Sign Down: New Name in the Works for Toth Memorial Park in Easton

By Nancy Doniger
Easton Courier
November 18, 2012

http://www.acorn-online.com/joomla15/eastoncourier/news/localnews/133735-sign-down-new-name-in-the-works-for-toth-memorial-park-in-easton-.html

In an emotional three-hour meeting on Nov. 8 the Parks and Recreation Commission voted unanimously to rename Toth Memorial Park. The decision came after increasing allegations that the park's namesake, the late Stephen "Skipper" Toth, was a child molester.

The wooden sign with the Toth name was removed from outside the park on Nov. 9. It will be replaced once the commission comes up with a new policy for naming parks and a new name.

Ted Alexander, 63, was one person who had mixed emotions about the decision. Mr. Alexander, one of Mr. Toth's alleged victims, had testified in 2004 when a previous Board of Selectmen and parks commission heard private testimony from multiple sources. Mr. Alexander agreed to go public and tell his story to The Courier after resident David Antonez revived the issue in July. Mr. Antonez came across the accusations against Mr. Toth when he was searching for Toth Park on the Internet.

Back in 2004, Michael Powel led the charge to rename the park when he accused Mr. Toth of molesting him on multiple occasions in the 1960s and 1970s. Mr. Powel died of a brain tumor in 2008.

"I did it for Mike," Mr. Alexander said of his going public. "I wish he was here to see it. What was done to him really affected his life, and you only get one life."

More than half a dozen people have made accusations of child molestation against Mr. Toth, and others said they were aware of the tendencies as youths, but the accusations surfaced after Mr. Toth died.

Mr. Toth was a school bus driver, Boy Scout leader, driver education teacher, recreation director, and community philanthropist and was well regarded in the community when he was alive and had many supporters at last week's commission meeting.

Mr. Toth never married or had children and lived alone. The Easton Park and Swimming Area was renamed Toth Memorial Park in Mr. Toth's honor after he died in 1985.

Although the previous Board of Selectmen and Parks and Recreation Commission decided in a closed-door meeting against renaming the park, they left the door open to reconsider the situation should new information emerge.

Cheryl Everett, who was on the Parks and Recreation Commission in 2004, said the selectmen heard the testimony, but the commission did not. The commission received a transcript with the names redacted and had to make its decision based on that.

Former First Selectman Bill Kupinse, who led the 2004 council, said "There was not enough evidence to convince us at the time to change the name. We went on what was presented. Back then it was pretty thin."

But they left the door open to revisit the matter should the situation warrant it. Mr. Kupinse said he had not seen the new evidence the current Parks and Recreation Commission received that prompted it to change the name and therefore could not comment on it.

Mr. Alexander, a former Easton resident who now lives in northern Vermont, wasn't able to attend the special meeting at Helen Keller Middle School in person, so longtime Easton resident Dolly Curtis read aloud a letter he wrote.

He said he had loved Mr. Toth, his scoutmaster and bus driver, "almost as much as my grandfather. In my eyes he could do no wrong even though he was doing wrong.

"It took years for me to admit it to myself and sometimes it is still hard to face the truth about what he did to me. How many times it happened, I can't say, but it was many," he wrote.

Now a father and grandfather, Mr. Alexander submitted six character references, including one from his parish priest, since he hasn't lived in Easton for many years.

The commission heard nearly three hours of comment on both sides and received 33 emails and letters from people in favor of changing the name and four or five from those who wanted to keep it as is, according to Commissioner Stephen Lichtman.

On the name change side, Easton resident Elizabeth Wenzel, a mother of three young children, submitted 736 signatures that she and her husband, Brian, collected on a petition.

They, resident Jonathan Kornblatt and others who spoke in favor of the name change said they were not interested in a pronouncement of guilt or innocence. But they said it was not in the best interest of the community to keep the name in light of the taint it cast on the park and the community.

Ms. Wenzel said she received a phone call from a Fairfield man the night of the special hearing who said Mr. Toth, then their bus driver, had tried to molest his brother, but his father found out and wouldn't let his sons near Mr. Toth.

Catherine Dunsby, mother of four, was another resident who urged the commission to change the name.

"The park is a large part of our life," she said. "It was named after Mr. Toth's death, and he didn't know the park was going to be named for him. I ask the commission to do the right thing."

Ms. Dunsby said she had heard people from other towns refer to the park as being "named for a child molester."

Attorney Helen McGonigle represented Mr. Powel in 2004 and submitted documents and testimony with updated information. A $10-million judgment was entered against Carlo Fabbozzi, Mr. Toth's business partner, for molesting Mr. Powel. The Diocese of Bridgeport, which hired Mr. Fabbozzi as a gardener, settled with Mr. Powel.

"Knowledge is manifold," Ms. McGonigle said, citing a passage from the Book of Daniel 12: 4, "meaning we are always learning ... especially when it comes to this topic, childhood sexual abuse and its perpetrators."

She added, "It is not my intention to belittle or make light of the feelings of those who have only positive memories of Mr. Toth and remain supportive."

Toth supporters

But an equally vocal contingent of residents who had known and admired Mr. Toth had glowing memories of him. They did not back down in their defense of him at the meeting and rebuffed the accusations that tarnished his name.

The commission allowed them to speak at length about their feelings, in some cases making disparaging remarks about the alleged victims and those who wanted to change the name.

Thomas Chrzanowski, Andrew Kachele, Joe Silhavy, and Steven Rowland were among those who spoke on behalf of Mr. Toth and his contributions to the community and to the town's youth. They criticized the effort to change the name while acknowledging the no-win situation into which the commission had been drawn.

"I knew Skip my whole life," Mr. Silhavy said. "These accusations were never made while he was alive, not until after he passed on.

"It's a shame; after a man can't defend himself. He did a lot for us as we grew up and was an honorable man."

Mr. Kachele said he spent many hours with Mr. Toth, and he was playful with the kids, "but there was never any hint of issues."

Referring to Mr. Powel, he said, "One of the accusers had repressed memories. Other individuals came forward after he died. Memories are a funny thing."

Mr. Chrzanowski said that Mr. Toth was one of the founding fathers of the Parks and Recreation Commission. "Basically he was the recreation department," he said.

He said as a Boy Scout he learned to tie knots from Mr. Toth, who tied the boys up while they were learning.

"I was tied up by Skip," he said. "Our parents knew. If there was a problem the whole town would have known."

Instead of making a decision that night he urged the commission to talk with more people who have lived in town for years, and he criticized Mr. Antonez and The Courier for resurrecting an issue that had already been decided.

Mr. Toth had been hit with shrapnel during the war and couldn't have kids, Mr. Rowland said. "We were all his kids. Changing the park's name in 1985 was the best thing the town could have done," he said.

Mr. Rowland said he was in a group of friends with Russell Neary, the volunteer firefighter killed in the line of duty during Superstorm Sandy, and Phil Adriani, and they thought the world of Mr. Toth, he said.

No-win

But James DiCuffa had a different take. He grew up in the same era but said he wasn't "one of Mr. Toth's kids."

He said the kids back then knew of Mr. Toth's proclivities, and he said he stayed far away from him.

"This was a very difficult decision," Commissioner Lichtman said. "Whatever we do, people will be unhappy on either side."

Commission Chairman Kathi Smith thanked the residents who turned out and those who submitted comments.

"We thank you for your hard work," she said. "This was a sensitive and difficult decision. Some will hate us, some will love us.

"We don't want the community to be divided. As one of the speakers said, if Skipper knew of the controversy, he would have stepped aside and done what's best for the children."

The commission will come up with a new policy for naming parks, and once it does, it will rename Toth Park.

"I am so pleased that so many came together in support of the effort to change the name and that the Parks and Recreation Commission came together and made the decision they did tonight," Mr. Antonez said.

He also said he would like to see transparency and a process in which the commission involves the community.

"It's a new day," Ms. Wenzel said. "I hope the sun will shine again on the park with a new name and a new reopening."