Male Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse Subject of Film at Wmu

By Andy Robins
WMUK
March 30, 2012

http://wmuk.org/news/select/272079/Male_survivors_of_child_sexual_abuse_subject_of_film_at_WMU

[with audio and video]

The federal government says about one in every six boys in this country will be sexually abused by the time they are 16. Two events at Western Michigan University this month will help male sexual abuse survivors come to terms with their trauma. And organizers say they hope the wider community will learn about the issue.

Western is one of several colleges and universities around the country showing the new film Boys and Men Healing. The documentary by Kathy Barbini and Simon Weinberg tells the stories of three men who sexually abused as children.

[Tony Rogers] “While he was raping me, I felt like I left my body because I thought I was going to die. So, I wasn’t present there. And actually I had agreed to die at that point.”

That’s Tony Rogers, who’s now a teacher, from a YouTube trailer for film. Also featured are David Lisak, a therapist who calls on his own experience to counsel other male survivors, and Mark Crawford, an advocate for changes in laws on child sexual abuse.

[Tony Rogers] ‘I just experienced many symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. And I thought it was uniquely me.”

[David Lisak] “Boys are sexually abused in vast numbers and vastly more frequently than as a society we are recognizing.”

[Mark Crawford] “I was absolutely amazed that it, in fact, it was so common among sexual abuse survivors of feeling alone, or feeling it was only you.”

Boys and Men Healing will be shown twice at Western Michigan University during National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. Sociology professor Angela Moe is on the committee handling the events. She says all people need to know more about the issue.

[Angela Moe] “Childhood sexual abuse of boys is probably the least-talked about of any type of perpetration that can occur out there. I think some of it, much of it, is because of the sanctity that we put on families. Much of this abuse, much more than we want to realize, happens within relative or family types of settings. I think we don’t want to have to admit and then deal with the reality of this type of victimization; we don’t want to think that there are people out there that could do this. It would be a lot easier to brush it aside and pretend like it doesn’t occur, but I think at this point we have no choice. At this point there are enough survivors coming out.

For men there’s an incredible amount of shame. There’s concern about what this would mean to their masculinity. There’s a lot of blame they’ve put on themselves. You would see that across the board but particularly for those who are victimized by women. It’s a questioning of how much one might have brought it on themselves instead of realizing as children, children don’t ask for any type of victimization.”

Even so, men abused as boys can have a hard time finding someone to help them, even professional counselors and therapists. Tony Rogers:

[Tony Rogers] “I would call around to rape crisis centers and places that said they specialized in childhood sexual abuse, but no one had any place for men. And when I would ask the questions about men, everyone always thought I was a perpetrator.”

But Western’s Angela Moe says there’s no reason to fear male abuse survivors as potential abusers themselves.

[Angela Moe] “The statistics don’t bear that out. We have many, many people out there who are hurting young people who have had very safe and reasonable childhoods. It’s something else that explains their behavior. And we have many survivors out there who are just looking for healthy relationships and hoping to get their life on track and to complete their healing journey. They’re not out there to victimize others.”

Moe admits that some professionals don’t realize that men as well as women can confront problems caused by sexual abuse when they were young. But she says recent scandals, including cases at Penn State and Syracuse University, have brought more public attention to the issue. Moe says she believes it has become easier for adult men to admit to themselves that they were abused and to seek help.

[Angela Moe] “People are finally realizing that the hurt and harm done them as children was not their fault. And there are people who care and there people who will believe and listen and try to help, even if that just means being a listening board. While a lot of people associate boyhood child sexual abuse with the Catholic Church, we now know that it’s not that simple. This is epidemic and I think we are just at the brink of the iceberg in realizing how epidemic it is.”

[Mark Crawford] “There was nothing more liberating, I can’t recall a bigger step in my own healing than when I broke my silence and told my story.”

The stories of Mark Crawford and other men who were sexually abused as children are the heart of Boys and Men Healing. The documentary will be shown Tuesday, April 2nd and Wednesday, April 11th, at 7 p.m. at Western’s Little Theatre on Oakland Drive. The film will be followed by panel discussions featuring abuse survivors, therapists, prosecutors and clergy. Counselors will be available to meet privately with abuse survivors.

Several national groups also offer support for abuse survivors, including 1in6.org and Male Survivor.