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	It’s a Start but Male Sex Abuse Survivors Need More Support By Joe Belanger London Free Press April 16, 2011 http://www.lfpress.com/comment/2011/04/15/18010831.html They’ve never really had a chance and, despite the new dollars and supposed sense, they still don’t. That’s the fate of thousands of male survivors of sexual abuse who struggle daily to survive, haunted by memories of abuse that stole their childhoods and now living self-­medicated lives addicted to booze and drugs, or both. They’re still trying to contain pent-up rage but, too often, give way to violence and mistrust that leads to broken marriages and broken lives, not just for themselves but for the people they love. Too often, unable to cope, they simply take their own lives hoping for a better world in the hereafter. Our prisons are filled with these men. The province unveiled a new, two-year, $2.2-million plan to assist these victims — money spread over dozens of agencies in regions across the province, an average of $19,000 per agency per year. No question the province is at least trying to do something for these men, whose plight has been ignored by society for decades, hidden by walls of secrecy and denial of their suffering. Mount Cashel orphanage, the Cornwall inquiry, residential schools, the Swales brothers of London and the lawsuits that followed by dozens of other men, especially against the Roman Catholic church which ignored complaints, or moved and hid priests accused of preying on young boys: They all remind us how these men continue to be victimized to this day. Yeah, all these abused boys who did seek justice were told to “act like a man” or “forget about it” or, worse, accused of lying about the priests, parents, grandparents, uncles, teachers, coaches and others sexually abusing them. Many chose to suffer in silence. Gender is a key issue why men haven’t got or sought the help they need and it still is today, judging by the lack of help. Yes, the provincial funding is a serious and, I’d suggest, sincere acknowledgement of the need to help male survivors of sexual abuse. But it’s only a trickle of funding. If men want more, they are going to have to fight for it, just like the women did and continue to do. “You start somewhere and you see where the demand is. This is an estimate of what will be required,” said Chris Bentley, attorney general and London West MPP, who defended the new system while hinting the funding could rise as demand rises. Bentley said the agencies were chosen based on their ability to help survivors. Somehow, with perverse irony, Bentley and others think the Roman Catholic church can help. For instance, the Men’s Project in Ottawa, a counselling centre many consider the role model for its work with male survivors, was rejected as the lead agency overseeing regional services. No, that job went to a Catholic-based agency. Then there are the sexual assault centres that for decades ignored these men — and rightly so — to focus on women, that are now getting the funding, despite objections from some male survivors who say women’s centres are ill-suited and have mostly been unwilling to help in the past. The new funding amounts to about $215,000 a year for each region while a provincewide crisis line will receive about $150,000 a year, the programs expected to be in place by summer. Bonnie Williams, executive director of London’s Daya Counselling Centre, which helps 22 men a year and last summer had a six-month waiting list, said these men will get services faster. Let’s hope so. On the positive side, the funding does mean men in areas where no services were once available will have access, which is good because so many of these victims live in remote, rural or isolated areas where their abusers could abuse beneath the radar. But what happens to the Men’s Project, or Hearing, Healing, Hope in Owen Sound, which spends about $75,000 a year helping a caseload of about 50 male victims and another 20 family members? Do they survive? “The amount of funding doesn’t even scratch the surface of what is needed,” John Swales, a London survivor and advocate who, with his brothers successfully sued the church and won a settlement about a decade ago. Of course, Swales is probably right. But if there is any comfort it’s the fact the province is doing anything at all. No, it’s not too little, too late. It’s something. It is a beginning. And now I’d suggest it could mean enough men will get enough help so they, like women before, can start demanding more. Perhaps, they’ll get a little helping hand from the women. As John Swales told me so many years ago: “Look, it’s not about women or men. It’s about victims.” Contact: joe.belanger@sunmedia.ca
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