André Samson thought the only way to hide his sexual orientation was to be celibate and enter the priesthood.

But when he was ordained, he quickly discovered that there were many others in the church who shared his secret.

Nearly a year ago, Samson summoned the courage to come out on the popular TVA show hosted by Denis Lévesque. After the show, he wandered over to a nearby restaurant in a celebratory mood and thought, “I really felt for the first time in my life, I felt free.”

Following his appearance, Samson said he received hundreds of emails from strangers applauding him for his courage, but what stung the most was that not one of them was from a Catholic priest.

Just last year, Samson suffered backlash from his colleagues after attempts to raise the issue of sexual abuse. His attempts led to a confrontation at the large Montreal church where he was serving, he was treated as a pariah and eventually lost his position at the church.

Samson, who remains a priest, said he feels he has a responsibility to speak out: “If not me, who will?”

He added that many priests and bishops continue to hide their sexual orientation because of their dependence and their fear of being rejected by the church, but he wants others to revel in who they really are.

“I know it’s not healthy to live with that kind of fear,” said Samson, who has lived a life of service, teaching counselling as a University of Ottawa professor and serving as a chaplain during the Persian Gulf War.

“I would like to see the Catholic church recognize that many of its priests are gay and many of its bishops are gay — and that’s OK,” he added.

Growing up, Samson said he wrestled with his sexual orientation and being raised in a conservative, Catholic family only heightened his fears of admitting to his parents that he was gay.

Samson said he lived in constant fear after being severely beaten in high school due to his sexual orientation. For years, he convinced himself that the only way to avoid being tormented was to “just keep it to yourself and just try to survive.”

With few options, he thought becoming a priest would be the answer to all of his problems as it would protect him from getting beaten, justify his celibacy and allow him to “regain a sense of dignity.”

Looking back, Samson said he doesn’t regret that his decision to become a priest roughly 30 years ago led to life lived in secrecy, but now that Samson has come out, he knows “it’s good to be me.”