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	Woman Seeks Celibacy Debate By Claudia Melendez Salinas Redlands Daily Facts April 7, 2011 http://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/sanbernardinocounty/ci_17789838 In the wake of revelations that Nancy Kotowski, the Monterey County superintendent of schools, held a long-term intimate relationship with a priest, she said Wednesday that she hopes the Catholic Church would open a dialogue about its requirement for celibacy. Kotowski, 59, said she ended about three years ago the "physical aspect" of a 30-year relationship with the Rev. Mike Manning, a Catholic priest in San Bernardino who is also her second cousin. Their relationship became publicly known Wednesday after The Sun and The Herald published excerpts of emails between the two. Manning has taken a leave of absence from his ministry, a spokesman for the Diocese of San Bernardino confirmed Wednesday. Kotowski said the emails correspond to a period when it was time to decide whether Manning would leave the priesthood so they could get married or go their separate ways. "We're soul mates, and in any human relationship, especially one of over 30 years, you reach a decision-making point, and our relationship reached that point," Kotowski said. Kotowski balks at media descriptions of her relationship with Manning as an "affair" as it was almost a life-long commitment. "It's a 30-year-old relationship of love for one another. That's what it was," she said. Kotowski and Manning, 70, are cousins on her mother's side and did not grow up together, she said. Manning left for the seminary when he was 14 - when she would have been about 3 years old. Kotowski attended Manning's ordination and first Mass, but their paths did not cross again until Kotowski was in her late 20s. They then became good friends, she said. Both families know of their relationship and have even welcomed them in family gatherings, she said. "My family knows him and loves Father Mike. My family knows of our closeness and our relationship, and they're very happy we have each other on our life journey. They know we're kindred spirits and soul mates." They are now embracing celibacy, Kotowski said, because she supports Manning's calling. "It's a struggle, but we know God is calling to us so we honor that," she said. Kotowski would not say how long the physical aspect of her relationship lasted, or whether she's had other long-term relationships. She has never married and has no children. Kotowski said she's not concerned with how the revelations of her relationship with Manning will play out as she feels she has done nothing wrong or illegal. "My hope is that will open up a dialogue in the Catholic Church about celibacy," she said. "The reality is that we love the church, we're committed to the church, but I'm hoping a dialogue will open up (about) obligatory celibacy, the whole question of celibacy. Is it right for all people?"
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