Billboard delivers message to victims

By Len Gillis
Timmins Press
June 24, 2014

http://www.timminspress.com/2014/06/24/billboard-delivers-message-to-victims

Ray Lariviere, left, and Ray Auclair are both survivors of teenage sexual abuse. The two Timmins men are on a mission to raise awareness about the problem of men and boys who suffered sexual abuse during their adolescent years. A new sign on Riverside Drive encourages victims to Break The Silence, to expose the abuse and the abusers.

TIMMINS - The new billboard sign that went up in Timmins Tuesday is believed to be the only one of its kind in Ontario. But the fellows who put the sign up are saying one in six men in Ontario should see it.

That's because the issue of sexual abuse against young males is rampant, they said, and it is something that needs to be exposed and talked about more.

Ray Auclair and Ray Lariviere, both of Timmins, are men who are survivors of sexual abuse from their adolescent years.

Auclair grew up in Timmins. Lariviere grew up in Chelmsford. As young teenagers, even though they were hundreds of miles apart, both were victimized in remarkably similar circumstances by older men; men who gained their trust and confidence and then sexually assaulted them.

One was molested by a businessman, the other by a priest.

The priest went to jail. The businessman committed suicide.

Auclair and Lariviere are now friends who met in a support group. They are also committed to encouraging more men to come forward, to tell their stories of abuse and to expose the abusers. Both men spoke at a special dinner held in Timmins back in February to raise funds for the Timmins billboard project.

Auclair said community support and business support from that dinner was encouraging. He said the new billboard was quickly paid for.

The billboard shows a website; www.1in6.ca as well as a help line phone number. Break The Silence, the sign declares. It is located on the Maslack Supply lot at 1900 Riverside Drive, near Walmart.

The Men's Project /1 in 6 Canada is the not-for-profit organization that has become the central clearing house for support, advice for abuse survivors on a national level.

Auclair said he is no longer ashamed of what happened to him when he was 13 years old, because he knows it was not his fault. He said he hopes the new billboard will encourage more men to step forward and get help.

“The sign is basically something I've been thinking about for a long, long time,” said Auclair.

“It says break the silence. That's the thing. A lot of people have been abused. Whether they had been abused one year ago, five years ago, or like myself, 44 years ago, you keep silent,” he said.

Auclair said he would hide himself for days on drinking binges because he couldn't stand dealing with the memories.

“People suffer in silence. You don't want to say nothing to nobody. So it's time to break the silence,” said Auclair. “I broke the silence in 2010 and I feel so much better.”

Ray Lariviere's story is similar.

“I kept it inside of me for 40 years. Back then people didn't believe you. So what do you do? In most cases people drink, they do drugs, they go into a life of crime, they commit suicide,” Lariviere said.

“I would like to see a drop-in centre here for kids who have suffered sexual abuse, to have a place to go and talk to somebody. I'd love to see that,” said Lariviere.

Auclair agreed with that and said he hopes to be able to create more billboards in other cities in the Northeast.

“I'd like to see a sign in Cochrane, in Iroquois Falls, in Kapuskasing and even in Hearst. Sexual abuse against males is real. It's happening. They say one in six boys is abused before they get to age 16! You can't neglect those numbers,” said Auclair.

Both men said they will be working on fundraising in the future. Whether it's through golf tournaments, hockey tournaments or individual donations from the business community, “Ray and Ray” will be knocking on doors.