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	Survivors Speak in Catholic Church By Virginia Jones The Garden of Roses April 21, 2010 http://web.me.com/virginiajones/Compsassionate_Gathering/The_Garden_of_Roses/Entries/2010/4/20_Survivors_Speak_in_Catholic_Church.html Are you tired of Catholics who accuse the news media of being anti-Catholic and who cancel their newspaper subscriptions because of articles and editorials about the abuse scandal? Do you never want another Catholic to advise you to forgive, forget and move on? Do you think I am deluded, that no such thing is possible? It is possible. It has actually happened before. Here is Oregon we have a organization, Compassionate Gathering, that actually trains Catholics to listen to survivors with compassion and support, and we have listened many times to stories of pain caused by clergy abuse. One survivor didn't know how the Catholics would receive her. Her story was filled with anger and pain over abuse and coverup of that abuse. After she shared her story with Compassionate Gathering, she confided, "It actually feels good to tell my story to intelligent Catholics. Every parish should have a group like this." Too often Catholics are wounded and confused and don't know what to say to survivors. Survivors bring up the most painful of issues -- the flaws in the same Church many parishioners find a great source of support. It takes faith to move mountains to cope with this divide. Apparently someone needs to trains us Catholics to be Christian. Two survivors are set to share their stories at a Compassionate Gathering is Dr. Jaime Romo speak at Ascension Catholic Church in Portland, Oregon, on May 1, from 2:30 to 4:30 PM. At first Jaime was going to speak alone, but he has progressed far enough along the journey to healing that he doesn't feel the need to be the focus of the event. He wanted other survivors have the experience of compassion and support. Jeannie Cratty a clergy abuse survivor from Massachusetts and former facilitator of a SNAP group has also agreed to share her story. Why is it necessary to to teach Catholics to listen compassionately? Because most people feel attacked when something near and dear to them is criticized. They react with what biologists call the "Lizard Brain," although my animal loving daughter would call that an insult to lizards. Criticism is like a verbal battering of our sense of well being, and our gut instinct is to protect ourselves or run away. Unfortunately when we Catholics treat survivors this way, we re-wound them and compound the pain caused by clergy abuse. The spiritual discipline of Compassionate Listening gives people the tools to listen and respond with our hearts. When people are listened to with compassion, as often as needed, as long as is needed, they begin to heal, they begin to open up, and they begin to be able to help others on the journey to healing. Compassionate Gathering teaches Compassionate Listening adapted to the Catholic Clergy abuse issue and as a relationship skill, but we learned the skill from The Compassionate Listening Project, which uses it as a peacemaking tool. Want to learn more? Contact: compassion500@gmail.com
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