BARNEY Williams Jr.: He Lived the Horror of Residential School

By Elaine O'connor
The Province
October 6, 2013

http://www.theprovince.com/news/racism/Barney+Williams+lived+horror+residential+school/8998154/story.html

Twenty-five years ago, Barney Williams Jr. was on a car trip with his wife when he came to a fork in the road. His wife told him to pick any direction he wanted to go. Williams froze, then sobbed behind the wheel.

His fear, born from years in abusive residential schools, was any choice he made would be wrong, and he would be punished for it.

“Everything I did, I was beaten for,” he said. “They told us: ‘You are never going to amount to anything. You’re a savage. You’re stupid.”

Williams was five when he was sent from his home in the Tlaoquiaht First Nation reserve near Tofino to Christie residential school. He was one of at least 150,000 children across Canada who were placed in residential schools.

Students were beaten for speaking their language. For four years, Williams was abused by a priest. At his Kamloops Roman Catholic high school, he was abused by a nun.

“As a child, you always wondered if anyone ever knew what was going on,” Williams said.

But no one offered help, so he fled. After he left, post-traumatic stress set in. Wiliams tried to drink it away, working in logging and fishing. He was once drunk for three months straight. He suffered flashbacks and nightmares. He tried suicide, twice. In 1966, in his late ’20s he found the strength to quit. He’s been sober for 44 years.

Williams went back to school at 33 and got a degree in social work, then trained as a clinical counsellor to help others.

For years he was in therapy. He still has never opened up to his children. His daughter came to his residential school hearing, but he wouldn’t let her in the room.

“I don’t have the strength or courage to tell them what really happened,” Williams explained. “I’m 74-years-old, and I only started talking about my experience.”

Now, through his involvement with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada, Williams has listened to similar stories from across Canada.

“You would close your eyes and whether it was in PEI or Kamloops or Saskatoon, it was almost like someone was telling your story,” said Williams, an elder advisor for B.C. Assembly of First Nations.

Sharing these stories through the Commission is key to the healing process — not only for survivors, but for our nation, he said.

“This is a dark history that needs to be talked about. We need to start talking about First Nations as a people, rather than ‘those guys.’ We want to be accepted as part of Canada, not ‘in addition to.’ The more we talk about it, the better it is going to get.”