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	Abuse Seeks an Audience Movie about Boyhood Rape Survivors Had Tough Time Being Seen at Victoria Festival By Michael D. Reid Times-Colonist February 23, 2010 http://www.timescolonist.com/news/Abuse+seeks+audience/2600976/story.html CANADA -- It's a disturbing subject many people would rather not hear or talk about -- childhood sexual abuse. So you can imagine the challenges Steve Rosen and Terri DeBono have had to face as they seek an audience for Boyhood Shadows: I Swore I'd Never Tell. The hour-long documentary, which made its Canadian première at the Victoria Film Festival, is a heart-wrenching portrait of male sexual abuse survivors on healing journeys. It details the devastating impact the actions of sexual predators have on not just those whose childhoods have been destroyed, but their families. The men's stories that have sparked a lifetime of shame, fear, pain, guilt and addiction issues are disturbing, yet Boyhood Shadows also contains a message of hope and empowerment. The Monterey, Calif., filmmakers hope it might prompt more sufferers to break their silence and encourage legislators to pass more stringent sexual abuse laws. But first they have to find the audience their film deserves, which is why they travelled to Victoria for another festival appearance on a circuit that includes stops in Houston, Wales, Ireland and Tiburon, Calif. Finding an audience here was such an uphill climb they decided to make a short film about it. Titled Boyhood Shadows: Looking for an Audience, their lighthearted eight-minute film chronicles the Murphy's Law-type misadventures that the veteran filmmakers somehow took in stride. It didn't help that Boyhood Shadows was programmed into the 9:45 p.m. Sunday time slot at the tail end of the festival's busy opening weekend. Or that it was paired with My American Exodus, the documentary of Jesse James Miller's rebellion against his parents' hippie lifestyle growing up in B.C. Assuming Boyhood Shadows would screen first, they were shocked to learn it would follow Miller's film and screen at 10:45. Their biggest disappointment was learning that Glenn Kulik, 49, the sexual abuse survivor whose fascinating story is the film's foundation, wouldn't be able to make it. "Because it was so disappointing that Glenn wasn't going to be there, we just made jokes about it in the film," DeBono recalled. "Steve came in one morning and said, 'I just did our first standup.' It really just began as a joke." The short features footage of downtown and the airport, a reference to the Times Colonist's festival coverage and "we just had to get shots of that wonderful hotel [Fairmont Empress]," said DeBono, a former high school drama teacher. It also captures the duo discussing Boyhood Shadows with students at Vic High. "We do that kind of thing all the time," DeBono said. "They really had some great ideas." DeBono was particularly struck by one student who discreetly approached her. "She was interested in how you talk to someone you think might have been abused," DeBono said. "She said 'You have to let them know they're not alone.' " The remark touched on the film's most crucial component -- the shame-induced silence that inspired the duo to make Boyhood Shadows. "I didn't tell anybody because I didn't want anyone to know," says Kulik, who was sexually molested by a childhood friend's uncle and numbed his pain with booze, drugs and sex on the streets for years before turning his life around. Other survivors whose histories are related in the film include Kim Allyn, a Santa Cruz deputy sheriff molested by a priest when he was an altar boy, CBS-TV anchorman Allen Martin, and Martin Moran, the New York author whose abuse by a camp counsellor inspired The Tricky Part, his book and one-man-show. Although several filmgoers left after My American Exodus, Rosen and DeBono did find an audience, with about 50 patrons sticking around for the Q&A. They would obviously like to see their film reach a "massive audience because it's a massive problem," but DeBono said they're gratified if it touches anyone, like the misty-eyed gentleman who approached her after the Victoria screening. "He put both of his hands around my hand, and I could see this was an emotional thing for him," she said. "He said, very softly, 'Thank you for making this film.' That's what makes this all worthwhile." On the web: macandava.com; youtube.com/watch?v=rebsTFq-tjs mreid@tc.canwest.com
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