BishopAccountability.org
	Sex-abuse Survivor Jimmy Carlino Doesn't Want Alleged Syracuse and Penn State Victims to Suffer in Silence By Michael O'Keeffe New York Daily News December 20, 2011 http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/iteam/2011/12/sex-abuse-survivor-jimmy-carlino-doesnt-want-alleged-syracuse-and-penn-state-victims-t When Jimmy Carlino first accused former Christ the King Regional High School basketball coach Bob Oliva of sexual abuse in 2008, Oliva and school officials tried to discredit him, writing him off as a crackpot looking for a quick payday. Carlino was vindicated in April, when Oliva pleaded guilty to sexual abuse charges in a Boston courtroom. Carlino will talk about his experience at 2:30 pm on Friday on DeFoRadio.com, the web station run by South Florida radio personality Jeff De Forest. (Here is the link: http://www.deforadio.com/) Carlino recently sent the Daily News an open letter to the alleged victims in the Penn State and Syracuse sex-abuse scandals about what he went through after he went public about the abuse, and what they can expect. I went through a very similar case. I'm writing this to let you know what to expect and what not to let go of. You see, I was molested by a coach at a young age. He went on to become a very famous and powerful figure in New York City basketball lore. He taught and coached at a prominent school where school officials first took his side when the initial allegations surfaced. You may read or hear where people in the community show support of these manipulative predators. Don't let any of this hurt you. I read where officials of his school took shots at my character and motives through the media. It hurts at first, but remember you have the truth with you at all times. I don't want you to feel alone. You're gonna hear he's innocent until proven guilty (he'll always be guilty in your heart and soul regardless of any outcome). You may hear, you're in it for the money. We know that's hogwash, because why would anyone admit that somebody violated them for a payday? Coming forward takes so much strength and courage. You're a hero to so many, including the many other victims who live in silence forever. It takes strength just to survive these atrocities and try to live a normal life. It's a long road. I want you to find comfort from your family, a close friend, a pet or whoever you can TRUST. It's important that you do this so your journey isn't as lonely or empty as your life has been thus far. We all suffer from different things. That varies from individual to individual, but in general, there are feelings of guilt, shame, loneliness, anxiety, depression, self-worthlessness etc. One of the biggest questions that affects me still today, in a big way, is WHY ME? Remember, we were just kids. It's tough to think back to how an 11- or 12-year-old mind works now that we're adults. You must believe that it was the good qualities in us why we were chosen by these evil-doers. You were probably sweet and innocent or kind and caring. Maybe you loved him. Don't be ashamed of that. There's nothing wrong with loving an adult male that we may have looked to as a father figure or an idol. That's normal. You may still love this man, even today. Through therapy, we will feel better and understand why to most of these inner thoughts and feelings. Our healthy sexual curiosity was distorted through the workings of a sexual deviant. Our curiosity was normal. We did nothing wrong, they did. These feelings didn't make us different than our friends, it didn't mean we were homosexuals. Subconsciously, or consciously, we may consider all these things or other things. But, the biggest hurdle has been cleared or overcome. Admitting what happened was the hardest part. Now, you must get help by talking to professionals that will guide you through the next chapter of your life. It's vital to get all those hidden secrets out that have been haunting us. I had the support of a loving family, a couple of close friends, new friends that I met through the legal process(hopefully you will too), and my Italian greyhound, Paloma. Take strength from those you LOVE and TRUST. Open up, even if it's a little bit at a time, to these new people you're going to meet in this legal process. Remember, 99.9% of all people believe you, support you and look up to you for being a HERO. That's what you are. Don't forget that. I was lucky to have a tremendous DA and staff with my case in Massachusetts. I believe you will have the same too. These are highly intelligent people with our best interests at heart. Believe in them and you will be rewarded with the right path in your road to recovery. Father Bob Hoatson, founder of (coincidentally) Road to Recovery, reached out to me in the early stages of my case. He did this in a non-threatening, easy going way to let me know that he was there to support me in any way he can and that he was proud of me. It took me almost a year to reach out to Father Bob and still today, almost three years later, he's there for me for many things, but most importantly, to talk too. Father Bob and myself are there for you. We there to support you, help you, guide you or whatever questions or concerns you may have. This Friday, at 2:30PM on deforadio.com, Father Bob and myself will be talking about childhood sexual abuse and the survivors. We will focus on what to expect when going into the early stages of a criminal trial against a pedophile. Please tune in if you can. If you want to reach us immediately, you can email Father Bob at Road to Recovery or myself, Jim Carlino, at stop.running1221@yahoo.com or call us at 862-368-8200. Your calling us or contacting us will be held in the strictest confidence. We will be honored and proud to help you in any way possible. We mean that from one victim to another to another. There are no hidden agendas. We only want you to know you're not alone and there are people out there who love you, support you and admire you. It's time to stop running and enjoy your life. I know it's easier said than done, but it's true. Don't revert back to the awful things we may have done in the past to help us cope with those deep, ugly, dark secrets that haunted our inner workings. Please, don't abuse yourself anymore, by taking drugs or drinking alcohol. Stop the bad things and start the good.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.