BishopAccountability.org
	Conforming, Reforming, Transforming Healing and Spirituality March 17, 2011 http://www.jaimeromo.com/blog/archives/356 There’s an expression, ‘it’s not that we don’t see the solution; it’s that we don’t see the problem.’ Some people are beginning to see the serious problems of clergy abuse and institutional cover up clearly. We’ve seen horrific abuse in the Boy Scouts, in the Mormon church, in the Baptist Church– everywhere. It’s not just a Catholic thing. Some are beginning to see other kinds of sexual abuse as a serious problem. However, some have said that sadly, when Oprah pointed out through her episode, “200 men,” that highlighted male sexual abuse that child sexual abuse became more visible or even more legitimate of an issue. And to these obvious issues, the solutions are clear: end abuse; prevent abuse; believe people when they come forward; educate parents and teachers and everyone about prevention and intervention. I think what we don’t see is that the people who are involved in carrying out the solution are also contributing to the problem. Clearly, there is ongoing repetition of clergy abuse perpetuation, as the Philadelphia cases show. That would be a kind of ‘conforming’ to the pattern of institutional denial and unconscious incompetency. This is an example of being stuck: I’m used to acting this way. It fits who I am. The situation calls for me to react this way. What’s the problem? I don’t have one. There’s also a forced kind of change that might qualify as an early stage of ‘reforming,’ as demonstrated by the recent decision in the L.A. drama to finally release church files. This condition of the ‘settlement’, which prevented the public from hearing the gruesome testimony of hundreds of survivors, continues to be fought by church attorneys. We can only hope that these leaders and defenders of institutions will begin self questioning and recognize a need to stop reacting this way. It’s pointless. I imagine that at some point, this way of behaving will no longer feel right. I hope that church leaders and followers see that if there is ever going to be real change, these old habits have to go, as illustrated by the recent Voice of the Faithful statement. We need transforming by church leaders and followers, by survivors and supporters. I look for examples of church leaders doing something new: seeking change. One example of this may be a first in any church history. The Southern California/ Nevada United Church of Christ board recently adopted the following resolution. Resolution of Support on SAFE CHURCH AND HEALING COMMUNITES Whereas, the safety and well being of all God’s children is of utmost importance and concern in our life and our service as the Church body of Christ; And whereas, all forms of abusive behavior and especially sexual behavior, exacts immeasurable spiritual, psychological, and physical costs in terms of suffering, human potential, social stability, and damage to the credibility and commission of all churches; And whereas, an estimated thirty-nine million people, alone, in the United States have experienced sexual abuse in some form; And whereas, we , as an instrument of Christ’s compassionate peace, are called as a Church body to create environments and communities in which victims of abusive behavior can find support and healing; And whereas, we, as an instrument of Christ’s justice, are called as a Church body to prevent abuse and abusive behavior and to deal with and resolve directly and fairly instances of abuse should such arise in our communities; Be it resolved, that the Board of Directors of the Southern California Nevada Conference recommends the provision within the Conference of an educational program of direct curricular study and resource availability to furnish and support: 1) the development, creation, and assessment of safe church policy at the congregational, association, and conference levels; 2) the creation and maintenance of healthy and healing church communities and environments at the congregational, association, and conference levels; and 3) the development of a safe church and healthy and healing communities support network.” We have a long way to go, and this is closer to transforming than conforming or ‘reforming’ as this is a ‘congregational’ or ‘flat governance’ model. This is a great first step, perhaps an historic step—a small step for a cohort of churches, a giant step for those who identify as religious institutions. I applaud this group of leaders: clergy and lay people, survivors and supporters working together. Jaime Romo, Ed.D. works with survivors, supporters, and parents to protect children from abuse and live and learn in healthy environments. His most recent books are: “Healing the Sexually Abused Heart: A Workbook for Survivors, Thrivers, and Supporters;” “Parents Preventing Abuse;” and “Teachers Preventing Abuse.” For more information, see http://www.jaimeromo.com
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