Celibacy Debate Suggests Clergy Fail to Understand Relationships, Inspire Magazine, September 21, 2010

Celibacy Debate Suggests Clergy Fail to Understand Relationships

Inspire Magazine
September 21, 2010

http://www.inspiremagazine.org.uk/news.aspx?action=view&id=4805

Professional clergy fail to relate to the sexual and relational needs of ordinary people on a daily basis.

"They just don't get it," said Jackie Elton, whose online dating agency Christian Connection co-sponsored a major London debate recently on compulsory celibacy in the Roman Catholic Church. The event coincided with Pope Benedict XVI's visit to the UK.

Jackie, founder of Christian Connection, said: "Many of those attending came to the same conclusion. Clergy contributing to the debate to defend celibacy were reluctant to admit to any personal conflicts. Disappointingly, they sought, with limited success, to explain and justify the status quo in the Catholic church with reference to obscure texts and traditions. At the same time they dismissed profound difficulties caused to priests and laity."

An all-Catholic line-up featured a combination of four priests, including the Catholic Bishop of Nottingham, human rights lawyer Dame Helena Kennedy, film director John Deery and comedian Frank Skinner (left). In the chair was Ernie Rea, former head of Religion and Ethics at the BBC. The debate was preceded by Deery's dramatic film – Conspiracy of Silence – about Catholic priests conflicted between their sexuality and beliefs.

"Thousands of people from all denominations join Christian Connection looking for significant relationships and community," said Jackie. "They are single, divorced or widowed. Many struggle to reconcile the call of faith and theological teaching with modern attitudes to relationships, sex and marriage. They are full of questions they rarely get a chance to ask. Decent answers are even rarer."

Some members of the audience had their say following contributions from the main speakers. These included a former Catholic priest who was HIV positive, a retired senior police officer with experience of child abuse cases and others who stressed the need for a better understanding of human nature.

"As is often the case, their stories carried more emotional impact than the speeches of professionals on the podium," said Jackie. "Members of Christian Connection and many others are caught in the crossfire of competing positions. On the one side is a powerful media treating sex with several partners as a recreational activity. On the other are the strongly prescriptive and restrictive attitudes of many church leaders. Not surprisingly, many find it very hard to reconcile a need for human relationships with their faith."

One Catholic mother-of-three at the debate rejoiced in her family and praised the support of her Catholic church.

"Good for her," said Jackie, "but how many single or divorced people could honestly say they had received similar support and affirmation? Our own member polls indicate quite the opposite."