Wrestling With1 Faith: Readers Share Their Catholic Experiences (part 2)
By Tom Moran
Last Sunday, Star-Ledger editorial page editor Tom Moran wrote about his struggles with Catholicism, describing himself as a “refugee from the Catholic Church.” This week, the Star-Ledger is publishing letters from our readers about their own struggles. This is Part 2 of 3. Letter was divisive, hurtful Being a Catholic has always been part of my heritage and the center of my religious identity. Whenever I attend Mass I feel a spiritual connection with God and a sense of community with the congregation. I believed the rules of the Church should be followed and my conscience should be my moral compass. And yet I find the views expressed in Archbishop Myers' letter, and shared by much of the hierarchy to be divisive and hurtful. If I do not agree with all the proclamations in his letter does this negate my faith of the last eighty years and mean I should refrain from receiving Communion? I resent being told I should choose a presidential candidate based solely on his views on gay marriage and abortion , ignoring the social issues that affect everyday lives. There should be room in the Church for both liberals and conservatives. It is when the separation of church and state is ignored that religious freedom is threatened. The Church needs to rethink some of its long held beliefs and consider whether they are appropriate for today's world. I have a sister who is a nun and am acquainted with many of her fellow nuns who have studied theology and would make excellent and compassionate priests. Yet they are barred from ordination because they are women, even though there is a shortage of priests. We have a divorced son who struggled with the involved paper work of an annulment and finally married in a civil ceremony. We welcome him and his wife into our family as a married couple despite the fact that in the eyes of the Church their marriage is invalid. It is the Archbishop's views on homosexuality that I find most troubling. I fear they could cause great harm to young People already struggling with their sexuality and influence parents to reject a child whose sexual orientation is not to their liking. We need to have a more compassionate view of gays and lesbians and not encourage them to live hidden lives. For now I will continue to attend Mass and, yes, receive Communion. But in the back of my mind, to my dismay, a niggling doubt has been planted. If I do not agree with all the views of the Church, can I still consider myself a good Catholic? Mary Ann Treacy, Brick A lifelong Catholic I was born a Catholic, and, God willing, I will die a Catholic. I have tried to live up to the teachings of the Church because it is the Church founded by Christ. These teachings, with divine backing, have endured for more than 2.000 years. Does the Catholic Church have sinners? Yes, every single member. Have its teachings called people to holiness? Yes, great holiness. There is a story from Boccaccio's fourteenth century Decameron that sums up this idea. Abraham, a Jew of Paris, is the friend of Giannotto di Civigni, who for years has urged him to become a Christian. One day Abraham departs for Rome, telling Giannotto that he wants to see the leaders of the Church – the pope and the Curia – to decide whether or not he wants to convert. Giannotto, knowing of the debauched and decadent ways of the Roman clergy, fears that Abraham will never want to convert after witnessing the corruption of the Church. But when Abraham returns, he converts, concluding that that if Christianity can still spread even when its hierarchy is so corrupt, it must be the true word of God. Mary Lou Rodimer, Rockaway Maybe we misunderstood the archbishop Perhaps the intent of Archbishop Myers letter is somewhat different than the interpretation of your editorial board, maybe he is truly concerned about people's spiritual fulfillment? Bottom line, he is a mid-level senior executive in what is a well-established international enterprise and he is expected to be seen toeing the line and expounding the corporate vision. But what if he truly recognizes the spiritual pain of his fellow humans and understands the need for change? Given his position, he cannot simply go against the Vatican's position and start marrying gay couples, or he would find himself as a poor missionary in the Amazon jungle the next day. What if he is a student of history and realizes that the glacial speed of change in the Catholic church has once again left meaningful reform to those spiritually unfulfilled by the current vision but may still be hanging in and hoping or have completely left the church. Given the current heightened interest to discuss and debate the many topics in the national election, why not add another to encourage consideration of what the vision of the Catholic church is on controversial topics and hope the basis of change among the unfulfilled will result? This way he is seen as trumpeting the current Vatican vision but maintains plausible denial for instigating change. Realistically, due to the vested interests of the Vatican patriarchy, meaningful change will not come to the Catholic church soon but perhaps history will repeat itself with another major schism lessening the power and the wealth of the Vatican and increasing the spiritual fulfillment of those in need. And if Myers does recognize the higher importance of meeting the spiritual needs of his fellow human beings, he might find a new more satisfying job at a new church. Ken Nazimek, Woodbridge God's plan, man's happiness don't always agree I wish to refer to the lengthy and angry column by Tom Moran in the Sept. 30 Star-Ledger. He tells us of his "recent conversation with Newark Archbishop John Myers, and his attempt to sway the election to Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan." Apparently, the Bishop did not respond to his advice, and so, he uses his weapons as a professional Journalist to make his 'personal case' public, in a liberal, autobiographical column. The bishop's pastoral letter which he refers, was directed to the Roman Catholic constituency of the Archdiocese of Newark, of which he is the head. He quite simply reiterated the constant teaching of our holy church, reminding the faithful among other things, that these issues are non-negotiable factors, of Catholic belief. Could he do less in view of the almost daily blitzkrieg of lies coming from much of the mainstream press, and media in general, suggesting otherwise ? Homosexuality – ergo, gay marriage, is categorically forbidden, as is abortion. One cannot remain a Catholic in good standing and hold these beliefs as agreeing with church teaching (no matter even the appalling shame and scandal of those within church leadership, who transgressed and wounded the "Body of Christ" so grievously). Those Catholics with homosexual proclivities are bound by the same rules (commandments) as are all Catholics, whether they have an attraction to other men, other men's wives, other people's property, or even to honoring other gods. "In the decades since" (presumably, since his school days) Moran tells us, "he has fled a million miles from the church to join with the 75 percent of Catholic refugees, who've left in the ensuing years." Moran's whine is that of the disgruntled Catholic, who simply cannot abide the Church's unwillingness to accommodate what he, and the world considers progress. Sadly such attitudes are as old as Arianism, and as fresh as yesterday's stale bread. No other Church, he tells us, "has shed so many followers during these decades, according to a Pew Research survey." Ever since the "fall," God's law has interfered with elements of man's "progress." Man's ideas and time frame - and God's plan for man's happiness - are not always in agreement. History is replete with the endless examples of our misuse of the great gift of free will. Anyone who will look at this nation with clear eyes, must see that the moral chaos that abounds is rapidly leading our nation into the economic and social chaos that is well under way. We are on the edge of the precipice and it's a long way down. Moran's big beef is that the bishop is deliberately trying to sway the election for Romney/Ryan – notwithstanding the glaringly obvious fact that the press in general, with few exceptions (and the Star Ledger is not one of them), are shamelessly and uncritically in the Obama/Democrat camp. What price objectivity and the noble call of newspaper journalism - to be "The Fourth Estate." In my view, it wasn't very prudent or necessary for Moran to give us the anatomy of his family's downward spiral to apostasy. In a saner, more civilized era, no self-respecting man would give us such detail about his family, in order to justify his own descent from the fidelity of his childhood years, growing up "in a devout Catholic family of nine children." I detect though, a deeper reason for his anger in his need to justify his own apostasy, in view of our still vibrant Catholic church which will surely outlive us and the heart rending sadness of our age, with so many young and not-so-young souls, mired in the infidelity, promiscuity and sexual anarchy that bodes great sadness and even tragedy, for so many individuals and families. There is a cancer in the social order of our country. This has sadly, been fostered to a considerable degree, by so many who came from Catholic families that bought into the "cafeteria Catholicism" of the post-Vatican II period, aided and abetted even, by elements within the church hierarchy itself, and in Catholic higher education. So I do not want to be in the business of judging culpability - that I leave to God; but I do make a judgment on those like Tom Moran, who in their professional capacity as journalists, dare to assign motive, spread misinformation and mock the long held truths of the Faith they have themselves abandoned. You ill-serve your profession, Mr. Moran, and you should be ashamed, but I doubt that such a word is still part of your vocabulary. Sean Flanagan, Florham Park Walked away from church many times I was raised in a strict Catholic home. 13 years of Catholic schooling. I missed that "love" you spoke about, Tom. Never knew it. Nuns in the '50s and '60s were not nice, nor were the priests. In Catholic school, the nun told me that I had to always stay in a state of grace, because I could die at any moment. I was 6. I was told that a "vocation was something God asked of you, and not something you could not reject." That sent me to my knees for months, as I prayed to God not to "ask me." That is how much I hated the nuns. I was 8. I have walked away many times... now it's for real, because I ask the Catholic hierarchy: How dare you!!! How dare you mandate a morality to your parishioners that you are so obviously lacking?? The Catholic Church, sadly, is filled with old white men totally distanced from everyday society They pontificate, they are sanctimonious. They protect child rapists. They protect child abusers. They fight laws that might punish the abusers. I do not see Jesus there. Jesus said "Suffer the little children come unto me." Protect the children. Catholic children of my generation were taught that the priests were God's representatives on earth. How devastating not only to be sexually abused, but by someone you thought was like the God you were taught to worship? Janet Zoubek Dickson, Pennington Years later, a peace is discovered Where to begin? Grew up Catholic, went to parochial school through 8th grade, altar boy, the whole enchilada. I was fully indoctrinated, but once I hit high school I lost interest, as did lots of others my age. Fast forward to my forties. Tried to sneak into church and get back the old feelings but they just weren't there. I suppose I was naive to think that some spirit would wash over me, but there I was. And felt nothing, except perhaps an urge to nap. As fortune would have it, I work across from St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and wandered in several years ago for a lunchtime Mass. There was a visiting Irish priest saying Mass and, when he finally gave his sermon, I was absolutely riveted. Finally, I was being challenged and spoken to as an adult. To this day, I will drop in for a quiet moment and drink it all in, as it is quite the majestic place, and I find a peace there that I find nowhere else. As far as again becoming a practicing catholic? Not likely. Most sermons are bland and designed to not offend the regular donors, and I no longer have use for such rigid orthodoxy. But vote for Romney? I would rather burn in perpetuity. Bob Durand, Ogdensburg Church needs more principled leaders Imagine if you will it's the year 1550 BC. According to Exodus, the Israelites have been wandering in the Sinai Desert freed from the bondage of the Egyptians. An enterprising scribe accompanying them takes the initiative to poll them at this juncture. Rather than sensing a highly positive response, he finds over 70% are highly dissatisfied with their lot in life, complaining about lack of food, comfort and security; actually they express a longing for a return to the good old days of slavery under their Egyptian Masters. The scribe is certainly taken aback at this development and writes a new piece criticizing their leader Moses, his chief counselor Aaron etc. for their dismal leadership and performance. Hard to imagine? Of course it isn't because I have lifted parts of this tale from the Exodus book in the Bible. You sir placed yourself in the same situation with your critique of the Archbishop. There have been historical disconnects between the Creator and his creatures over the course of salvation history. Your well- documented Catholic background should inform you of that fact. In simplistic terms, the tension existing between God and his people can be reduced to an observation such as the following fictional interchange: "Lord, I want to thank you for your creation, your care and your divine providence. For the most part, you seem to have gotten things quite right but there are a few areas where you may have missed the mark such as abortion, divorce, etc. Fortunately for you, your proudest creation, namely us, can help you in these areas and guide you on what really is appropriate instruction because we live it each day". I wish more Catholic clerics would challenge the mores of contemporary civilization especially of professed Catholic politicians such as Pelosi, Cuomo and Sebelius who routinely bring much scandal to the faith by their advocacy of positions that are in direct contradiction to church teachings. Is it a co-incidence that the Archbishop's statements coincide with the forthcoming election? – I hope not. We need more, not less such principled leadership from our clergy. I read your columns regularly and I categorize your political leanings as decided liberal (progressive). That inclination in my experience places a disproportionate stress on the rights of the individual even at the expense of the Creator's master plan. I am quite comfortable in my Catholic orthodoxy from a counter-perspective. I reason that if it's His creation and his set of rules, then some authoritative body, able to articulate same, must be present if a true sense of divine justice is to prevail in this creator-creature relationship. At the heart of your column and the core of liberalism is the disavowal of such a set of premises, I respectfully submit. Frank P. Puzycki, Long Valley No room for the thoughtful Catholic I read your column last week with great interest and then read the response letters and noticed that the few which were in support of the archbishop all came from men who worked for the archbishop in his diocese. This says so much about the state of today's Catholics and their church. I, too, was raised Catholic and came from a devout family. But somewhere along the way, especially in the past 10 years, I lost my faith -- not in God -- but in the Catholic church. I have learned more since I have left the church and become more spiritual in my beliefs than ever. People in power have a tendency to disappoint whether in politics, business, or religion. And I can say that I have been more disappointed by the hypocrisy that is the Catholic Church than in any other aspect of life. I did not leave the church when I was divorced and remarried and thus excommunicated. I continued to attend Masses and to support the church that was part of my life. However, after the scandals of the pedophile priests and even worse, the cover-ups, the disparity was too much. As the years have passed, I have seen more and more reason to disassociate myself from the Catholic church. And Archbishop Meyers confirms my feelings because there is no room for any thinking person in his version of the Catholic church. Unfortunately, any one who has an opinion which does not coincide with this Archbishop is relegated to a lesser citizen. Most people are much too fearful to stand up to the Church and voice their true opinion, but as long as there are controlling leaders such as Archbishop Meyers, even those who will not speak up, will slowly break away. The only way the Archdiocese of Newark will notice what they have lost is when they cease to received hundreds of thousands of dollars from their Sunday collections. I am angry at the loss of the true meaning of Christianity as it appears in today's Catholic Church and I truly believe that I am not alone. The future of the church is at stake and it doesn't look too promising. Elisa DeNicholas, Nutley Do you want to take the chance? I am 55 and have been a faithful Catholic all my life. Being raised in a strict Catholic up-bringing, I always felt that the church leaders provided the proper teachings, sent down from the Vatican. The most valuable teaching being that we all have a soul. There is, indeed, the existence of a heaven, and also, a hell. When we die, our soul will be going to one of those two places, and that is for eternity. Eternity is a mind-boggling duration. If you try to even fathom it, you cannot perceive it's far-reaching finality. Our short time on this earth will determine where our souls will be for eternity. Even if someone were on the fence, so to speak, about what religion teaches, I should think that even the remote possibility of one's soul potentially being in hell forever would be enough to scare one into righteousness. I believe in the Ten Commandments, and I also believe in what the church teaches - if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you will go to hell. One example of a mortal sin is to miss Mass on Sunday without a valid reason. I do understand that to many people this premise sounds crazy. Crazy as it may seem, do you want to take that chance? I attend Mass every Sunday, as well as most weekdays. Not only does this re-charge my spiritual battery; but, it also allows me to receive the Eucharist, Holy Communion, where Jesus Christ, himself enters my body. As Catholics, we believe that the priest, during Mass, actually transforms bread and wine, into the body and blood of Jesus, during every Mass: another precept that I understand that many people find difficult to believe. But, if you read the Bible, it is written down in the gospels. Now, let me affirm that I am not perfect, I am not a saint. I am a sinner. We are all sinners. Thank God that I have the opportunity to relieve my soul of my sins through the sacrament of confession, which I take advantage of, several times a year. The priest's power to provide this relief is also in the New Testament, and it cleanses the soul. Many people feel that the type of teaching that I have written, is too difficult to bear, and many leave the faith. Also, many people choose to be "cafeteria Catholics," opting to choose which laws they want to follow, and which laws they don't. I don't know how God will judge them when they die, and it is certainly not my place to judge others; but, as I wrote above, I would not want to take that chance. Everything I have written is not my opinion. It is all Church Doctrine. Jon Falkowski, Linden Doesn't need church to be righteous I was raised Catholic. I attended Catholic school up to middle school. I participated in plays and Christmas shows, received Baptism, Communion, and Confirmation. My mother dragged me to church almost every Sunday - sometimes Saturday evening if we wanted to sleep in and make pancakes. I always wondered why my father didn't join us at mass every week, but I knew not to ask because "it doesn't matter why Dad didn't come." I still had to. As I got older, I understood that my father was simply not a religious person, and I realized several years ago that I am not either. I am still technically a part of the Catholic church, and I have never thought about converting to another religion. It's not that I don't believe in anything - I have beliefs - I just believe there are plenty of ways besides religion to live a satisfying and righteous life. In Catholic school, they teach you that there are many different religions, but one thing they don't teach you is that not all of these belief systems can be right. Logically, only one can be correct - which would make the others flat out wrong. But how could that be? How could all of the stories and lessons they were teaching me since I was five be untrue? Once I was old enough to think rationally and distinguish right from wrong, I no longer needed the fear of God to be a virtuous person. I no longer needed nuns and priests to tell me how to be "good," and I no longer needed an hour a week in a room half-full of pretenders to make me feel like I was headed in the right direction with my life. (See, "half-full." I'm still an optimist.) Ryan Hussey, Monroe Township Left church after daughter slighted My wife and I were born into Catholic families, educated in Catholic and Jesuit schools, attended Mass with our three children weekly and assisted in our parish's Youth Group during their high school years. Our youngest daughter was the first female altar server in the parish, an invitation she accepted from a sensitive, thoughtful Franciscan priest, ahead of his time. On the day of her sister's Confirmation, she was assigned altar server, a spiritual moment to be shared between them. Shortly after dropping our younger daughter off with her neatly pressed white robe, she run to her mother and me with tears in her eyes, explaining that "a priest said I could not be on the altar with the bishop." Quite upset, we approached this man, the secretary to the bishop, who stated that only boys could be altar servers. I explained our history and involvement with the church and with youth. I let him know his position proved to my daughters, indeed all women, they were second class citizens in the church. I was told this was not the personal position of the bishop, but "he could not risk being photographed on the altar with a female," and "he would certainly continue to represent the rights of females in the church." That Sunday afternoon changed my family's relationship with the Roman Catholic Church. More than 25 years have passed since that eventful Sunday. Reading Archbishop Myers' statement last week opened old, painful wounds. The men continue ranting about women's roles, decisions and responsibilities, about gender and sexual preferences, as Catholics listen less and less, and empty the pews of our churches. In a positive conclusion, my wife and I so admire the many works of the sisters and lay women who carry the church on their shoulders, quietly performing the duties God has asked of us all. Hopefully in the not too distant future, they will fill those positions of power held by men and resurrect the church to the spirituality its founder intended. Then this family can return home. George X. Dean, Ringwood Wonders what else the church didn't tell her I attended a Catholic school in New Jersey, 13 if you count kindergarten. I participated in all the accoutrements, "First Friday" mornings spent in Church, church choir, processions, carrying nuns' book bags, standing when Monsignor came into the room, daily Religion class as one of the 3 Rs, and, oh, minus gym or art classes. And this, besides moving 3 towns away in 8th grade and having to take the train back for the next 4 yrs. Rote memorization was central to the tenets of Religion and 12th grade class concentrated on how to defend it, always praying for the "pagan babies" and those who were not Catholic and damned to hell. The "doubt" began to surface in 12th grade when a girl in my circle of friends, much more mature than the rest of us, became engaged in the spring and planned to marry after graduating from high school. The Monsignor condemned her and did not let her participate in graduation, as an "example" to all of "immoral behavior". Going off to a public college, it was there in a Freshman History class that I first heard of the "Inquisition" in the 12th Century and the Crusades. I was horrified and began to wonder what else was omitted in my Catholic education. Slowly I began to question everything I was taught but I always believed in the basic tenet that Jesus was God. When I married we had children and felt they needed a foundation but would allow them to make their own decision about what they believed when they were teenagers. We always stressed charity and tolerance by example. They attended public schools but went to "CCD" classes after school and experienced other religions through friends. At that time the Catholic Church was in a kinder, gentler period under Pope John XXIII, when teachings of hell and damnation turned to God's love for us and service. Masses changed to English and we felt being part of a community. However, eventually along the way, we experienced the hypocrisy of people who acted one way in Church and another way in the community, watching the Church leadership "turning a blind eye" or "bending the rules", allowing "contributing" parishioners to "annul" long term marriages, declaring their children, in effect, bastards, remarrying and allowed to receive communion, supposedly a privilege allowed only to those following the rules of the Church. This hypocrisy, along with a change in Papal leadership and new mandates, including mixing in politics, made me again question whose Church this really was and if I was again being manipulated for its own ends. And then came the revelations of child abuse by clergy and a massive cover-up and lack of Church leadership on the issue. Memories of emotional and physical punishment by some teachers came flooding back. By then I was angry and out the church door and many came with me. Today there are a few who attend some masses in an echoing, cavernous building, tax exempt, I might add. Some continue to defend or choose to attend and look the other way on Church policies with which they don't agree, like contraception, abortion, gay rights, etc. To my way of thinking, there is no such thing as a "Liberal Catholic". You can't go "church hopping" to find one that lets you believe what you want. You either believe or accept all the Catholic Church's stances on issues or you aren't one. Those who walked through the door, think for themselves, are educated and read. Some have rejected everything. Some have found another God. Some, who need a community, found a kinder, gentler message, never losing the core value of a loving Jesus as God and now condemn those in the Catholic Church leadership who do not live, teach, or speak in His name. Carol Kocsik Calamoneri, Princeton Church used its power to control people I am a "refugee" Catholic and I thank you for putting into words the feelings that I have regarding the leadership of the church I was baptized in, confirmed in and had 11 years of education in their schools. I left because I think the church leadership is woefully behind the times when it wages war on same sex couples who wish to have civil recognition and protection of their relationship. Or the assault that Catholic women are under regarding using birthday control or in the sad case (because it always sad) of abortion. To me it became obvious that the church of my upbringing is about power to control people and to perpetuate that power even if it means harming children and denying a place at the table for those who do not follow their positions hook, line and sinker. Did Jesus deny anyone a place at the table? Joseph Manning, Maplewood A realistic Catholic Cradle to the grave, I remain Catholic because I remain realistic. While the Church is an imperfect human institution, the faith is a beautiful mixture of solemnity and joy, community and transcendence. For every institutional sin there are thousands of humble priests and nuns acting with the love of Christ; that, of course, does not mean Catholics should be complacent about the institution. One of my favorite novels is Mariette in Ecstasy by Ron Hansen, a deacon in California. The novel dramatizes the life of Mariette Baptiste, a young postulant who experiences strange visions and stigmatic wounds. Mariette's peers and superiors in the order question and ultimately reject her, afraid to confront Christ when he is truly in their midst. I fear that many Catholics--lay and otherwise--want to use Christ for their own purposes, rather than opening their hearts and minds to the possibility of a visceral faith, one as revolutionary as Christ's operating principle: sacramental love. I agree with the writer Andre Dubus that life is saturated with sacraments, from the codified seven of the Roman Church to something as mundane as making sandwiches for his daughters. God is love: the Church, above all else, must remember that truth. Nick Ripatrazone, Whippany Catholic church isn't a democracy The Catholic Church is the most undemocratic institution in the world. They're slightly better then American Civil Liberties Union. The pope selects cardinals who share the same beliefs he does. When the pope dies, those cardinals pick a new pope who shares the same beliefs as they do. It's like a revolving door. It takes centuries for anything to change. We might as well have the priests turn back around and say the Mass in Latin. They keep losing us and will keep losing us, but they won't change. God forbid, the pope is the voice of Jesus Christ. It would be blasphemous to think otherwise. I was born a Catholic and hope someday to become a Catholic again, but I don't see it. James A. Sharrock, Jersey City Right to worship without criticism I begin to wonder why the Catholic church is under siege by Democrats, liberals, the media, left-wingers, and fallen Catholics. I think the reason is; to get their favorite candidate, re-elected president of the United States. I feel that these attacks against the church have become very personal. I am an American Catholic devoted to my God, my church and my family. I believe in the sanctity of marriage; and that every life is precious, especially that of the unborn child. For over 40 years, I, and my wife, have been very active in our Catholic community, for example: running the Cub Scouts/Boy Scouts, fundraising, blood drives, lector, ministering Holy Communion, and assisting our pastor in financial and pastoral matters. There have been bad times in the past which tested our faith, but we weathered them and still remain strongly faithful to our church. The Catholic church in America was started without any hospitals. Now one out of every five people in the United States receive medical care at a Catholic hospital. Similarly, there were no schools. Now the church teaches more than 3 million students a day. There are more than 250 Catholic colleges and universities, as well as 1,200 high schools and 5,000 grade schools. Every day, the Catholic church feeds, clothes, shelters, and educates more people than any other organization in the world. I think it is about time to stop these attacks against the church, and all Catholics. We are your neighbors, co-workers and fellow Americans; and have the right to worship as we want without criticism from others. Richard A. Ketay, Newark Don't let priests interfere with relationship with the church I've been challenged on how I would remain part of the Roman Catholic Church that does not accept me. First I try to explain that I am accepted and loved by God first and foremost which is the only thing that I could ever want in my life. I am not looking for acceptance from other people. The Catholic faith is perfect but the Catholic church, as an institution, is not. It is led by people who are prone to human error. Peter denied Jesus Christ three times but Jesus still chose Peter to lead the church. Therefore, if Jesus can accept the first pope who was not perfect, than I can accept this pope and bishops with their faults. All of us cannot start our own church, e.g. Henry VIII, when it suits us. We are One Body. People accuse us of being cafeteria Catholics but are we not all flawed in some way? Jesus spoke about helping the homeless, forgiveness for those that hurt you and heaven that is there for everyone. Attending Mass every week provides this re-assurance on a regular basis. If I was to leave the church, the hierarchy of the church wins and I no longer receive the sacraments. I lose. And why join a different Christian denomination? No other church offers the same Sacraments. We believe that Jesus is truly present during the Eucharist. I do not financially support any parish that is not welcoming. I remit money to Catholic Charities in depressed areas, like St. John's in Newark or Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Asbury Park. People need to develop their own intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ and receive Him in Word and Sacrament at Holy Mass. I encourage people to never allow a particular priest or bishop to interfere with that relationship. Kevin O'Sullivan, Chatham Guided by Christ's commandments Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." These two Great Commandments were in essence replies to doubters of Jesus. They were trying to trick him into rejecting the Ten Commandments of the Old Testament. He used the two commandments to summarize the 10. These two commandments are what guide me as I remain a practicing Catholic. The Church leaders are as varied in talent as the leaders of any major institution. Many times they reflect the deepest representation of Christ's teachings. Through the Sacrament of Holy Orders, consecrated priests are given the power to bring Christ to us. In my 61 years as a Roman Catholic, I have met many priests who have truly represented Christ. Their words of interpretation of the Gospels every Sunday at Mass, and their good works while serving the community are inspirational. Yes, I have been disappointed in a few who didn't quite "get it" I'm disappointed by allegations of Vatican power struggles. I did and do have concerns about the attitudes towards women and our role in the Church. These issues do not cause me to leave because the essence of the religion and its teachings remain true for me. The seven sacraments including penance (confession of sins) and the Eucharist are supposed to bring us the grace of God to strengthen us in our faith. Marriage is also a sacrament. Whether you consider this to be blind faith or truth, I can attest to the times in my marriage (36 years) when I called on the grace of God to get me through a rough patch. And when my husband passed away after a long illness, it was a priest's kindness and his prayers that helped me through my grief. I spent 33 years teaching modern languages in public schools. Cross-cultural understanding is key in language study. During my career, I met colleagues and students of many faiths, some with no belief in God, some from traditional or non-traditional family units. I accept them for who they are and I respect their individuality. I have also attended ecumenical services where leaders of other faiths were as inspirational as the priests. I know ex-priests who are now married and still remain strong in their faith belief. So while I know that the Church preaches one holy catholic church, I cannot believe that these others will never be "saved" I don't think I'm at odds with the 2 commandments in saying so. I see God in their faces, in the faces of my family and friends. "God is love, and he that abides in love abides in God, and God in him"
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