Pastor, Prosecutor and Politician, by Tammy Gwaltney, Southeast Missourian, May 25, 2010

Pastor, Prosecutor and Politician

By Tammy Gwaltney
Southeast Missourian
May 25, 2010

http://www.semissourian.com/blogs/gwaltney/entry/34873/

What could these three people have in common? Many things I suppose but on May 12, 2010 the thing they had in common was that they were all mentioned in the St. Louis Post Dispatch. Most notably, they were all mentioned in stories related to issues of sexual violence. Let me be clear, the politician, Senator Matt Bartle is the only one of the three trying in vain to curb sexual violence and sexual exploitation by regulating the adult entertainment industry...and finally was somewhat successful this legislative session. The prosecutor, rather former prosecutor, and the pastor were in the news for their inappropriate sexual behavior with children.

Tammy Gwaltney

For many these stories still come as a surprise. Folks are outraged that our friends in "high places" engage in heinous acts against children or that they view, collect or distribute child pornography etc, etc. I guess I am well beyond the "shock" factor of this crime. I don't adhere to the delusional belief that certain people "just wouldn't do that". You can fill in the blank yourself on what "that" entails.

Offenders, as I have said so many times, abuse children they KNOW AND HAVE ACCESS TO. Let me repeat, they abuse children they KNOW AND HAVE ACCESS TO. Pastors, prosecutors, parents, family members, teachers, babysitters, coaches, classmates, and any and everyone else is someone who can potentially abuse your children. It seems overwhelming to think about child abuse in those terms and thus seems to paralyze people in their efforts to watch over children. How do you possibly monitor EVERYONE in your child's life without becoming paranoid or handcuffing your child to you until they turn 21?

Easy, know the facts.

Know that people who have access to your child are most likely to abuse them.

Know that if your child tells you that someone touched them or acted inappropriately toward them, or someone makes them feel uncomfortable ...BELIEVE THEM.

Know that your child won't know what to do if someone perpetrates on them, unless you tell them what to do.

Know that if you don't know what to tell your child in order to protect them, call us and we will help you do that.

Know it is never too early to talk to your child about what someone can or cannot do to their body.

Know that perpetrators are counting on you to stay silent on this subject, because if your child doesn't know what to do, then they will be able to keep them quiet.

Because I am beyond the shock factor of this crime doesn't mean I don't remain disappointed in people's behavior especially those in whom we have placed tremendous trust...AKA community leaders. But perhaps herein lies the problem. When we give BLIND trust to those around us then we aren't willing to SEE clearly when that trust has been violated. Open your eyes, keep them opened and never look through rose colored glasses when it comes to your child's safety.

If you take time to keep them safe in car seats, knee pads, and helmets for their physical protection, then give them tools to stay safe for their sexual protection as well.