BishopAccountability.org
	Making the Best of It Midwest Conservative Journal November 17, 2010 http://themcj.com/?p=16418 A while back, the Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania, meeting in convention, passed a resolution urging embattled Bishop Charles Bennison not to let the door hit him in the ass on his way out. The resolution stated that Bennison "does not have the trust of the people and clergy of the Diocese of Pennsylvania to continue to serve as their bishop." Unfortunately, there are slices of bacon with more self-awareness than Chuckles has so Pennsylvania's stuck with the douchebag for six more years or so. Which got me to thinking. While Pennsylvania might not be able to get rid of the guy, how can Keystone Episcopalians at least amuse themselves at his expense? I've come up with a few ideas: (1) At the cathedral some Sunday, as a gesture of "reconciliation," have Chuck go through the ceremony of consecration again. Then when he does that stand-outside-and-knock-on-the-door-with-his-crozier bit, refuse to open the door, call the Philly police and tell them there's this weirdo outside dressed up as a bishop disturbing the service. (2) New fun activity. At every episcopal visitation, the first person to knock the miter of Chuck's head with a golf ball wins all the cash in the collection plate. And if anyone's throw happens to hit home a little bit south of the equator if you know what I mean and I think you do, no harm, no foul. (3) Turn Chuck's sermons into drinking games. They don't have to have actual rules. Just shout, "Down a shot!" now and then. (4) Tell Bennison that it's a parish tradition for the bishop to sweep up after the service. Then honor him with a shredded-church-bulletin parade. (5) When Chuckles visits a really high-church Anglican parish and it comes time for him to cense the altar, tell him your thurible was stolen so he'll have to hold the burning incense in his bare hands. What are some of your ideas for what the Pennsylvanians should do with or about Chuckles? Keep 'em clean. If one of them amuses me, you'll win the coveted Really High Praise From Me. If one of them really amuses me, I might be talked out of a coffee mug. But the bar's gotten pretty high on those things.
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