep reaching, will I ever be touched by love? Must I keep standing here-alone, feeling only my own bravery? In this stillness of my loneliness. I am so angry at your cowardice, the ultimate betrayal in your distortion of my God-my God how you tried to take my very breath. There exists no greater sorrow-my life source, my existence, my harboring soul, than to use what held me together-My God!

I chose to stand tall.

I chose to not allow you, priest, to slowly and deliberately decimate me, God’s child.

I chose to embrace my rage at all of you.

I chose silence.

How could you not see, how could you not hear all the many cries of us, your children?

WHERE IS YOUR RAGE?

You chose, in your silence, to partner with evil.

I stood alone. Only God can touch my depth of pain. Love was all I craved on this lonely path. I simply need to be seen!

My deserved rage, hides my deep hurt. Words are futile. They carry no meaning, they just exist. Betrayal speaks in the pained dwelling of my silent scream.