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	What Is "Reasonable" for a Sexually Abused Child? By Mark Crawford Daily Progress January 31, 2011 http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/2011/jan/30/what-reasonable-sexually-abused-child-ar-810480/?referer=None&shorturl=http://dailyprogress.com/ar/810480/ I was very disappointed to learn that some Virginia lawmakers have bought into the argument made by the Virginia Catholics Conference’s executive director and lawyer Jeff Caruso, that eight years is a “reasonable” amount of time for one to seek justice for having been sexually victimized as a child. He is partially correct; it is reasonable for the institution that harbored, hid and protected such employees who molested children. But it is way too short a time to recognize the impact sexual abuse imposes upon a child. Victims of sexual assault must deal with lifelong consequences, the damage is extensive and the recovery process extremely arduous. When victims finally make the connection between their abuse history and the damage that has been done, only then can they begin to understand the indelible marks and deep emotional scars such victimization instills. The physical wounds will eventually fade away, but the emotional scars are a lifelong sentence. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, shame, guilt, anxiety, sleeping disorders, sexual confusion or dysfunction, inability to trust others, alcohol, and drug or sexual addictions are just a few of the consequences. Under Virginia law, the right to sue is conveyed — and the deadline starts ticking — when the victim reaches 18 or when he recognizes the damage done to him or her. As a victim who has been open about my abuse for some time, I can tell you that there is no single point in time that I have understood — in full — the extent of the injuries caused to me. The injury of child sexual abuse manifests over an entire lifetime. If at all possible, think about how being sexually abused as a child would have impacted you when you first started dating. The first time you were intimate with someone. How it impacted you on your wedding night. How it impacted you when your first child was born, when that child was baptized, had his first holy communion, was confirmed, or began dating. Imagine sitting at your computer 40 years later and coming across the face of the man who sexually abused you as a child — a man you reported and were led to believe was “dealt with,” but who, as you learn through news stories, was simply moved and went on to abuse countless other boys. Imagine the guilt you would feel, the sense of responsibility you carry after learning your abuser went on to abuse and hurt so many other children. Mental health experts repeatedly report that victims of childhood sexual abuse, most often, take many, many years, if ever, before they recognize or even acknowledge the fact they were abused. How is it anyone could consider eight short years as “reasonable” for one who was abused as a child? The burden of proof is always on the victim, not the accused, when memories fade, documents lost and witnesses die. More disappointing is the fact that Virginia recognizes that the sexual molestation of a child is so serious an offense that it saw fit to eliminate the statute of limitations for such crimes. Yet in civil cases it believes it must limit the time a victim can recover for the lifelong injuries sustained by those criminal actions? This is a total contradiction. In a criminal matter the burden of proof is “beyond a reasonable doubt,” yet civilly it is a lower standard: “a preponderance of the evidence.” How is it that a Virginian resident could have her/his molester put in jail but yet be unable to receive reparation for the crimes the predator committed because of an arbitrary time limit? That is simply an injustice, which some lawmakers wish to legislate. It’s not too late. Virginia legislators should be seeking to lead the path of justice, not simply follow other states, as suggested by the Catholic Conference. Times have changed, and we know better now. Heed the words of your fellow Virginian and one of our nations Founding Fathers, Thomas Jefferson, who once said: “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times” These are words of wisdom Virginia legislators need to act on. Restore justice and eliminate the statute of limitations on lawsuits for sexual assault committed against children. Taking such action is the only thing lawmakers should see as “reasonable.” Mark Crawford, a survivor of clergy sexual abuse is the New Jersey State director of Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (www.snapNetwork.org) and has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” to discuss abuse, among other advocacy activities.
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