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	In Sex Abuse Cases, Silence Not So Golden, after All By T.d. Jakes Washington Post December 21, 2011 http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-faith/post/in-sex-abuse-cases-silence-not-so-golden-after-all/2011/12/21/gIQAzcle9O_blog.html In the time of Confucius, the Chinese coined a saying: "Look not at what is contrary to propriety; listen not to what is contrary to propriety; speak not what is contrary to propriety; make no movement which is contrary to propriety." In modern times we are more familiar with the Japanese translation signified by three monkeys covering their eyes, ears, and mouth respectively, in a posture that we recognize as "see no, hear no, and speak no evil." There is however, a fourth, lesser known monkey called, "do no evil." As a pastor of a large congregation, father of five and grandfather of two, it's easy to point to the fourth monkey, "do no evil" as a no-brainer, especially in light of the recent spate of sex abuse scandals behind the ivy covered walls of our institutions of higher learning and elsewhere. I do however take particular issue with monkey number three, "speak no evil." What is most striking in both the high profile abuse cases as well as in the quiet anonymity of those unknown victims that don't grab the national headlines is the deafening silence with which the issue of child sex abuse is most often met. It's hard to imagine how we've managed to remain mum when you consider that one in five women and as many as 15 percent of men have experienced sexual abuse in childhood. Or that approximately 30 percent of abusers are 'family members' and around 60 percent are 'family friends,' community leaders, neighbors or coaches. Ten percent of the crimes are committed by total strangers. These are astounding statistics. It doesn't take a Mensa member to figure out that the silence that we call golden is unproductive, unprofitable, intolerable and downright contemptible. USA Today called unreported child abuse, "the silent crime," citing the fact that witnesses are often too horrified to report what they've seen. The Root DC called America's culture of silence a "national threat." The Bible says that there is 'a time to be silent and a time to speak.' (Ecclesiastes 3:37). As shocking and horrifying as these cases are, they also tell us a lot about ourselves: Firstly, they tell us that we really don't know what evil looks like. And that we really don't know what to do when we confront evil in the guise of well-known, well-liked, highly functioning, trusted members of our communities. They also tell us that we live in a "kill the messenger" society. We simply don't want to hear bad news or to have our tranquility upended by evidence to the contrary. We'd rather curse the darkness than light a candle to the fact that regardless of one's economic status or racial profile abuse is real and pervasive in our society. They clue us into the fact that we really don't know the signs of sex abuse. We blow past the signals that are not always recognizable. A broken arm or a black eye is a lot easier to spot than a wounded psyche or a shattered soul. We need to be so dialed into a child's emotional and physical well being that we notice even the most nuanced variation. They tell us that the toxic cocktail of inaction with a splash of silence betrays the very children that we seek to protect. Child sex abuse is an opportunistic and grossly underreported crime. We must attune our antennae to tell us when something seems amiss. We need to be dialing 9-1-1 at the very whisper of impropriety! Let's not "wait and see what happens." Lastly, they point to the fact that we really need to know more about the problem so that we can get help for the abused as well as the accused. As a pastor, I am in the business of restoration. I am deeply concerned for the physical, physiological and spiritual well being of the abused. On the other side of the coin, the perpetrators are routinely jailed and then churned back into society with no hope of behavior modification. We have to change this pattern. The lesson of the three monkeys is that we were not meant to act contrary to our own interests by denying what we see, hear and know to be true. The fourth monkey challenges us to do what is right - and to be guided by the strength of our convictions. While we can't put the child-sex-abuse-genie back in the bottle, we can open the dialog in the student unions, after school athletic programs, pulpits, Sunday school classrooms, and news rooms to bring this shameful topic from the darkest secreted crevices into the most glaring spotlight. We can also accept the fact that these televised cases prove the rule rather than the exception. There are far more children suffering in silence than those featured on the nightly news. We must care about these victims as much as their 'known' counterparts. The high profile cases have taught us is that we can't remain silent or act as if the problem of child sex abuse is someone else's battle to fight. I've always said that you can't change what you do not acknowledge. The late 18th century British abolitionist and political reformer William Wilberforce underscores this point: "You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know." Now that we know it's time for us to face the facts and take deliberate action to change these dire and daunting statistics. "I will not be silent..." (Isaiah 65:6)
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