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	Yadon: a Tale of Forgiveness - and Release Idaho Statesman May 17, 2010 http://www.idahostatesman.com/2010/05/15/1193227/a-tale-of-forgiveness-and-release.html I was a little surprised when she arrived for her appointment. I did not expect to see a well-dressed lady in her 50s with a confident bearing. Although she was not a member of our church in Austin, Texas, she had called for an appointment because of the recommendation of a mutual friend. I had no idea what she wanted to discuss, but it did not take long to find out. Raised in a pastor's home as a child, she had climbed the corporate ladder to an executive position in one of the large corporations in Austin. When I asked for the nature of her visit, she sat silently for some time. I politely waited. She began slowly and deliberately telling me of her pain at attending the funeral of her 85-year-old father. She recounted how she huddled with her three sisters around her father's casket, trying to maintain a mask of respect and sorrow. Suddenly the composed executive exploded into a wailing, screaming woman whose cries were incoherent. Her makeup became a purplish-gray river flowing down her face. I passed the Kleenexes while she screamed. Finally, the story unfolded. The funeral of her father brought the family secret to the surface. She and her sisters could no longer bear the pressure of his sexual abuse when they were teenagers. Because he was a pastor and their father, the girls felt helpless to tell anyone of what he was doing to them. They certainly did not want to tell their mother, for their father had threatened them if they did. Trapped in this personal violation, betrayed by the man they should have trusted the most, these sisters huddled in this emotional dungeon as prisoners of their father. Thinking the passage of time might heal their violation, this lady and her sisters tried to ignore the pain of humiliation, but the hatred for men it spawned only festered through the years. In spite of financial success each of the sisters enjoyed, they were all involved in broken relationships in multiple marriages. This lady confessed that the hatred toward her father had been transferred to every man in her life, including her husbands, sons and grandsons. She cried out that she despised men, and the funeral of her father brought this loathing to the surface. His abuse had fostered abuse in her. She, the abused, had evolved into the abuser of others. She hated what she had become. Surprised that she would confess such abhorrence to a man, a minister, and stranger, I waited for the emotional pus of hatred to drain from her soul. I told her that she had taken the most wonderful first step toward healing. The secrecy had ended and her confession had opened the wound for cleansing (Proverbs 28:13). As ridiculous and painful as it seemed, her next step of healing was to apply the antibiotic of forgiveness. Even though it would be impossible to confront him, it was important for her to forgive her father. With deep, heaving sobs, she bowed her head and asked God to forgive her and give her the grace to forgive her father (Matthew 6:12,14-15). By releasing him from this emotional and spiritual debt, this lady was no longer his prisoner. At times her prayer was incoherent sobs, but finally I could hear the honest confession of her soul. In the sacred silence that followed, I waited. Finally, she raised her head and the smile that began to form spoke of the scriptural remedy working within. Wiping her face, she regained her executive posture and said she had some errands to run. First, she would buy some flowers and place them on her father's grave. Then she was determined to meet with each of her sisters and see if they would be willing to submit to the therapy of forgiveness. With the bearing of a business professional, she shook my hand and walked out of the office. Her makeup was smeared and my wastebasket was full of tissues, but her stride was that of a prisoner walking out of the prison her father had constructed for her. As she walked down the hall, I called behind her, "Now, go live, my sister!"
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