By Michael Gorman
The Chronicle-Herald
October 13, 2011
http://thechronicleherald.ca/NovaScotia/1268128.html
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| Alan Knockwood told the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada’s hearing in Indian Brook that it took years to come to terms with what happened to him in a residential school. (MICHAEL GORMAN / Truro Bureau) |
INDIAN BROOK — Alan Knockwood has struggled for many years trying to find peace.
It has been a difficult and long process dealing with the years he spent in a residential school, but Knockwood said he hopes he is finally on the right path.
"Thirty of those years I spent in a drunken haze, partly because I wanted to forget about what happened in the residential school," he told a hearing of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada on Wednesday.
"I thought about suicide, but I always had somebody at the right time come forward and help."
At the Shubenacadie Indian Residential School, Knockwood was once strapped so severely for speaking Mi’kmaq his hands swelled to the point where someone else had to feed him. To this day, trying to speak the language that he lost causes the back of his neck to tighten, said Knockwood. He is still expecting to feel the strap.
The commission is conducting hearings across the country to gather first-hand testimony about experiences — both positive and negative — from survivors of residential schools, family members of survivors and people who worked in the schools. The work is part of a settlement agreement between survivors, the federal government and the church.
The commission’s mandate goes until 2014, at which point a final report will be delivered and the information will be gathered and housed in a permanent collection. The commission’s chairman, Justice Murray Sinclair, said so much has been lost in Canada because of the denial of the growth of aboriginal cultures. Residential schools played a large role in that, he said.
Survivors took turns addressing the commission Wednesday in a gym in Indian Brook. The commission moves to Eskasoni on Friday and a larger event will happen in Halifax from Oct. 26 to 29.
David Nevin talked about an experience that happened when he was just a boy, but it is one that he still feels as though it happened yesterday.
Nevin vividly remembers being in the schoolyard when a nun grabbed a girl for speaking Mi’kmaq. Everyone was gathered in the school to watch as the nun made an example of the girl.
"They took this girl and they took this strap and they savagely beat hear," he said. "With each strap, they said ‘Speak English.’ "
Nevin said he remembers being afraid, but the girl, 13 or 14 he figured, stayed strong and would not give in.
"I’ve never forgot it and I don’t think I ever will."
For Frank Thomas, his time in the residential school has had a lasting impact on the way he views the church and government. Thomas also finds the idea of forgiveness or reconciliation difficult.
"They took our beliefs away from us in the same way that sweat lodges were outlawed. This was our way of praying to the Creator and giving Him thanks. But the black robe seen it the other way; they thought we were devil worshipers."
He said he has a difficult time seeing the logic in the church’s teachings, given what happened to him and so many others at residential schools across the country.
"Where does it say in the Ten Commandments that you shall abuse and molest native children in a residential school? These things have been going on a long time. They say forgive. You ask the Lakota Sioux to forgive (the Massacre) of Wounded Knee, see what happens when you ask them."
For Thomas, the legacy of the schools is one of loss and sorrow.
Countless people lost their language and connection with their culture. Many of the problems his people face today, such as drug abuse, poor housing conditions, poverty and a lack of clean drinking water, are in some way connected to the residential schools, he said.
What is needed, said Thomas, is a true account and acknowledgement of what happened. Only by returning to their roots can he and his people find the answers and help they need, he said.
"They took our culture, they took our language, they took our beliefs, but . . . one thing they never took away from me was my spirit, and they never will.
"I’m taking back my culture. I’m going to practise my culture. And may this commission understand that what our people went through is genocide."
Contact: mgorman@herald.ca
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