BishopAccountability.org
	Woman Claims Priest Crossed Boundaries, Abused Authority By Francesca Vella Malta Independent March 20, 2011 http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=122201 A woman who was married to an eastern European has claimed that a priest in a senior position at the Archbishop’s Curia, who she thought she could trust, had abused his priestly office and his behaviour had led to the breakdown of her marriage. Anne* explained that she was stunned when she found out that while she was dating Nicolai*, the priest shared a flat with him and another young foreign male and used to keep asking her boyfriend for body massages. She said she has spoken to Archbishop Emeritus Joseph Mercieca, pastoral secretary Mgr Charles Cordina, Gozo Bishop Mario Grech, senior Curia official Mgr Anton Gouder and even Archbishop Paul Cremona about the case. Although she was repeatedly told that nothing could be done and no action could be taken against the priest, whose name is not being disclosed at this stage, Mgr Cremona promised that her case would be investigated immediately after last year’s papal visit, but she has heard nothing from the Archbishop’s Curia since. When asked whether the Curia had looked into the matter at all, a spokesman simply said that it is the Curia’s policy not to discuss individual cases. The Curia has also failed to get back to this newspaper following its requests to verify Anne’s statements about her meetings with Curia officials, including her meeting with Mgr Cremona (details further down). Anne explained that she was introduced to her estranged husband – a fitness instructor, masseur and former Balkan bodybuilding champion – about eight years ago. They had started dating and Anne was eventually introduced to a friend of his who was a priest. “My boyfriend had told me that he had a great admiration for this priest and that he was like a father to him.” Nicolai told her how the priest had helped him with irregularities in his documents after his arrival in Malta and had eventually restructured his entire life, baptising and confirming him in the Catholic faith and settling him into a job and a new apartment. She recalled that on one occasion her boyfriend was taken to Gozo by the priest and another priest who belonged to the same religious order. Nicolai later explained how they had taken him to a party organised by the fellow priest’s family and how both priests had encouraged him to go out with a girl who happened to be the second priest’s niece. The priests had told him that the family was wealthy and the girl’s father was ready to set up a business for him if he agreed to enter into a relationship with her. He told Anne he did not feel attracted to the girl and said it was not the first time the two priests had put forward this proposal to him. Anne said she was shocked, especially since this was coming from priests. They acted as though they were trading in cattle, she said, adding that both priests knew Nicolai was already in a relationship with her. She said she had a particularly strong Catholic education and had never had any reason to doubt priests or question the Church’s authority. She had always trusted blindly, she said. The priest friend of her boyfriend seemed genuine initially, spending time gaining her trust and confidence. When Anne confronted the priest with what her boyfriend had told her, he denied it, saying he was always there to help her in their relationship, that he was like a father to Nicolai and that he was the only family he had in Malta. They were engaged nine months later by the same priest. However, over the next few months she was disturbed by what slowly began to surface about her boyfriend’s relationship with the priest and she became painfully aware of what kind of ‘fathering’ Nicolai had been receiving from him. Talking about the flat the priest shared with her boyfriend and another young foreign male, Anne said the priest paid part of the rent and had his own key to the flat. The other young foreigner had eventually moved out. Anne said: “The priest had told Nicolai he didn’t get on well with the other priests in his community and had problems with them.” Explaining that her boyfriend was a masseur, she said the priest used to get him clients, but he also used to keep asking for body massages and would later shower in her boyfriend’s flat. He used to tell her boyfriend that he was “spiritually gifted”, that he had “healing potential” in his touch and that he was “special”. “Once my boyfriend shaved off the priest’s body hair… I felt my stomach churn,” she said, recalling how the priest had accused her of being narrow-minded and jealous. She expressed her hurt and deep disgust to her boyfriend and asked him to stop giving the priest massages and refuse to give in to his incessant demands. Her boyfriend told her how, on one occasion, he had found the priest sitting stark naked in an aromatherapy bath in the hotel spa in which he worked, chatting to a female therapist who was looking on. “He [the boyfriend] told me guests were asked to wear swimwear in the spa. I felt nauseous listening to him relate what happened. My boyfriend was scandalised as he said he could see everything through the water.” Anne explained that, as the relationship with her boyfriend developed, the priest became increasingly controlling and his demands to have her boyfriend around him became persistent. The priest had managed to get Nicolai in a position of total surrender and dependency on him. Nicolai complained about the priest not giving him any personal space or time with her and it started to mess him up psychologically. “With tears in his eyes, my boyfriend begged to move in with me, telling me that the priest was trying to control him and wanted to break up our relationship. I was totally confused. “I never really understood the incredible hold he had over my boyfriend until it was too late – I never understood who or what I was dealing with.” They planned to get married overseas, as Anne did not want the priest to marry them. And yet she could not shake him off. The priest started interfering in their marriage plans and he got his own way when he announced that he was the priest who would be marrying them as, by coincidence, he was also planning to be away at the same time as them, holidaying in the same country. She said that within days of coming back from their honeymoon the priest was back on the scene, tenaciously fighting for control of her husband’s life once again. Pointing to a massage parlour in Paceville, he had told her: “That’s what I want Nicolai to open, but something less conspicuous”. The priest’s constant presence around them was causing arguments between Anne and Nicolai, and in a moment of anger and utter despair, she once shouted: “I don’t need a priest between my bed sheets! Tell him to leave us alone and let us live our life!” The priest tightened his grip on Nicolai, as his psychological state deteriorated and his communication with her started to break down. The priest did absolutely nothing to help in their marriage and did everything possible to undermine their relationship further. Nine months into their marriage, when Anne confronted the priest, he tore her to pieces in a frantic fit of uncontrollable hysteria, screaming at her: “Love fizzles out and dies… the Church advocates separation. Stop trying to be the saviour of the world! Put your house in order”. In another heated confrontation with the priest, Anne told him he was a disgrace to the priesthood and again told him to let go of her husband. Nicolai abandoned their matrimonial home overnight and went into hiding. It was just days before their first wedding anniversary. Neighbours explained how he had come in a van while she was at work and emptied the flat of all his belongings. Later, she found a pair of tracksuit trousers he had left behind with the name of the priest stitched on. When she got in touch with the Provincial Father of the Order to which the priest belonged, he tried to excuse the priest’s actions and then tried to silence her by threatening to take legal action against her if she ‘lied about abuse’. She told the Provincial Father that she was asking about the priest’s sexual orientation, but he was clearly not going to cooperate and his only concern was to cover up for the priest. Anne eventually found out that the priest’s family, the Provincial Father and the second priest (from the Gozitan family) had worked hand-in-hand to keep her husband’s whereabouts hidden, to provide him with the accommodation he needed and to keep everything hushed up. She tried to keep in touch with Nicolai by phone and to get him psychiatric help, but he was not allowed to see any doctor. He became verbally abusive, calling her a whore and saying the priest was going to crush her and pay her back. Nicolai screamed things like: “Women are the root of all evil” and quoted the priest as telling him: “Better not get married than get married and lose your soul”. He was eventually fired from his job, and at the beginning of 2006 he moved to Gozo, where he has lived ever since. Anne said she had trusted the priest, believing him to be genuinely interested in her husband’s well-being and in helping them build a loving and lasting future together. But his enthusiasm and keen interest in their relationship, engagement and marriage were a total sham. She claimed that the Provincial Father and the second priest had both collaborated with the priest to destroy their relationship by acting manipulatively, deceptively and maliciously. “I was accused of throwing my husband out of our matrimonial home and of being mentally depraved. The priest’s family testified to that too, to give credence to the claim made. “The priests’ actions are a direct attack on the sanctity and reputation of the priesthood. I told the Church authorities that what these priests have done is inhumane, devious and despicable. These are not priests; these are wolves in sheep’s clothing.” When Anne spoke to Archbishop Emeritus Joseph Mercieca, he denied having given the priest permission to baptise or confirm her husband into the Catholic faith. He said he knew nothing about it. He listened to her story and kept asking her what she wanted from him. She explained that she was asking him to stop the priest from wrecking her marriage and to let go of her husband. He took note of her husband’s name but nothing was done about it. Anne turned to the Pastoral Secretary, documenting the entire story, and asked him to talk to Archbishop Paul Cremona and see what could be done. But the Pastoral Secretary informed her that there was nothing they could do. He said to her: “I worry about you because one would not know the kind of hold he [the priest] has on him [Nicolai]”. She also went to Gozo and met Gozitan Bishop Mario Grech, who told her he knew her husband personally and knew he was in Gozo. Although he told Anne there was nothing he could do, Mgr Grech said he would phone the Pastoral Secretary to see what was being done. Mgr Grech became emotional as he told her that being a bishop was not easy. The Pastoral Secretary never got in touch. Anne went to another senior official at the Curia, Mgr Anton Gouder, who took her documents and got her to sign them again, but later told her that nothing could be done. Anne also wrote personally to Archbishop Cremona and eventually met him just before Pope Benedict came to Malta last April. He told her that steps would be taken to remove the priest from being in contact with young men if he had a homosexual orientation. Mgr Cremona promised that her case would be forwarded immediately after the Pope’s departure and he apologised for the delay. The priest in question was given a prominent role during the papal visit; he featured widely in the media and was allowed close contact with the Pope. He retains the position to which he was appointed in May 2005. A year has now passed since Anne met Mgr Cremona, but she has heard nothing at all from the Curia. *The names of the people involved in this case have been changed to protect their identity. The priest’s name is not being disclosed at this stage.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.