BishopAccountability.org
	Why Is the Church Is Stonewalling about Abuse? By Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality May 25, 2010 http://www.jaimeromo.com/blog/ It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events by which the path to success may be recognized I Ching What are you hiding? When will you face the truth? What will be possible when you do? These are questions from the 'Shadow Effect.' They are questions that seem related to the prevalence of religious authority sexual abuse and the ongoing cover up or stonewalling of so many church leaders related to abuse. I got, as part of advertising, in the mail today, a full page of faces under a big title that read, HAVE YOU SEEN ME? in large red letters. Some of the photos had been age progressed several years, some for 15- 20 years. It seems to me that a major reason that the church is stonewalling is that there are so many missing people, missing souls, damaged, traumatized people as a result of first betrayal (abuse) and now the ongoing second betrayal that feels like denial, that sounds like blaming victims, and looks like legal battles to bury documents that have been promised through legal settlements. There are a lot of bodies in the closet. That is part of the problem. That is the what. I imagine that there is tremendous shame that surrounds the behaviors of leaders who have promoted others or allowed others who have been found guilty or charged with abuse to serve in office. There must be a tremendous amount of shame for past behaviors—that people today who wish to hold onto the illusion that the church is 'better than that' or more pure than secular society—desperately deny. How could religious authorities possibly act in such horrible ways? That is the how. I also received the same mail packet a seminary newsletter, where I studied to be a priest some 25 years ago. The newsletter announced the welcoming of Archbishop Jose Gomez, who will follow Cardinal Mahony when he retires. This is a person who many have critiqued for mis-handling or not handling clergy abuse under his own watch. This is more of the how. Why is church stonewalling? Denial. Shame. This speaks badly about an organization that is fundamentally about being free from fear and material trappings or attachments, whether they be image or what people perceive as financial loss. All in all, denial and shame result in a lit fuse that is moving closer to the powder keg of sealed documents. Instead of opening or diffusing the concentration of toxic and potent information that will, no doubt, undermine whatever credibility is left from church leaders, lawyers and church leaders continue to argue the technicalities of the fuse. I am participating in a local morning talk show, Wednesday, May 26. I will be talking about tips for parents to keep their kids safe from abuse. It strikes me that there are things that parents can do to protect their kids: monitoring where kids go; asking questions about who they're with and how they played. Those may be easier steps because they explore other people's behavior or other people's boundaries. More difficult steps for parents are: parent without being shaming, so that kids will tell you about experiences they have had or mistakes they have made; speak frankly with their kids about the kids' sexuality, so that kids will develop healthy sexual boundaries. Parents need to be involved in these awkward or what may feel like shameful conversations. It is probably easier for church members and leaders to pretend that screening other people's behaviors or setting policies are sufficient, rather than looking at their own incapacity or incompetency when it comes to dealing with their own sexual history and history of managing and intervening with past abuse, and breaking the silence or secrecy that has perpetuated abuse. Why do you think religious authority sexual abuse is so prevalent? What are the reasons the church is stonewalling or in denial about abuse? I'd like to know.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.