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	Sex Abuse Survivor Speaks at Our Mother of Consolation The Catholics4change November 13, 2011 http://catholics4change.com/2011/11/13/1434/ On Monday night, November 7th, 2011, I had the great privilege of telling my story to members of Our Mother of Consolation Church in Chestnut Hill. There were four of us on the panel. The first speaker described her struggle to understand the current problems with in the church based on her education in religious studies. The second speaker detailed her personal friendships with two priests who were subsequently found guilty of sexual abuse toward children. Her tale of betrayal and deep sense of loss had given her a unique view into the charismatic qualities that seduce and deceive victims and the public. The third speaker was a counselor who treats sexual abuse survivors. I was the last speaker. Unlike those who preceded me, I chose to stand and deliver my 10 minute abuse summary. My speech included comments asking for support to change the statute of limitations, to open up a window to file law suits, and to go beyond thinking that this is only a problem that impacts the Catholic Church. Feeling an inner rage at the church for its impending assault on justice for all victims, I held up Monday's edition of the Philadelphia Inquirer which headlined Penn State's mishandling and cover-up of a head coach's sexual abuse of young boys that spans several decades. As I waved the paper in the air and punctuated my comments with great emphasis, my message was clear: All children must be kept safe and it is the responsibility of all adults to make sure this happens. During the questions and answer part of this program, several audience members used words such as "epidemic" and "pandemic." They, too, see that the real problem goes beyond anything having to do with the Church and for the Church to stand in the way of protecting and honoring the children of today and the children of yesterday, is nothing short of insensitivity, self-serving and even criminally complicate. As I said in my speech, I now have a voice and in using my voice, I continue to find pockets of people who want to hear what I have to say. While I was a bit disappointed in the small number of attendees, I was extremely pleased with their support and receptivity. While I would love to speak to a much larger crowd, I accept this small beginning and hope that other small pockets of people hold similar meetings so that eventually, those small, courageous pockets become a crowd that roars for justice, transparency, truth and honesty. A week before, I was honored to meet with 3 couples from St. Jerome's Parish in the Northeast. This parish has been especially hit hard with the scandal. As I told my story and interacted with these brave souls, my host and hostess made me feel safe and warm and welcomed in their home. Again a small pocket, a, beginning. This past Monday, the meeting was held in the rectory. It is a testimony to my recovery, that I was able to walk into the building, since some of the most horrendous abuse I endured was done in a rectory! As I write this I chuckle (again because of my recovery I can chuckle) as I no longer have any fear of such places or of the "authorities" who once abused me. I have my power back. I am no longer that scared kid, but an empowered adult. However, a more neutral place would be better as most survivors would probably have run for the hills if they were required to step back into the world where they experienced abuse. My appreciation goes to my new-found friends from St. Jerome's and the committee from Our Mother of Consolation who had the courage to open this topic up for a grass roots discussion. This was my opportunity to see that in denying and mishandling the sexual abuse cases over the decades, the Church has not only caused great pain and suffering for me, it has also left generations of people who now wander lost from their spiritual connection. From something that once was their oasis and connection to hope, there is now only the barrenness of the desert, with no clear pathway or direction. In Solidarity, Vicky
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