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	What’s a Safe Church? By Dr. Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality May 10, 2010 http://www.jaimeromo.com/blog/ “Dr. Romo, I was just reading your blog and came across the concept of Safe Church. I don’t know what it is, and I’m interested in hearing more about it. Do you have a minute to email me about this?” I received this note recently and it made me stop. Because I am so closely involved with helping to create safe Churches, I can forget that many people don’t have the experience, let alone the language or concept of Safe Church. I believe that this is the first step to creating Safe Chuches: understanding that churches are not automatically safe spaces. When that really sinks in, I believe that the second step is to imagine (not assume) that Safe Church is possible. However, imagining does not begin and end with a feeling. A scene from the film, “Dan in Real Life” is instructive in this discussion. The relationship expert author, Dan, is talking to his teenage daughter about her infatuation with her boyfriend. He tells her that she doesn’t really understand love. The would be boyfriend then offers the line, ‘Love isn’t a feeling. It’s an ability.’ Love isn’t a feeling; it’s an ability. Safe Church isn’t a feeling. It’s an ability nurtured in community, expanded with education, and guided by shared values and accountability. Does that describe your religious group? Some of the basic aspects of a Safe Church are: a meaningful Safe Church Policy; and a competent Response Team. Some churches create a Safe Church policy in reaction to crisis, when some disclosure about misconduct or abuse had taken place in the community. For others, it is like a secret document. Too often, church leaders have operated under the illusion that a well crafted policy will result in Safe Church practices. A Safe Church Policy is not magical. Nor is it primarily a ‘risk management’ decoration (i.e., something to have because insurance companies require it for coverage). A meaningful Safe Church Policy describes what appropriate behaviors of members, volunteers, and employees are in that context. It delineates procedures for responding to complaints or concerns related to sexual abuse, harassment, and intimidation. It discusses dealing with special populations: sex offenders, children, youth and clergy. It outlines terms for participation or resolution for those who are brought under review. It is known and understood as a basic set of guidelines for and by the learning community or community of practice (emphasis on community). It is created through a thoughtful, inclusive process by the members of the community. The Response Team is different from the governing body of this religious group. It is authorized by them to work as a kind of immune system for the larger body. It is authorized to receive information, seek information and decide on concerns re: members or behaviors related to boundary crossings or inappropriate use of authority or roles. In its investigation, the Response Team may gather data from experts to help it make determinations about the kind of access that individuals have to that community. And it reports to the membership regularly about its activity. I am pleased to have participated in a Catholic Parish’s first ‘Safe Church Sunday’ celebration two Sundays ago in Portland, Oregon, and a UCC church’s second annual ‘Safe Church Sunday’ this past weekend in Carlsbad, California. I can say that both churches show evidence that they have an ability to be a Safe Church: they have a meaningful policy that involved many members to create; they have a functional Response Teams and education programs. I spoke to these churches and shared that I am glad that they are not as interested in compliance or ‘risk management’ as they are in being healing communities. Safe Church policy and practices are necessary, and insufficient to be a healing community. They strive to help people: * feel safe to be open and honest, to admit mistakes, or not know and need to find out. * feel accepted, experience courtesy and being listened to, as if their dignity is important. * get clear cut and non contradictory rules and guidance about their tasks, so that they know what is expected. * experience the congruence between the mission statement and the behavior of leaders and managers. * experience being treated fairly and justly and feel that the environment is a rational universe they can trust. When that happens, people are more than safe. People with old wounds can bring them forward to be redeemed, their burdens lightened, their souls restored. That’s a healing community, and one likely to be founded on Safe Church policies and practices. And, looking at these five simple descriptors above, I can’t help but come back to the e-mail that I received asking about this concept of Safe Church. And I wonder how many church or temple or mosque goers experience them. Dr. Jaime Romo is the author of “Healing the Sexually Abused Heart: A Workbook for Survivors, Thrivers, and Supporters.” Read a review by Fr. Tom Doyle and excerpts of the workbook.
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