BishopAccountability.org
	Who Is Really Responsible? By Dr. Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality September 27, 2010 http://www.jaimeromo.com/blog/ I saw the CNN show, "What the Pope Knew." It makes me think about the expression, 'the reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.' We are responsible for our lives, our happiness. Being responsible means living with the ability to respond, the ability to adjust, the ability to adapt. It means that we have at least a basic understanding of the context in which we live, and that we have thought about how we would like to move forward. It seems that the pope or others who protect religious institutions or images more than children, are, as one discussant of the CNN program said, are both part of the problem and the solution. It seems that Religious Authority Sexual Abuse survivors offer examples of being the solution. For religious authority sexual abuse survivor-thrivers, being responsible means that we will no longer be victims and we cannot deny our past abuse. For survivor supporters, it may mean that we will no longer pretend that the healing or problems related to widespread religious authority sexual abuse is finished. For all of us, it might mean recognizing and doing something more constructive with our rage related to betrayal and abuse of power. But when survivors and supporters stop pretending that the abuse is a thing of the past and take an active part in addressing the abuse, in the context of denial, then we too often see casualties. I read an article about attorneys for victims of clergy abuse and the costs to their personal, emotional, and spiritual lives that relate to being so closely involved with bringing these cases forward, cases that would not be heard by allegedly responsible church leaders. Despite the few years that have passed since the LA settlement, the LA Weekly reports that the diocese appears to continue with damage control behavior or be remiss by not posting the names of abusing clergy. So, in an environment of denial, there are casualties to survivor and those who support them, who allow themselves to see the abusive and irresponsible behavior of church leaders. For many survivors who have experienced Soul Death related to Religious Duress, the rebuilding process is profound—besides dealing with the intellectual/ psychological impact of PTSD, there's a loss/ voice at a person's core that is often filled by addition or other self destructive behavior. This is supported by Vincent Felitti's groundbreaking Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study and by a recent article by Jack Lavino on "Fathers, attachment, and addiction" That's why I so appreciate seeing survivors evolve through the process of bringing their voice and experience forward, regardless of the outcomes with church leaders. I'm honored to know people who have used their experiences to begin their own advocacy organizations: Barbara Blaine began SNAP; Vicki Polin began The Awareness Center (by the way, vote for her today); Elaine Kroll started The Innocence Mission; Christa Brown began Stop Baptist Predators; Fr. Robert Hoatson began Road to Recovery; Paul Fericano started SafeNet (related to Franciscans), Ray Higgins began a therapy trust for survivors of clergy abuse; Colm O'Gorman established 1 in 4 in Ireland; Eric Barragan helped get national legislation related to sexual abuse in Mexico; I even became a Commissioned Minister status for Healing and Healthy Environments. Other groups that deal with domestic violence and sexual abuse: Sharon Ellis Davis began God Can Ministries, Yvonne, de Vaughn began Advocacy for Victims of Abuse in Evangelical Covenant Churches; Steve LePore started 1 in 6; Male Survivor continued to offer retreats; and now a coalition is developing called the National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence. These are some of my heroes and inspiration and colleagues. I don't see competition among us. That's too often the case among any activists/ advocates. We can get lost in our own survival or getting established (i.e., survivor activist behavior); survivor-thriver activists or thriver activists have found healing through their profound woundedness and collaborate with others to promote healing and end abuse. There are, no doubt, many Fr. Lawrence Murphy stories, whether or not they lead directly to Pope Benedict. And because of survivors and survivor supporters (not apologists for the image of the church or cheerleaders for policy), victims of RASA are supported and can find healing. So, take care of you, survivor supporters. That's necessary to do this work and not become a casualty. Jaime Romo is the author of "Parents Preventing Abuse." Click here to learn more.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.