"It Finally Feels Good to Make My Family Proud of Me"

Big Trial
June 24, 2013

http://www.bigtrial.net/2013/06/it-finally-feels-good-to-make-my-family.html


Here is the victim impact statement submitted to Judge Ellen Ceisler by Billy Doe, as read in court by Assistant District Attorney Evangelia Manos:

Dear Your Honor,

My name is [Billy Doe]. I'm the victim of these horrendous men. My life and childhood have been destroyed by these men and the things they did to me. I went through something no child or anyone should go through. They have taken from me, and I will never get back, a lot of those things. For the past 14 years, I have tried to numb the pain and forget what they did to me.

Constant depression, anxiety, flashbacks, and reminder of the hell that I was dragged through. I quickly found myself spiraling out of control and getting into trouble, desperately trying to stop the pain. I tried to commit suicide numerous times, and had years of suicidal ideation. I spent years going to sleep, hoping I did not wake up. And in the mornings, I would dread living through another day. By 11, I was smoking marijuana, trying to stop my suffering, but it never seemed to go away.

I fell quickly into a life of addiction, and, as I got older, it got worse. It led me to a life of heroin addiction, jail, and many institutions. I tore my family apart and disappointed them for many years. Only after I got clean and brought this to light, we started to rebuilt our relationship, and it finally feels good to make my family proud of me. Even though I am a victim, I am now a survivor.

I survived what I went through, and exposed these men and this cover-up, and this has been going on for years. I plead, please give these men the maximum sentence for the horrendous acts that they did to me. Let them feel a lifetime of pain, like what they brought upon me. And thank you for your consideration.

Here is the victim impact statement of Billy Doe's older brother, as read in court by Assistant District Attorney Manos:

I'm [Billy Doe's] brother. I am writing to respectfully request that the maximum sentence be imposed upon defendants Engelhardt and Shero. This request comes not only at the revelation of such heinous criminal conduct, but also upon the following background.

Through the criminal conduct of the defendants, my brother has not lost not just a sense of peace and security and innocence as a direct result of the abuse he was subjected to, but also a whole host of indirect and long-lasting effects felt after the initial incidents until today. For his part, my brother may never fully recover. However, the effects of the sexual abuse he suffered that did present themselves, were severe and caused significant collateral damage.

In his attempt to forget and numb himself from the atrocious acts committed by Shero and Engelhardt, my brother turned to narcotics. The use of those substances devastated my family and countless holidays were ruined. I watched patiently as my parents were pushed to their limit, again and again, without reluctance, to try and save their son.

My brother was in contact with law enforcement frequently during this period in his life, and attempted several times to rid himself of these narcotics in rehab facilities, only to fail in each instance. At the time, none of our family knew the underlying cause of his addiction and the root cause of all his suffering that [was] left to fester for so many years.

For nearly five years of these tragic events, I could only listen and offer consolation to my parents while I was away at college. However, I continually saw the toll it was taking on the life of my parents, and my brother. I was told how he was, [and] on several occasions, [he] attempted, threatened to take his life.

He has stolen from my parents on numerous occasions. More importantly, however, is what was stolen from all of them, a relationship with my brother, [Billy]. Due to Shero and Engelhardt's sexual abuse of my brother, my parents had, at best, a tenuous and grief-filled relationship with my brother for nearly eight years. After witnessing the low that my brother had reached, I had no relationship with [Billy] for almost the entire period of his diseased mental and physical state.

Now that he has confronted the demons that haunted him for a decade, I see a brand new individual; some one I never knew before. We have been developing our relationship as brothers. My parents have a much stronger and loving bond with him. He has a fiancee, and [is] working a steady job. None of this would have been possible in the height of his misery. For nearly a decade, my parents did not have a son, and I did not have a brother.

The heinous crimes committed by both of these men against [Billy] were the catalyst to the nightmare that was to follow. And I'm glad to see my brother beginning to flourish as a human being. But as to the defendants' abuse of my brother, he lost such a significant part of his life, and so many opportunities that the average teenager is, in this day and age, expected to experience.

At first, I could not stop blaming myself with being so harsh with him, but now I recognize the true blame rests with these defendants, and I will never be able to forgive the disgusting acts that were committed against my brother. And I ask Your Honor to punish the perpetrators accordingly.