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	Abuse Survivors Hurt by Words By Erica Bajer Daily News October 30, 2010 http://www.chathamdailynews.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2823965 Cruel words and dirty looks continue to tear open the emotional wounds Lou Ann Soontiens suffered as a result of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of Father Charles Sylvestre. In the years since she first spoke out about the molestation, rape and forced abortion the pedophile priest inflicted on her, she's been repeatedly wounded by words. Soontiens said she's been the target of nasty looks, snide comments and misplaced blame. "Coming forward was hard enough, we don't need the backlash," she said, noting she's heard similar stories from other survivors. "We were victims, people shouldn't shun us." Sylvestre, who pleaded guilty in 2006 to abusing 47 girls, died three months into his three-year prison sentence. Soontiens said one of her neighbours calls her names such as "trash" and has angrily confronted her about taking money from the church. Last year, she received one of Canada's largest monetary settlements -- $1.75 million -- from the Roman Catholic Diocese of London. She would give it all back in return for her stolen innocence. "No amount of money is going to take away what happened to us," she said. "They are calling us names and they don't know what we went through. We're not money-grabbing bitches." Soontiens said people don't understand the majority of money used for settlements doesn't come from the collection plate. Insurance companies are heavily involved in the litigation and bear most of the financial brunt, she said. She pointed out that she didn't come forward and disclose the abuse she suffered -- she was contacted by investigators when another abuse victim reported the crimes. Joanne Sullivan, another woman abused by Sylvestre, said few people in her community know she was part of the case. The Blenheim woman hasn't been called names or ridiculed. But she has been hurt by insensitive remarks. Sullivan said some people who know she's in the midst of suing the diocese make rude comments about her future financial security. "It's only a small number at work," she added. Sullivan echoed Soontiens comments, noting "I'd rather not have (the abuse) happen to me. "I'm not looking for a payday. It's not like winning the lottery." The price abuse victims have paid is far higher than any monetary compensation, she said. Mark Adkinson, director of communications with the diocese, said it's unfortunate that abuse victims face backlash in the community. "These people are victims and they have a right to compensation," he said. Parishioners shouldn't blame the victims. "They should express sorrow that abuse occurred," he said, adding the victims should be offered prayers of healing. Sylvestre and the diocese have accepted responsibility for the abuse, he said. "He admitted he was guilty and we admitted he was at fault and the diocese was at fault," Adkinson said. He stressed the diocese works hard to ensure victims are given "fair and reasonable compensation." The diocese only foots the bill for compensation above what it's insured for, he said. So far, the diocese has settled with 65 women abused by Sylvestre during three decades when he worked at parishes in Chatham, Pain Court, Windsor, Sarnia and London. Adkinson said there's approximately a dozen outstanding claims left to negotiate. Rob Talach, of Ledroit Beckett Litigation Lawyers in London, worked on Soontiens civil case. He was outraged to hear she is facing backlash. "Lou Ann did nothing wrong, she was a child," he said. "How do you put a price tag on the brutal sexual crimes she suffered?" He said people who call her names and judge her for speaking out are accessories after the fact. "The people who frown on her now are the type of people who allowed it to happen in the first place," he said. "People knew, suspected and turned a blind eye. The church protected and enabled Sylvestre for more than 30 years." Talach said he's heard from other victims who have also been upset by comments. He recalled one woman who overheard her co-workers making disparaging remarks about Sylvestre's accusers over coffee in the break room. They didn't know that as a girl she was preyed upon by the pedophile priest. "There's no more of an evil act by a bystander than that behaviour," he said. "It's offensive on all levels and it's dangerous." Talach said the mentality of those who blame victims for coming forward does nothing but keep people silent and perpetuate abuse. Sullivan said it was a difficult decision to speak publicly about what she went through as a little girl. But, she believes victims should speak up in order to raise awareness. "People need to be able to put faces and names to the issue," she said. Talach and Adkinson said coming forward is courageous and it's important that society encourages victims to disclose abuse. "People should not feel any pressure to not come forward," Adkinson said, adding he hopes the experiences of some of Sylvestre's victims doesn't deter others from reaching out and speaking up. Irene Deschenes, who played a key role in bringing Sylvestre to justice by continuing to speak out about the abuse, said she's never been verbally harassed. However, she's been hurt by naive comments made by people who don't understand the issue. "Often, they don't intend to be thoughtless," she said. "It's an opportunity for me to increase awareness and educate." Deschenes was the first of Sylvestre's victims to lift the publication ban from her name so the community would know who she was. More than a dozen other women involved in the case also unbanned their names. "I was keeping someone else's secret," Deschenes said. "I have no shame or guilt." Michelle Schryer, executive director of the Chatham-Kent Sexual Assault Crisis Centre, wasn't surprised to hear Soontiens is experiencing backlash. "From the beginning of time, sexual assault victims have been blamed for their own victimization," she said. "Whenever anyone speaks out publicly, there will be criticism and ridicule and personal attacks. "Not everyone supports survivors." However, she pointed out the Sylvestre case educated a lot of people in this community about abuse and the toll of sexual violence. "A lot of the initial disbelief was put to rest," she said. "A lot of people in our community got it." Soontiens said she doesn't regret sharing her story with the community. She said if she can help one person, it's worth it. "I don't want this to happen to anybody else," she said. ebajer@chathamdailynews.ca
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