April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

NJ.com
March 02, 2015

http://www.nj.com/warrenreporter/index.ssf/2015/03/april_is_child_abuse_preventio.html

Talking with children about personal safety and prevention of abuse is not always easy, but it is absolutely necessary.

Professionals in the field of Child Abuse Prevention agree that children, who have discussed with adults what they could do in potentially dangerous situations, are safer than children who have never been given any prevention strategies.

"For most parents and many teachers, talking with a child about potentially abusive situations is a difficult proposition," said Carole Ciurczak, coordinator of the Warren County Child Assault Prevention project at Catholic Charities, Diocese of Metuchen.

"Unfortunately, the increased violence in schools, on the internet, and in society in general also increases the need for children to learn how to deal with a variety of situations about which a generation prior may not have had to worry. The good news is that there are ways to talk to children that will not increase their fear but actually will help them feel safer and more confident. CAP's motto is, "All children deserve to be safe, strong and free" and parents can teach this to their children."

April is "National Child Abuse Prevention Month" and it is a perfect time for parents to talk to children on how to handle such dangerous situations. The CAP project, a 30-year-old program, is a local resource teaching parents and communities about the prevention of child abuse and neglect. It offers parents a few suggestions as they approach this important topic:

Don't use scare tactics: Often we are tempted to point to the recent abduction or abuse story on the news and base our warnings to our children on them. This does not give a child any strategies should they find themselves in a dangerous situation. Additionally, it heightens their fears and reduces their confidence. In discussing abuse, words should be chosen for their "low fear quotient," while concentrating on safety. For example, talking about "how to stay safe" is much less frightening than talking about "stranger danger." Using words like "safe and unsafe touches" instead of sexual abuse and molestation is more comfortable and encompasses a wider range of inappropriate behavior.

Teach about rights and boundaries: Children need to know that they possess inalienable rights, especially when it comes to their bodies. Although adults should be respected, they should not be given carte blanche to touch children in any way that makes a child feel uncomfortable. This does not mean every unwanted touch is necessarily abusive. It may be an innocent pinch on the cheek by a well meaning relative. Regardless, if it is not wanted by the child, than the child needs to know that he or she has the right to say "no" and to ask the adult to stop.

This promotes healthy self respect within children and helps them to be able to stop inappropriate advances of their body boundaries as a child or even as a teen in a dating situation. Conversely, children need to be taught to respect the rights and boundaries of others by not hitting, bullying or touching peers or adults in ways which take their rights away.

Let them know that they don't have to keep "unsafe" secrets: Surprise parties, and celebration gifts are "safe secrets" -- they don't make a child feel afraid. These secrets can be kept. Secrets or even discussions that make a child or teen feel scared, confused or ashamed need to be shared.

Be a "trusted adult" for children: If children know that they can talk to you about anything, they are less likely to keep secrets from you that may hurt them. Being a "trusted adult" takes time and listening is an important component to ensuring your child's trust. Review with your child who else besides yourself he/she might be able to go to if you were not available to help him/her. Ask him/her who he/she would feel comfortable to talk to in school, on the soccer field or dance class, etc. The more trusted adults children have, the safer they feel in their community.

Be an example of an adult that respects the right of others: Model a respect for the rights of others in your daily living, including the rights of children to be "safe, strong and free".

For more information on preventing child abuse and bullying visit www.njcap.org

Catholic Charities, Diocese of Metuchen, is a nonprofit, social services agency dedicated to service, quality and outreach for members of the community who are poor, devalued or in need of help. The agency, including 29 sites and more than 120 programs, is committed to providing quality service to all those in need without regard for race, religion or ethnicity. Catholic Charities, Diocese of Metuchen works to inspire those who seek help and strives to empower those who were once helpless to succeed.

For more information about Catholic Charities, Diocese of Metuchen, visit