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	Church's 'Sorry' Not Enough,sex Abuse Victim Insists By Scott Grech Malta Independent August 7, 2011 http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=130048 Whenever Lawrence Grech looks at his wedding ring, he is overwhelmed with pride. Sadly, however, that same ring is also a stark reminder of his past. The priest who married Mr Grech and his wife was, in fact, the now defrocked Charles Pulis, who on Tuesday was jailed for six years after being found guilty of abusing nine boys, including Mr Grech, at St Joseph's Home in Ħamrun. Another priest, Fr Godwin Scerri, was also found guilty of sex abuse charges, and was sentenced to five years' imprisonment. "Mr Pulis had even baptised my children," Mr Grech says, with the ghost of a smile. "It wasn't easy, speaking out against the man who had raised me and who I would have described, prior to 2003, as the father I had never known. But when I finally realised that what he did to me was wrong and immoral, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "Who knows how many more kids he might have abused, had my friends and I not spoken out? In his police statement, Mr Pulis had admitted abusing up to eight boys, and added that the number could have even been higher. "Under oath, Mr Pulis even had the cheek and indecency to rhetorically ask the court how, if he were guilty of the sex abuse charges, could his conscience allow him to look me in the eye when he was marrying me? "He really tried every trick in the book to get himself free. "I now ask him another question: 'How can you live with yourself knowing that you did what you did?' When the Magistrate sentenced Mr Pulis and Fr Scerri to jail, they barely flinched. They knew deep down they were guilty," Mr Grech says. The events of the past few days were, for Mr Grech, the best birthday present he could have ever hoped for. "I will be 39 on Wednesday, and although they say life begins at 40, I'm looking forward to beginning this new chapter in my life a year earlier. After eight years of agonising court proceedings, I thought judgement day was never going to arrive. "It is only now that I feel believed. The first time I appeared on (TV programme) Bondiplus back in 2003, public opinion of me was divided. There were some who believed that what I was saying was true but others, mostly staunch Catholics and the elderly, looked at me as if I was some sort of villain, accusing me of saying what I was saying for money. "I would get stopped in the street and asked why I was giving all the details of what happened only now, years after the abuse took place. "Shortly after the story came out, I remember, one occasion when I received a call from a priest who asked me to meet him because he wanted to talk. "Moments after we met at the building where he lived, he ushered me into a room, and hurled all kinds of verbal abuse at me, accusing me of ruining the lives of the accused and doing everything for the money. I ran away and never spoke to him again. Needless to say, I doubt he'll call to apologise, now that it has been proved that I was right after all," he comments. Celebrations after the verdict was announced last Tuesday were rather low key, with Mr Grech and his friends sharing a quick coffee together before heading back home share their joy with their loved ones. He then logged on to Facebook to gauge the public's reaction over the whole issue and felt proud that most of his online friends agreed that justice had prevailed. His mobile phone has not stopped ringing since last Tuesday, and he estimates that on average, he's receiving up to 30 phone calls a day from well-wishers. Although he is ready to bury the past, Mr Grech wants the Church to realise that a mere 'sorry' is not enough. "If I force myself into your home and steal all your treasured belongings, practically destroying you, only to come back a few years later to tell you I'm sorry, I don't think that my actions would be justified simply because I am now aware that I made a mistake. "I was deeply hurt and affected by what I was forced to go through in my childhood. But I feel that I am not as broken by what happened as some of my friends are. I've moved on, with success I think. I've married, fathered children and opened up my own business. But when I meet some of my friends who also went through the same experience, they're still deeply affected and need more help. "The Church should not apologise just to us, but to the whole of the Maltese population, who have always cherished and trusted the Church. Many more people, apart from us victims, have been hurt by what happened. I know people who are asking whether the Church, after hearing of all the sordid and disgusting acts that have taken place and that have destroyed a lot of people, can ever be trusted again. "Who knows? The Church has a long way to go to earn the peoples' trust back" Mr Grech says. He acknowledges, however, that apart from the Church, the state also has an important role to play in helping the victims move on. "Taking myself as an example, I was brought up by the nuns of the Ursuline Crèche as a young child, before moving on to St Joseph's Home when reaching adolescence, where I stayed till I was 18. "But once you reach 18, you're asked to leave. The time comes where you're asked to put all your belongings in one bag and go and fend for yourself. "A lot of orphans find this hard to handle, which is why they end up in prison or dabble in vices such as drugs, alcohol and gambling. This is a national problem which has, perhaps, never been fully tackled. Are there enough social carers, psychiatrists and other professionals to help these people, to ensure that their foray into adulthood is not traumatic?" he asks. The guilty priests also had a chance to say 'sorry' in court, but never did. "Never once did they look any of us in the eye. In court, they acted rather arrogantly, too. I remember on one occasion, the Magistrate asked one of the accused to sit down properly, before scolding him and asking him: 'Where do you think you are'. "I'm sure that the other accused, Brother Bonett, would have also been found guilty, had he not died recently. After all, he admitted to having sex with one of the victims in his police statement. "Brother Bonett happened to be barely two metres away from me in court on one occasion. He had a chance to apologise there and then for all he did all those years ago, but he simply refused to look me in the eye. "For me, his death means he conveniently escaped justice. Nevertheless, he now awaits a different kind of verdict for his past deeds – this time, however, not in front of a magistrate, but in front of God," Mr Grech said. His bitterness towards the Church is unlikely to diminish any time soon. "Eight years after we raised our voices, only the Archbishop bothered to contact us to meet him. No other member of the clergy has since volunteered to meet us and help ease the trauma of our childhood. "What really annoyed me in court, but also saddened me, was that several priests were called to testify as witnesses, and all of them, under oath, defended the accused. "One priest in particular, Fr Silvio Bezzina, who in 2003 was the Director of St Joseph's Home, said while under oath that I was paying the other victims money to lie against the priests. "When the Magistrate asked Fr Bezzina if he could prove this, he remained mum. This was the same priest who appeared next to me on Bondiplus in 2003, voicing his support and admitting that we victims needed more support and help. "This was the same Fr Bezzina who, after I coincidentally walked past St Joseph's Home at the end of 2003 and popped my head around the door, ordered me to leave immediately," Mr Grech says. Since this incident with Fr Bezzina, Mr Grech has never bothered returning to the home where he was brought up. "Thanks to us, the running of St Joseph's Home has improved greatly. It is being run mostly by care workers and social workers, and not one priest is in contact with children. "But we can't help but feel forgotten. I remember spending a few minutes watching the Oħloq Tbissima marathon on TV last month, which was held at St Joseph's, and wondering whether the organisers would ever bring themselves to call us and invite us on to the programme. I doubt it". What next for Lawrence Grech? "I'm in the process of writing a book, which will be published in both English and Maltese, to give a clearer idea of what it felt like for a person to grow up in a home alone and abused and without any help. I want to give a more accurate description of what my friends and I went through, since there's still a lot that hasn't yet been made public. "You'd be surprised how many times I've been stopped in the street by people telling me that they were also sexually abused as children. "I honestly feel that there's a big problem of physical and sexual abuse in Malta, most of which remains swept under the carpet. "Victims should not feel afraid of speaking out. They are not the villains – it is their perpetrators who are," he says, as he holds on to that wedding ring. They said... Louise Vella On 10 June 2006, I met Archbishop Mercieca at the Curia in Floriana. His PRO had called me a few days previously. He told me that the archbishop wanted to meet me regarding the several letters I had been sending to the press about paedophile priests. We had been hearing of clergy abuse scandals in dioceses abroad and I kept wondering how the Maltese bishops dealt with abusive Maltese priests. The archbishop had a blue file, with my name on it. I guess that the file contained the letters I had sent to newspapers. I believe that the Archbishop was troubled by the letters I was writing and he probably sought to silence me. During the meeting, which lasted well over an hour, the case of Godwin Scerri was brought up. I asked the archbishop why he had posted Godwin Scerri as a spiritual director to the Girls Secondary School in Rabat, when he knew that Godwin Scerri was allegedly implicated in a child sexual abuse case in Canada. I also invited him to tell me how he thinks the girls who spoke in confidence to Godwin Scerri were feeling after they learnt of his involvement in the St Joseph Home case. Archbishop Mercieca told me that Godwin Scerri kept denying any wrong doing. I then asked him if he had requested a report from the police in Canada. However, the archbishop said that, for him, the denial of Godwin Scerri was enough. Enough with apologies! Apologies do little to heal the pain. The public is exasperated with the endless apologies and failures by bishops, archbishops and cardinals to face up to this issue honestly. Too often they have been revealed as having been more concerned about the scandal and its impact on the Catholic Church than with the needs, concerns and interests of the victims. The bishops are now expressing many words of sorrow. Indeed they are sorry they have been caught and now have to face the music. The time for remorse and yawn-inducing meaningless apology is over. The time for saying 'sorry' is long past. People are, by right, suspicious and no amount of apologies will rebuild damaged trust. Hollow words do little to stop the nightmares, to bring back the lost years and to repair the damage of those years. Urgent action is what is needed now. Every now and then we hear apologies and expressions of regret from the bishops. However, they are not willing to open up to the legal authorities the files on offenders abusing those in their care so that the perpetrators can be punished. Bishops and other religious leaders think that sexual abuse by priests is just a terrible sin that needs to be hidden and treated secretly. They must understand that clerical sexual abuse is a disgusting violation of the law and must be dealt with by the law of the land and not canon law. Bishops Cremona and Grech must come up urgently with a full and public accounting of what has occurred over the years. We want the names and localities of Maltese priest child molesters. We want our bishops to be completely transparent and to tell us the whole truth about how they have been dealing with the clergy abuse scandal over the years. I strongly urge Prime Minister Gonzi to set up an independent commission to enquire if criminal behaviour has occurred, or is occurring, in Malta by the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church is not in a special category that should be exempted and protected from legal action. The police should immediately confiscate all papers on abusive priests hidden in the Curia's secret archives. It beggars belief that the government seems to condone this atrocious behaviour by the Catholic Church. We cannot just sit idly by and hope that bishops do the right thing, because they will not. The archbishop still consciously continues to shield from public exposure and police investigation priests who abuse children. Silence and secrets are the fuel of sexual abuse and we just need the secrecy to stop and the focus to be on protecting children in every way possible. We expect the bishops to tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Dr Frank Portelli These priests have shattered our faith. "It would be better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he be cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones." Nigel Holland Last June I was once again invited to attend the Mission Sunday celebrations at the Church of the Holy Cross in Floriana, that is, the Capuchin church. Amongst the concelebrants were various monks who have been serving in the Maltese Capuchin missions in Kenya for 30 or even 40 years. At the end of the Mass, they were invited to recount their experiences in the missions which are not centred around the spiritual care of those they encounter, but in building schools and hospitals and generally providing for the material needs of these people, whether Christian or not. I couldn't help admiring their courage and sense of sacrifice because although well past normal retirement age, all they wanted was to be back soon in Kenya to continue their work, with all the dangers and privations that this entails. The presence of Father Joe Alessandro was in case in point, as he had been shot at by bandits in Kenya and is lucky to be still with us today. All through this, I felt sorry for these totally dedicated missionaries as I couldn't help thinking about those priests or religious, in contrast, who by their utterly scandalous and criminal behaviour have tarnished the reputation of thousands of unselfish and devoted consecrated men and women and have undermined so much good that these has carried out and are still carrying out all over the world in various spheres of life. These child abusers, in Malta and abroad, have not only inflicted untold damage on the children under their care, for which they should pay to the full as these children, now adults, have suffered the most and their well-being is the foremost priority, but they have also shamed and hurt the Church (which is not only the bishops and priests but us as well) and particularly their former 'colleagues', who entered the ministry with the sole intention, albeit with the inevitable human weaknesses which each and everyone of us possesses, of being of service to their fellow men. These child abusers should, first and foremost, ask for an unconditional forgiveness from their vulnerable victims, whose trust they so shamefully betrayed, and then forgiveness also from their former 'colleagues' whom they have let down so badly. From the hierarchy and people of authority in the Church, ecclesiastical or leaders of lay movements, one expects that – now the lesson has been learnt – a zero tolerance policy is adopted with regard to any form of criminal activity, foremost amongst which is child abuse, by any of its members occupying a position of trust in the Church and action is taken strongly and expeditiously. If those in authority in the Church prove that they are ready to take the necessary immediate action if and when somebody indulges in criminal activity whilst exercising, occupying and thereby abusing a position of trust within the same Church, then the Church will regain the full trust of all people of goodwill and will continue its spiritual and social mission in society as it has done for centuries on end.in the Roman Catholic Church. It had been so throughout the reign of Pope John-Paul II, and continues to be so under the current Papacy. The Minister for Justice in Malta, in my view, is clearly required to take concrete action and protect children in Malta. Otherwise the Maltese people should vote him out and make clear to the Vatican that Malta is a sovereign nation, and Maltese law takes precedence over Vatican decrees. William Flynn Impeach the bishops and their so-called Ecclesiastical Court and its judge. There should be only one law in the Democratic Republic of Malta. Fire Canon Law. The bishops, their response team and their judge are giving Malta and every Maltese the reputation of being a haven for child rapist priests. If Parliament doesn't take immediate steps to bring the bishops and their co-conspirators in front of a court to face justice, we deserve this reputation. Get on to your emails, Facebook, phone, fax, whatever and start screaming your indignation to your MPs so they can get the message that the Maltese people will not have the bishops and their cohorts bring the indignation and anger of the world on us and our country. Get your MP to table a motion in Parliament to get a judicial enquiry happening. We have to show clerical criminals, who believe that the raping of children is a sin that can be unilaterally absolved by them alone, that child rape and/or its concealment is a crime that attracts a jail sentence. Protecting child-raping priests is vile and if we do nothing, we are as vile as they are.
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