BishopAccountability.org
	Oprah Did What Church People Won't By Dr. Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality November 8, 2010 http://www.jaimeromo.com/blog/archives/318 I was there in the studio, five rows back, next to the camera facing Oprah. I had a non-talking role, standing among the 200 men, holding childhood pictures chest high. My photo was a bit yellowed, which must mean I was a golden child. Oprah says that this is one of the most important shows she has done in the past 25 years. In the context of all the resistance by church leaders and blind followers, it may be one of the most significant shows for the country because she did what church people won't. She made it clear what sexual abuse is for men, for women, who are violated by family members and clergy. By the way, the parallels of betrayal and damage between incest and Religious Authority Sexual Abuse are profound and sexual abuse of males is more common than many would like to believe. People talked about abusers luring them with candy and grooming them, and sodomizing them and having them commit oral sex, being urinated on, having objects inserted into them as part of the testing and grooming before inviting other priests in to rape children. There is nothing sanitized about child rape in the lives of victims. So, when church officials have called it 'boundary crossings' or 'improprieties' or any other whitewashed name, it was a lie. Oprah provided an opportunity for people to speak about their experiences without being edited or minimized, questioned or rejected. This is another way that she did what church folks won't. The tone wasn't my favorite. I am certainly not in a place of recycling or reliving the details of grooming and abuse for others' entertainment or education. My focus in the past few years has been about coming back from the dead and living and helping others to come back from the dead. That's a bit contentious among some survivors. Being fully alive is something that may be unfamiliar for non-abused people, non survivors, but who live in the 'rat race' or 'dog eat dog' world that is abusive and exploits people and treats people like objects, albeit without inflicting sexual abuse on them. The focus of the show was entry level in this conversation: letting people speak who hadn't spoken before. It was on opening doors and beginning a conversation that needs to continue so that being able to name and treat sexual abuse of any kind is as shared and unapologetic as the efforts to treat breast cancer—and that was once a taboo topic that carried shame in the very mentioning of it. So Oprah showed the reality that there are a lot of broken hearts and lost childhoods and adulthoods. She has made a space in our social and collective discourse that we may not and will not abandon or let close. This is something else that church folks haven't done, despite legal settlements to avoid these explicit public conversations about horrific, criminal, heinous, despicable acts. Church attorneys have fought for years to keep from turning over documents, which are for the most part edited and purged. Look at the recent San Diego files. In just a few samples, you'll see what I mean. Doxie's file has nothing but good things said about him, and then one page shows his transfer record every few months with no explanation, no context, no letters from parents. Galindo's file has lots of praise, but then notes about financial misdeeds (putting elderly parishioner's home in his name, buying gifts for another who he abused with church money); another with notes from the bishop recommending him to get out of the country because the police were taking an active interest in his actions. See the video to hear testimony about Fr. Galindo (Open Secret, part 1). Fr. Benson, who is currently active in ministry in Ensenada, Baja California, was encouraged to get out of the country. This is consistent with the protection of pedophile priest protection practices, revealed in Open Secret, part 2. View part 3 to hear the case of Fr. Tony Rodrigue, who admitted to abuse 5 to 6 children a year for 22 years. Neither of these discussions are new to me or are what I prefer, but they are probably the kind of discussion that lots of people need to hear. Maybe my topic will be in a future show: how to move forward; what works after a person has come to acknowledge her abuse; how to channel life experiences into meaningful, productive, freed vitality. Those need to be discussions for everyone, particularly survivors, and not just those who attend Tony Robbins workshops. Vitality is for everyone who has experienced profound trauma, which infects a person's psyche and spirit and causes, for many, death. So thank you, Oprah, for using your capital, social and monetary, your reputation and resources to expose abuse and protect kids. Thank you, to whoever promotes these horrible conversations that can promote healing, because silence is toxic and isolation kills, when it comes to Religious Authority Sexual Abuse and other sexual abuse. Jaime Romo, Ed.D. , is the author of "Healing the Sexually Abused Heart: A Workbook for Survivors, Thrivers, and Supporters" and "Parents Preventing Abuse"
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