D4men Seen As Incubator for Ideas

By Randy Richmond
London Free Press
October 11, 2014

http://www.lfpress.com/2014/10/10/d4men-seen-as-incubator-for-ideas

John Swales

For years, John Swales battled social service agencies over how they treat men.

Next week, he’ll realize a long-held dream, built with the help of those agencies: A place for men.

“Something along the way had to shift. I decided to do my part and shift a bit,” said Swales, an outspoken sexual abuse survivor.

D4Men — Destination for Men — launches Thursday at the Goodwill Centre conference room.

Swales sees D4Men as a place for men to discuss issues, listen to each other and perhaps connect with agencies or informal help.

It’s not a place only for people struggling with problems, but for any man who wants to help change the way men seek help, he says.

“Men have struggled a bit. We have not evolved as well as women. We meet in bars. We meet in pool halls. We meet at sporting events, but we haven’t developed a community. There is a real need for men to connect.”

Thursday’s meeting is a chance for organizers to explain where they’re going and invite discussion from others.

“One of the challenges is to define more clearly what might happen,” Swales said. “I see it as a bit of an incubator.”

Eventually, Swales would like to create a drop-in centre for men, similar to My Sisters’ Place for women.

Swales and his brothers were sexually abused by Roman Catholic priest Barry Glendinning in the 1970s. That began a long struggle with alcohol and drug abuse that led Swales into prostitution and trouble with the law.

Swales successfully sued the Catholic church, but continued to fight what he saw as ­discrimination against male ­survivors. That battle peaked in 2010, when the province announced $2.2-million for male survivors that prompted competition for the dollars from some of the same agencies that Swales felt ignored his and other survivors’ troubles.

After the tempest eased, leaders of London social agencies and Swales struck a truce that has led to an increasingly friendly collaboration on several projects, including D4Men.