Destroying Lives with Gay Abandon
By Peter Fitzsimons
The Fitz Files Typical Vatican. For decades it has presided over a global system whereby numerous priestly paedophiles are endlessly moved on to continue their devastation in ever more dioceses, rarely calling them to account and even more rarely calling the cops. They even harbour some of the worst, and their enablers, in the Vatican itself! No calls for resignation there, nothing bar actively working to hide their institutional shame for the destruction of so many young lives. But if just one priest may have possibly acted in a sexually harassing manner 30 years ago to other adult priests and - if it might generate some bad headlines for the pope himself - that priest is GONE! So we have seen in Britain this week with Cardinal O'Brien, an outspoken anti-gay-marriage advocate who - and now there's a surprise - is actually gay himself. It's all rather like the growing scandal of gay sex and blackmail within the Vatican itself, which is reported to have hastened the last pope's departure. Just how long do you suppose this nonsense, this outrage, can go on, and have the church survive, too? How obvious is it, through the ages, that when men are denied a natural outlet for their sexual drives - as has happened through the ages in prisons, particularly - it tends to come out anyway, and often with the most vulnerable targets. The bleeding obvious thing for the new pope to do is call celibacy for what it is - the single most damaging policy of the church - and allow the priests to marry. And, who knows, maybe even share power with women, too? You know, as if it is the 21st century? Right and wrong A serious question. You know those rants and diatribes that circulate on the net, telling stories and making claims that particularly target political positions and politicians themselves? You know, the ones that when you put them through snopes.com or the like usually prove to be nonsense that originated in the US, with Australian names put in? Here is my question: why are they always conservative in slant? Check it out. This week, you're likely to receive three or four of them - ''Gay marriage in Canada has been a disaster'', ''Peter Garrett and the dingo problem'' - and I promise you they will be pushing a conservative line. Why is it so, Julius? Little old hoon Somehow, in Sydney Town, we always speak of ''little old ladies'', but never ''little old men''. But they're out there, and going well! On Tuesday, heading north along Harris Street, about to turn right on to the bridge, there he was in nothing less than an FJ Holden in just about mint condition, his head no higher than the top of the steering wheel. No matter that he was two lanes to the left, when he wanted to turn right, he did turn right and everyone was so stunned at his appearance - so this is what happened to the 18-year-old hoon who grandma told us about: he got lost in a time warp - that not a soul beeped their horn. Did anyone else see him? A wonderful fellow, I'm sure. And I'm also sure there can only be one 80-year-old driving an FJ Holden on Sydney streets. The bear niceties Meantime? Meantime, TFF writes to you from on the road to Istanbul. Twenty-eight years ago, when I first came to this extraordinary town, it took me a week's hard driving in a tiny Fiat 127 from just south of Venice, where I was playing rugby for a season, through the Iron Curtain, across Yugoslavia, Bulgaria and into Turkey. I shall never forget waking up on my first morning there, in a dingy tenement somewhere near the red-light district, looking out the window and seeing a man walking a bear - right then, I knew it was my kind of town! Can't wait … Brain teasers Two brain teasers for you on this dull Sunday. 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? 2. What word in the English language is always spelt incorrectly? No cheating, by looking to the answers below! THINK! (And get ready to kick yourself, too). Joke of the week Back in the day, a tough old jackaroo from Longreach, Queensland, counselled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long and fruitful life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his porridge every morning and put a little of it in his damper every night. Hell, you can even put a bit of it in your billy tea! The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. And, sure enough, when he died he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a five-metre hole where the crematorium used to be. Answers 1. Johnny. 2. Incorrectly (except when it is spelt incorrecktly). They said ... I would argue that John Wilkes Booth was the actor who really got into Lincoln's head. [Deathly silence]. Really, 150 years, and it's still too soon to make jokes?
Oscars host, Seth MacFarlane. Yes.
A bumper sticker seen in the back window of a ute in Bathurst last Sunday.
US Secretary of State John Kerry to students in Germany. He was referring to the right to freedom of speech, including saying stupid things.
Artist Ben Quilty, in a very cleverly written piece on Thursday.
New NRL chief executive David Smith at the season launch. He was actually referring to troubled Canterbury star Ben Barba. Smith is new to the job.
Kim Kardashian, after being asked on a recent British photo shoot what she would do if she was a man for a day. The last absolute monarchy in the world ...
Somewhere or other last week I read that description of the papacy, and it works. Everyone else has at least partially grown out of the nonsense of pretending divinity for one person.
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