Questions to Ask Yourself before Disclosing, Confronting or Going Public, by Vicki Polin, The Examiner, April 25, 2011

Questions to Ask Yourself before Disclosing, Confronting or Going Public

By Vicki Polin
The Examiner
April 25, 2011

http://www.examiner.com/sexual-abuse-in-chicago/questions-to-ask-yourself-before-disclosing-confronting-or-going-public-about-s

Should I go public?

WARNING: Survivors of various forms of sexual violence (childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, clergy sexual abuse, professional sexual misconduct and sexual harassment) often want to disclose their experiences, confront their perpetrators, and/or speak-out about their victimization. This is done in an attempt to try to help educate the public. Often the urge to share personal information about one self occurs during various stages of healing.

If you are considering speaking out PLEASE review the many questions listed in this pamphlet. You may also want to refer to "The Courage to Heal" (by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass) and "The Courage to Heal Workbook" (by Laura Davis). It is also highly suggested that you consult with your family, friends and or therapist prior to speaking engagements.

Unfortunately, the reality is that our society has NOT been very accepting and/or understanding to the various issues faced by many adult survivors of sexual violence. The majority of the survivors who have confronted individuals, and/or have gone public -- shared that they had negative experiences after sharing their abuse histories with others. These survivors have all been met with disbelief -- been considered to be crazy, hysterical and/or delusional. Too often survivors state that after the disclosures, they felt that they have lost a level of credibility.

We, as survivors can not be responsible for the reactions of others. What we can do is take control of our actions and be prepared for the outcome if we decide to share our histories with others. It is vital for each individual decide for him/her self, and be sure that they are not being pressured to going public. This is a reminder that once you share information about yourself -- you can NOT take it back!

If you thinking about going public, it is important to consider how you are going to do it.

Are you going to use your real name or a pseudonym?

Will you wear a disguise of some sort?

Will you be paid? How much?

If you are going on television will the producer of the show agree in writing to use a computer and distort both your voice and face (this is strongly suggested for the beginner)?

Will you have to sign a contract or an agreement? What will it say? It is strongly suggested you read the agreement BEFORE the day you are supposed to speak-out (and if possible have an attorney review it too)!

Will your attempt to educate the public cause harm to your credibility? Are you allowing yourself to be exploited?

Will it hurt you in your present or future career, social life, family life (including your spouse and children)?

The Following are some questions you can ask yourself to help you make up your mind if disclosing, confronting and/or going public is right for you.