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	Steps to Take to Protect Children from Child Abuse By Tim Lennon Bay Citizen November 16, 2011 www.baycitizen.org/blogs/citizen/steps-take-protect-children-child-1/ Parenthood is never ending. The act of taking care of and protecting your child is an on-going task. Yet one out of four girls and one out of six boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they reach adulthood. How do we protect our children from being one of the statistics? (See: Darkness to Light http://www.d2l.org) The recent scandal at Penn State where numerous coaches, university officials, law enforcement officers and politicians were complicit in the sex abuse of children by their silence and failure to report abuse. The historic scandal of the Catholic Church were hundreds of church officials (bishops, cardinals, religious superiors, etc) hid child sex abusers, moved abusers from parish to parish, all under the rationale of protecting the authority and prestige of church officials. (See: www.snapnetwork.org, www.bishopaccountability.org) Coaches and clergy were previously seen as above reproach. Both of these scandals serve notice to parents more effort must be made to protect our children. The job of parents requires more vigilance. The statistics are scary but there are steps that can be taken by parents and guardians to keep our children safe. These are steps that begin at an early age and continue throughout the time our children live with us. From the start, our children must be taught respect for themselves and their body. This includes teaching them about appropriate and inappropriate touching. Extend this notion of respect for themselves to respect for others. The knowledge that they control their own body sets a foundation for healthy relationships and a healthy future. Respectful communication builds trust, confidence and acceptance which in turn allows the child to speak openly. Parents should foster communication with their child at every age where listening to your child is as important as talking to your child. Keep in mind that children, especially young children, do not always have the vocabulary or sophistication to report what has happened to them. We need to "read between the lines" to critically assess what is really happening. The great responsibility of raising children means taking an active role in learning about the risks facing our children. The vast majority of child abusers are known to the child.(See: http://www.preventchildabuse.org/advocacy/downloads/child_sexual_abuse.pdf) They may be a family member, a family friend, a neighbor, a respected person of authority (clergy, coach, teacher, etc.). Parents must know where their children are at all times and who they are with. This extends to oversight of activities whether at school, sports activities or church and the like. Who is responsible and is vetted for supervision of children? Also it is important to understand oversight of children when left alone with an adult. Obviously, trust is an important element of our oversight of our children when we leave them with relatives, child care workers, neighbors, priests, teachers, friends, coaches, etc. Our daily life and the safety of our children depend upon that trust so that daily life can continue. Given those circumstances we need be alert and aware and conscious of the many other elements of protecting our children described in this essay. At every development level a child must know basic safety skills appropriate to age of the child, such as how to travel to and from school, visiting the local park. Every visit outside the home is an opportunity by parents to teach your children the skills necessary to grow and thrive without threat when outside the immediate supervision of the parent. Discuss with children safe and unsafe practices when they are on their own. If we have built a level of respect and trust with our children, we can be actively involved in supervising their activity. Parents still must remain vigilant as to changes that may signal problems or abuse. Changes in the mood and behavior of your child may alert you to circumstances that require more inspection. Abrupt, significant and marked changes are clear warnings that something serious has happened. Children talking or acting inappropriately for their age about sex, violence may be indications of prior or on-going trauma. Substance abuse, eating disorders, "cutting" may also indicate trauma that needs to be investigated. There is no balance when weighing the reputation of a teacher, priest or coach in relation to the crippling effects of child abuse. Suspicion is a sufficient level of threat to be reportable to the child protective agencies and the police. We have seen the recent crisis of the coaching staff at Penn State and child sex scandal in the Catholic Church, where accusations of abuse were dismissed by those in authority, resulting in many more horrific crimes of child sex abuse. Crippling injury could have been prevented if the witnesses reported. When we see or know of questionable actions of possible sex abuse of children we must raise the alarm. It becomes imperative that a report be made to child protective agencies or the police. They are professionals and have the authority, knowledge and experience to investigate allegations to determine the credibility of these accusations. Abuse typically occurs in secret and sometimes the child is intimidated and threatened. Don't delay the reporting. If a predator feels he is noticed or suspected he may move away, change his prey or change his behavior to hid his abuse or even redouble his efforts to be more secretive. Too many child abusers sexually abuse hundreds of children for decades due to the failure of good people to report their suspicions. The best protection for our children remains the love and respect of the parents who remain vigilant, aware and educated to the risks. The vigilance, awareness and knowledge of our community, schools and social agencies expand that protection beyond the home. (See: National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children http://sapn.nonprofitoffice.com) That is not enough. We need stronger laws to protect children. The child sex abuse by clergy or coaches or teachers point to codifying in law what we know as morally true, namely, report child abuse. Making every person a mandatory reporter of child sex abuse should be made law. Regretfully, many in authority, like the officials in the Catholic Church or the top administration of Penn State, see their power, authority and prestige more important than protecting children. Another important legal issue for protecting children is the elimination of any time limit on reporting of child sex abuse. It took me over thirty years for me to come forward with the abuse I suffered at the hands of a priest when I was a child. This delay in reporting is true for many, if not most survivors of child sex abuse. It takes decades to come forward with memories of their abuse when as a child you have no resources to deal with the trauma. We want our children to grow and thrive to protect them from dangers that possibly can cripple them for life. We can enter a new era where parents are educated to risks, vigilant of the dangers, and knowledgeable of the steps to prevent child abuse creating a safer community for all.
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