National Program Teaches Child Abuse Prevention

By Ginnie Graham
Tulsa World
May 6, 2012

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20120506_11_A11_Childs344595

Child sexual abuse is woefully under-reported and harder to detect, says a Tulsa woman who created an abuse prevention program.

"The biggest difference is that other types of physical abuse can occur in public, and sex abuse is a private crime," Sharon Doty said. "The prevention and treatment of sex abuse is something distinctly different. The reporting is outrageously low, especially for boys."

Sexual abuse of a child represented about 5 percent of substantiated abuse and neglect cases in fiscal year 2011, according to statistics from the Oklahoma Department of Human Services.

Doty created a sex abuse prevention program that has been adopted in 122 Catholic dioceses in the nation, with about 1.5 million people going through the workshops. It focuses on understanding the behavior of predators and how to intervene.

She created the nonprofit group Empowering Adults - Protecting Children, and has written the book "Evil in Our Midst" to spread the word of prevention.

Almost 90 percent of child sex abuse is perpetrated by a trusted person known to the child and family, Doty said.

This is what makes reporting and treatment difficult.

When a family member sexually abuses a child, the tendency is to keep it a secret and handle it within the family, she said.

"They will keep the child away from the family member or tell that person not to come around their child anymore, but they don't report it," Doty said. "I've heard they won't report it because it'll upset their mother or father or someone else.

"They think they have protected their child because they've confronted the abuser. But that person is most likely going to find another victim, and those children need to be protected. There are all these justifications for people not having children be our priority."

Doty's presentation focuses on the grooming behaviors of abusers. Many times, abusers will start by gaining trust with parents then escalate into situations where they are alone with the children.

"Offenders make sure to establish relationships with parents so when behaviors show up later, parents will dismiss them or talk themselves out of it," Doty said. "It's not bad parenting but the ability on the part of the offender.

"People see it as a good, wholesome thing to do because the intentions are good - like helping out single parents. Nothing is wrong with that, and we need supportive people in our society. But we need to recognize when it goes beyond that."

It is important to pay attention to the reactions of children around adults and to take it seriously when they try to avoid an adult or make abuse allegations.

Doty said the program is not meant to scare parents or create paranoia.

"I've heard the program actually makes people feel more freedom," Doty said. "If you have in the back of your mind the 10 behaviors that could be potentially risky for kids, then you know what to look for and do. When someone you see starts behaving in those ways, you can interrupt and intervene in those situations and eliminate the risk."

• Always want to be with children alone in remote places at times when others are not around.
• Give gifts to children without parents' permission and tell the child to keep the gift a secret.
• Seem to always be touching children. They engage in wrestling, roughhousing or tickling, particularly with children that they do not know well.
• Indulge children by allowing them to do things their parents would prohibit.
• Operate as if the rules of society and/or the organization simply do not apply to them.
• Discourage others from joining in activities and plan their encounters with children when others are not around.
• Make themselves indispensable to busy parents and guardians. They often seem to be the answer to a busy parent's prayers, but they also take the parents' place in the activities and situations.
• Introduce sexually explicit language into the child's life and show them adult pictures and pornography.
• Agree with the child when the child is upset with parents.
• Take pictures of children without permission.
• Speak to children in a childlike manner and seems to prefer the company of children to that of adults.