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	A Healing Hand By Jeffrey Sheban Columbus Dispatch November 4, 2010 http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/life/stories/2010/11/04/a-healing-hand.html A central Ohio psychologist and expert on male sexual abuse will be featured in back-to-back Friday episodes of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Howard R. Fradkin, founder in 1982 of the psychotherapy practice Affirmations, joins Winfrey and filmmaker/actor Tyler Perry, who recently revealed the physical and sexual abuse he suffered as a boy. The segments, to air Friday and Nov. 12, also encompass the stories of 200 male survivors who were flown to Chicago to serve as a studio audience and to share their experiences. Many have struggled to lead healthy, balanced lives as adults. Winfrey made headlines 24 years ago when she acknowledged being sexually abused as a child. "I'm more proud of these two shows than almost anything else I've done in my career," the talk-show host said in a statement. Fradkin, 58, took some time after taping the segments to talk to The Dispatch. Q: How prevalent a problem is male sexual abuse? A: We know from statistics that one in every six men is sexually abused before the age of 18, which means this is a significant national problem. If you include noncontact forms of abuse, such as a person exposing himself or herself to a child, the statistics are one in four. Q: Those are very big numbers. A: Yeah, much higher than most people realize. Q: Tell us about your private practice in Columbus and the workshops you lead across the country. A: Affirmations: A Center for Psychotherapy and Growth is a multidisciplinary practice with psychologists, social workers, marriage and family counselors and chemical-dependency counselors. We specialize in working with male and female trauma survivors. I've been leading MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery in the U.S. and Canada since 2001. They're designed to be an experiential weekend where men feel safe enough to tell the story of their abuse, reduce their shame and discover they can join with other men to heal themselves and each other. Q: How did you end up on Oprah? A: Oprah's staff researched the people in the field and chose to invite me because of my extensive work in the trenches. Q: What's it like sharing a stage with the most powerful woman in broadcasting? A: I felt tremendously honored, thrilled, affirmed and grateful. Q: Were you nervous? A: I was the most calm I've ever been in my entire career. I attribute that calm to Oprah, Tyler, all the men in the audience (whom) I knew personally through the weekends, and to all the people in my life who love me. And to all the progress I've made in my own recovery from sexual abuse. Q: What are some of the myths associated with male sexual abuse? A: The biggest myth is that boys and men can't be victims, because men in our society are always supposed to be in control and powerful. Another myth is that men who are abused will go on to perpetrate abuse upon others. Also, that only men can abuse men or boys, when, in fact, males and females are capable of perpetrating. And that most sexual abuse is perpetrated by gay men, when, in fact, the vast majority of pedophiles are heterosexual. Q: Can abuse of children result in confusion over their sexual identities as adults? A: Yes, absolutely. Abuse in and of itself does not determine one's sexual orientation. However, when boys are abused, they can become very confused about their sexual orientation and experience problems with sexual functioning and sexual arousal. Q: In the Oprah segment airing Friday, a number of audience members share their stories. Are there common themes you hear from survivors? A: One is that boys and men who are sexually abused are oftentimes severely traumatized for a very long time. The aftermath of abuse results in many common symptoms, including depression, anxiety, engaging in addictions, difficulty with intimacy and increased risk of suicide. Q: It was big news when Winfrey said in 1986 that she was a childhood victim of sexual abuse. Perry revealed in great detail the extent of his abuse. What is the effect of these celebrity revelations? A: I greatly honor the courage that Oprah and Tyler demonstrated by their willingness to be so public about their abuse. It gives male and female survivors across the planet tremendous permission to speak their truths. As African-Americans, it affords people of color very important permission to violate cultural taboos about speaking these important truths. Q: The second segment, which will air next week, includes wives, partners and girlfriends of abuse survivors. What issues are they dealing with? A: The biggest challenge for partners is overcoming the blocks to intimacy that survivors create to protect themselves from feared harm. It can be difficult for abuse survivors to combine sex and love, and, as a result, healthy sexual intimacy is a major challenge for many couples. Q: Is therapy effective, or do the scars last a lifetime? A: Therapy is absolutely effective for many survivors, provided that the therapist is trained to work with male survivors. Other forms of help can be equally useful, including self-defense training and peer-group support. I want all survivors to know that healing is absolutely possible and achievable. Contact: jsheban@dispatch.com
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