By Catherine Vonledebur
Coventry Telegraph
October 26, 2011
http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/lifestyle-news/your-life/2011/10/25/sue-cox-speaks-out-for-the-annual-survivors-of-catholic-clergy-abuse-92746-29657929/
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| Sue Cox has helped to set up Survivors Voice Europe for survivors of catholic clergy abuse. |
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AWARD-winning Warwickshire therapist Sue Cox was raped by a Catholic priest just before her confirmation. In the past year the mother-of-six has launched a European support group for survivors of clerical sexual abuse, been featured in a controversial Channel 4 documentary about the Pope and joined the first worldwide protest of survivors of abuse within the Roman Catholic church at the Vatican. She's in Rome again this weekend for the second Annual Survivors of Catholic Clergy Abuse Day, writes Catherine Vonledebur.
A YEAR ago Sue Cox stood in front of 200 people during a candlelit protest in Rome and described how she was raped by a priest in her bedroom at 13.
After becoming an alcoholic at 15, entering a violent marriage by 17 she was clean by 28, but admitted confronting the final piece of her recovery at 63 "was the hardest bit".
The acupuncturist and addiction counsellor, now aged 64, took part in the first worldwide demonstration near the Vatican by 200 survivors of childhood sexual abuse from 12 countries, including Italy, the US, Ireland, the Netherlands and Australia.
Wearing t-shirts reading: "Enough!" in English, Italian and German, the organisers demanded that the UN recognise the systematic sexual abuse of children as a crime against humanity.
The Vatican refused to let the marchers gather in St Peter's Square, but they instead gathered nearby.
It was organised by two Boston men, Bernie McDaid and Gary Bergeron, who were abused by the same priest while school students.
This week Sue is returning to Rome to attend the second Annual Survivors of Catholic Clergy Abuse Day on Saturday October 29, which she has helped to organise.
In a briefing before the march last year, Sue who lives in Gaydon, Warwickshire, stood up to speak out about how the abuse had destroyed her life.
She said: "For 50 years I thought I was the only person in the entire world that had been abused by a Catholic priest."
Sue corrected herself "raped by a Catholic priest, not abused, because what he did was rape me and rape is different".
"It's taken 50 years for me to find my voice. But now I've found it, I want to continue to speak on behalf of people who maybe aren't able to speak or have not yet been able to face the fear and the guilt and shame that survivors feel."
She said her adopted mother walked into the room immediately after it happened, but did nothing and instead told Sue to pray for the priest.
"She told me it was part of God's plan. I was completely lost and felt sacrificed. It put me on a self-destructive path. I became an alcoholic, self-harmed and developed an eating disorder. I did not trust anyone.
"The man who raped me smelt of stale whisky and sweat. I am very susceptible to bad smells. It haunts me.
"I found out he also abused at least one other girl I knew."
The priest in question has since died, and his order, the Sacred Heart Fathers, has paid Sue Cox £25,000 in compensation.
She said: "The compensation was not about the money but a moral victory. I wanted to make a difference and make it clear that my complaint went on record."
After 25 years together Sue told her husband Gez, an artist.
In an interview in The Guardian Sue said: "I told him I still didn't know which was worse – being betrayed by my church, or by my mother.
"Gez was horrified but I felt relieved; it was an enormous release. He didn't mind my not telling him earlier – I simply hadn't been able to get the words out. "
Sue's decision to speak out publicly coincided with a Lifetime Achievement Award by the Royal Society of Medicine in March last year.
As director of SMART – Substance Misuse and Addiction Acupuncture Register Sue has worked in the addiction treatment world for more than 30 years, and is a qualified addiction counsellor as well as an acupuncturist.
The SMART UK programme is used extensively throughout substance misuse services, many NHS hospitals and departments, all the major drug and alcohol charities and 112 UK prisons.
Sue said: "Suddenly people were asking me personal questions and I thought: 'I am going to say it. Now is the time'. I felt it was important for a professional like me to come out and talk about it. I was in a good position to highlight this cause.
When Pope Benedict XVI announced he was coming to Britain in 2010 Sue, who is now a buddist, became involved in protests against his visit.
"I took part in a Channel 4 documentary with human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell and a press conference where we demanded that the pope hand over all information on abusive clergy," she said. The Trouble with the Pope was broadcast on TV two days before the Pope's UK visit.
Sue said: "I was asked to speak at Conway Hall in London. There were around 20,000 people. I met people from other survivor organisations which I did not feel I wanted to join. The idea of being a victim appals me. I do not feel a victim. I am very much a survivor.
"Then I was approached by two Americans Bernie McDaid and Gary Bergeron – they had heard something I had said.
"They began Survivors Voice and they were planning to go to Rome for one weekend last October.
"I decided to go and that's where we all met. There were 200 of us including 60 former students of a Catholic institute for the deaf in Verona, who claim they were raped by priests. They were absolutely inspiring.
"It was the most life changing event. We lit candles and listened to music. There was a great deal of empathy between us. For survivors of abuse there is so much isolation and guilt."
Sue was one of several survivors to meet with Vatican spokesman the Rev Federico Lombardi at his office and tell him their stories.
She said: "The Papal spokesman arrived unexpectedly at the protest and wanted to read a prepared statement but was heckled and told 'no'."
After returning to the UK Sue set up Survivors Voice Europe with Ton Leerschool, a Dutch clerical abuse survivor who she had met in Rome.
It was launched on March 26 at Conway Hall in London with a protest march supported by Peter Tatchell and the US founders. Sue said: "I feel very strongly we are a survivor group not a victims' group. Creating Survivors Voice has been really cathartic. It can be painful, sometimes it can make me very tearful and can give me flashbacks. But the secrecy and guilt is far worse than speaking out about it."
In July 2011 Sue returned to Italy to support the 60 deaf former residents of the Antonio Provola Institute in Verona who she met earlier at the Rome event.
She said: "They wanted to organise a silent protest march. We put up banners and posters outside the institute and walked through the city single file holding on to a rope, which is how they used to walk through the city as tiny children.
"Afterwards we all went to eat together afterwards which was lovely. There is a real sense of family.
"We started to talk and these amazing stories came out. The stories are horrific but their dignity, bravery and humour makes you want to fight for them."
Let's Celebrate Our Survival
SUE Cox flies out to Italy this weekend to celebrate the second Annual Survivors of Catholic Clergy Abuse Day.
It will be held once again on October 28 and 29 in Rome.
The theme of the event is 'Let's Celebrate our Survival'.
Sue said: "Last October we were in Rome on the same weekend the Chilean miners were brought out of the ground and the world celebrated.
"At the same time we realised no-one celebrated our recovery. As children we were robbed of our youths, our self esteem, our future and the effects are still felt by those who share our lives but we recover.
"We will celebrate each life survived. There will be survivors from Italy, Holland, Ireland, Thailand, Australia, Alaska and the US."
On October 28 Sue is speaking at a Survivors Voice Europe conference – Science, Secularism, Religion – which is followed by an informal gathering on the Spanish Steps in Rome. Between 10am and 4pm on Saturday survivors will be sharing their stories; and between 4pm and 8pm meeting for a celebration gathering at Castel Sant'Angelo, near the Vatican.
Last October Italian photographer Silvia Amodio took photographs of more than 30 survivors, including Sue, for her Out of the Shadows project, published in the February edition of Italian Marie Claire and on the Survivors Voice website.
She will again be taking photographs.
Sue is writing an online diary of events as they unfold on her website www.survivorsvoice-europe.org
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