By Dave Krieger
Denver Post
November 10, 2011
http://www.denverpost.com/krieger/ci_19303066
 |
| Joe Paterno? |
The male caller to KOA radio was grateful for the topic, which was the sexual abuse of children by a man in a position of power and trust, in this case a former football coach at Penn State University who operated a charity for at-risk kids. Then he proceeded to tell his own story.
"So the same thing happened to me when I was 9 and 10. I was sexually abused. The two things that I learned, that this has all brought back to me, which are really hard, are, one, it happens all the time where institutions protect themselves and not the kids.
"That's what happened here. I'm 46 years old. I've been dealing with this for 36 years. The number of people who are kids who tell somebody this happened and adults say, 'Oh, I think you misunderstood,' or 'You didn't get it right,' or something like that, the amount of time that the kid is told they are wrong is shocking.
"And then the second point which leads from that is you're just so alone. You're so alone when this happens. You can't even go into your house. Mine happened with my father, and if you're not safe in your house, where are you safe?
"These kids went to this program by this guy and their parents just expect them to be safe and the kids expect to be safe. And you're kind of ruined from there. It's catastrophic."
The female caller who dialed in later also wanted to tell her story. This is something you hear a lot from victims of sexual assault — a deep sense of gratitude when the world turns off its reflexive denial, if only momentarily.
"I wanted to come at it from the point of being a victim of a sexual assault myself within a large institution, the Catholic Church," she said.
"And I really want to speak about the victims. (A previous caller) was saying you need to go to the police. It's very difficult. I was older, but my heart goes out to the youngsters because even at my age all of the people in my close circle don't know — my family members, lots of my friends. You keep it to yourself because of the shame that goes along with it, fear of retribution.
"I think large institutions like that do everything in their power to protect their image, protect their reputations, protect themselves monetarily. And it's a shame. Most 9-year-old kids don't have the fortitude to go forward, and most people don't even believe you. They kind of pooh-pooh it and say: 'No, that didn't happen. You're imagining it.'
"The ramifications are far and wide. And it's not just, obviously, sports institutions, as we've seen here in Denver."
Much of the conversation surrounding the scandal at Penn State has to do with Joe Paterno, the 84-year-old patriarch of the football program who announced Wednesday he would step down at the end of the season, then was fired hours later.
"This is a tragedy," Paterno said in a prepared statement. "It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more."
Really? Only in hindsight can he see that an eyewitness account of a sexual assault on a child nine years ago should have been greeted by more than a bureaucratic paper shuffle?
The effects of the scandal on Paterno's "legacy," and on Penn State, and on Penn State's football program, are all now subjects of vigorous debate. But that's the wrong place for the focus. Making it all about the institution, all about the icon, is how horrific stuff like this gets swept under the rug in the first place.
"I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to help this university," Paterno pledged.
Really? How about doing everything he can to help the victims of sexual assault? How about caring more about the powerless than the powerful?
It wasn't even a child's account that was ignored at Penn State. It was that of a 28-year-old graduate assistant. Made no difference.
"It happens all the time," the male caller explained. "My mom wouldn't listen. And that's what happens, is people protect the institutions. Because it's too hard, right? In a family situation, it's too mind-blowing that that can happen because then the family's not safe.
"Likewise, Happy Valley, honor, all this kind of stuff, it means nothing if people don't stand up and do what is right. The forces against children in this situation are remarkable. And I think we all are outraged by it for all the right reasons, but I tell you, it happens a lot."
So let's stop worrying about JoePa and the Nittany Lions and let's start worrying about the people who need our attention. For their sake, let's try to figure out why so often we choose wrong over right and institutions over people.
Dave Krieger: 303-954-5297, dkrieger@denverpost.com or twitter.com/DaveKrieger
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.