Stetson Graduate Prepares Churches to Protect Children

Stetson University Today
October 14, 2015

http://www.stetson.edu/today/2015/10/stetson-graduate-prepares-churches-to-protect-children/

No one wanted to think about it.

Tasked with the job of prosecuting perpetrators of the unthinkable, Basyle “Boz” Tchividjian BA ’90 watched his peers do what they could to avoid handling cases of child sexual abuse.

But as a young assistant state attorney handling a variety of criminal cases, Tchividjian couldn’t ignore the horror of those that violated children. When he volunteered to aggressively prosecute all of the 7th Judicial Circuit’s child sex abuse cases, the state attorney approved and established a sex-crimes unit that handled hundreds of cases, a third of them involving children.

It was the start of a lifelong passion for fighting child sexual abuse.

“As I was prosecuting, you really see the cases up close,” says Tchividjian. “You see the victims, the families, the devastation, but you also deal with the offenders. You see common characteristics and behaviors, and get a comprehensive picture of this offense.”

The issue remained heavy on his heart as he went into private practice in 2001. “What do I do with all of this information that I learned in the trenches?” Tchividjian asked himself.

It wasn’t until a Wisconsin newspaper reporter called his law office that his calling became clear.

According to the reporter, five years earlier a Milwaukee father had reported to his church pastor that his young daughter was sexually abused by another congregation member. The pastor invited the father to meet with the offender, who cried, asked for forgiveness, and confessed gratefulness that he had been caught. Convinced of his repentance, the pastor asked the father to forgive the offender and not report the matter to police. The father agreed.

By the time the journalist contacted Tchividjian, the offender had since abused at least six more children in the church since the original incident. That was the moment Boz decided to educate Christians on how to protect its youngest members from such abuse.

“Churches are fearful of damaging their reputations, and it’s easier to buy the redemption narrative from offenders, because that’s what Christianity is all about,” explains Tchividjian. “The real narrative is that offenders are the most deceiving people you’ll ever meet, having abused multiple victims before they are caught.”

Facing sexual abuse is difficult for churches to grasp, so Tchividjian founded GRACE — Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment — to educate Christian organizations on how to prevent and respond to child abuse.

A culture of trust and naivete can attract perpetrators to church environments. Moreover, many church leaders choose not to believe the allegations of victims and instead side with the offender, further devastating the survivors of abuse.

“We have to shift the cultures of our churches by highly valuing our children and being vigilant about their protection … always receiving up-to-date training, monitoring for these issues, with children’s safety classes for the adults, the parents, and also the kids,” advocates Tchividjian.

GRACE (www.netgrace.org) provides faith-based organizations with child-safe policies, procedures and training that go beyond insurance industry requirements, as well as response protocols and independent investigations when abuse allegations arise. GRACE is also developing church certification processes and a seminary course curriculum to better prepare churches and leadership for protecting their youngest members.

Tchividjian has become a leading national voice addressing child sexual abuse in churches, particularly across the Protestant community. He writes a regular column for the Religion News Service about abuse issues, and his work and commentary on the topic have been featured in secular and religious news media.

“Stetson gave me a unique opportunity to encounter and become friends with people who hold different views than I do. Instead of being fearful or avoiding that, it contributed to my growth as a person, even to this day,” said Tchividjian.

“I encountered people with different worldviews who taught me more than I taught them, and that gave me real strength as a Stetson student. We were encouraged to question things. … If my faith is my foundation, I should be at peace and comfortable with asking tough questions, because that’s how I’m going to grow. You don’t grow if you’re not challenged, whether in the classroom or the fraternity house.”

Tchividjian credits his grandfather, “America’s pastor” Billy Graham, as a profound influence who valued people most others overlooked.

“’Daddy Bill’ is one of the most earnestly, authentically humble people I’ve ever met in my life — he’s the real deal,” describes Tchividjian. “He would enjoy speaking to the waitress at the Morrison’s cafeteria as much as a conversation with a famous actor or politician, as they are all made in the image of God.”

Boz’s work is inspired by the example of his grandfather and the Good Samaritan, and he considers abuse victims the “great heroes” of his life.

“Religious people walked by the injured Jew, but the Samaritan helped. That’s the work we’re called to do with GRACE, to support these amazing heroes we find at the side of the road and carry them to safety. That’s what I observed in Daddy Bill’s life, and it has had a profound impact on my own life.”