Paul Hersbach kept his composure until the end.
He, like all the 321 victims of child sexual abuse who have lodged claims to the Catholic Church's Melbourne Response, had been forced to tell their stories to strangers before.
The first time he spoke about his abuse in detail, it was to two people at Carelink, the Melbourne Response's counselling arm, to explain why he needed access to its services as a primary victim, not a secondary victim. He found this confronting and "exceptionally traumatic".
"I feel I told them more than I needed to and far more than I believe was reasonably required for them to do their job."
Mr Hersbach explained how the man he once called "gramps" had sexually abused his father, uncle, brother and himself when he was a child.
Victor Rubeo, who died on the day he was to appear in court for a committal hearing over charges of sexual abuse, "inserted" himself between father and son over 16 years.
"This despicable act was far worse than any physical abuse could ever have been," he said.
Mr Hersbach recounted his meeting with the Melbourne Response's Independent Commissioner, Peter O'Callaghan, QC, which "left no room ... for compassion, debate or for me, the victim." Mr O'Callaghan had instead discouraged him from reporting the abuse to police because he did not think, given the "haziness of your memory", they would act.
While the compensation panel members who determined how much he was to receive were more sympathetic to his plight, the process – this week the focus of the royal commission – was marred by fear and confusion.
At its conclusion, Archbishop Denis Hart had signed a letter to Mr Hersbach with "Yours sincerely in Christ" and put a cross next to his name, as Rubeo used to do, in what he described as a generic show of sentiment: "It showed their lack of understanding of how I feel."
He was momentarily relieved when he signed the deed to formally accept the church's offer of compensation. But it now sits in a drawer in his home as a permanent reminder of the day he signed away his right to take civil action against the church in court.
Mr Hersbach does not plan to sue the church, but wants it to release all victims from their deeds. All victims' claims should be reviewed independently and re-assessed without the $75,000 cap the church currently imposes. The church's response to victims should be overhauled, using the royal commission as a blueprint.
"I do not need or want a personal apology. I do not want the church burnt down," His voice faltered only now: "All I want is for someone from the Catholic Church to show compassion and give me a call one day and say 'Hi Paul how are you going these days? Can I do anything to help?'"
Most of the court's public gallery, filled with fellow victims, victims' advocates and church representatives, applauded him as he left the stand.