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	An Interview with Rev. Dr. Sharon Ellis Davis By Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality December 31, 2009 http://jjromo.wordpress.com/ Dr. Sharon Ellis Davis is the co-founder and Senior Pastor of God Can Ministries, United Church of Christ. She serves as the Director of Programs for the Education and Family Life Institute for individuals and families who are impacted by underemployment and unemployment, gang violence, domestic violence, and are living in "at-risk," and underserved communities. She is a powerful example of a victim, turned survivor, thriver and advocate to end domestic and sexual abuse. http://www.godcanministries.org/ JR: Thank you for speaking with me. I know you as a fellow trainer with the Faith Trust Institute, which is dedicated to ending domestic abuse and clergy sexual abuse. What brought you to this work? SED: What brought me to this work of addressing sexual and domestic violence was my experience as a childhood victim of sexual violence/abuse and domestic violence as an adult. As a Christian and Police Officer I expected these two Institutions to support and care for me as well as confront my abuser. However, this did not happen. My work has its roots in assuring that these two important Institutions of trust, honor, and justice making, are equipped and challenged to provide the service, care, support and accountability structures to individuals, families, and communities impacted by sexual and domestic violence. This includes the abuser. JR: As a survivor of and specialist in domestic abuse, what do you see as the main things that victims must do to heal from domestic abuse? SED: Forgive! I believe forgiveness is the first step in healing from domestic abuse. Forgiveness is one thing the survivor can do for his or her self. Forgiveness is not something you do for the abuser. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness promotes spiritual, mental, and physical wellness and empowers survivors to call people and systems into accountability. Forgiveness is the mechanism needed to "let go" of the need for revenge, unhealthy anger, and the need to remain a "victim". JR: You are a veteran police officer, as well as an ordained minister of 31 years and 22 years respectively. Both institutions exist to protect the vulnerable, yet individuals of both have abused power and abused vulnerable individuals. How do you deal with abuse by officers? SED: Abuse is abuse regardless of what office a person holds. However, when a person has the responsibility to serve and protect and they abuse that office, they should be held accountable by that system. Individuals, families, and communities must demand and expect this type of accountability. JR: What do you think should happen to religious authorities who abuse their power/ roles and sexually abuse others? SED: Religious Institutions must have systems of accountability where pastors and other leaders will be challenged, censored, educated on issues of sexual and professional boundaries, and held to the standards of their profession. There are times when religious authorities should be moved from their positions and not allowed to serve as leaders again. JR: You have established a Domestic Violence ministry, helping individuals learn new skill and promoting healthy family environments. What are some of these skills or benchmarks in healthy families that prevent or address abuse that also apply to churches? SED: The skills and qualities needed for healthy relationships are rooted in mutual respect and accountability grounded in love and respect for people as human beings. Promoting educational opportunities so that people can obtain jobs to maintain families and their dignity. Finally, helping the church to provide quality Bible Classes and opportunities to learn and study scripture in ways that do not condemn or promote patriarchy JR: We once discussed the film, "Doubt." One part of the story dealt with an African American student who was suspected of being abused by a priest. The back story with the mother brings up some complexities regarding the family dynamics. What are some of the complexities regarding African Americans and clergy abuse that you have seen? SED: I did not see the film "Doubt." However, when addressing issues of abuse (sexual and/or domestic violence), this conversation must be in conversation, also, with understanding the impact that slavery, racism, and other oppressions had and continue to have on African American families and communities. JR: One of your favorite scriptures is "They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength." I don't imagine that you are saying to those who work to end all abuse to be passive. What would you say to victims and supporters working to expose clergy and other abuse and hold individuals and institutions accountable for abuse? SED: They that wait on the Lord….is one of my favorite passages because it offers a word of hope and renewal that I would be restored to even better greatness after being torn down, humiliated, and degraded. That happened! The scripture is my testimony that "a change will come." Sometimes we want things to happen right now. I learned that "time" can be my friend also. The word "wait" for me is not a passive word. Waiting requires action and determination. JR: I think you are an extraordinary leader and advocate for victims. I imagine that the toxic aspects of trauma and abuse that you encounter in your advocacy may seem pervasive in your work. How do you take care of yourself? What would you advise of other advocates about self care in their efforts to bring healing and change to clergy abuse? SED: Self-Care is the gasoline that fuels the advocate. Use premium, high grade, gasoline so that your engine will run well. It is impossible to care for others unless you charge to take care of yourself. Any other behavior would be classified, for me, as abuse. I don't intend to abuse myself. I love myself and value my relationship with self and others. My actions will prove that and so will yours. JR: What inspires you or encourages you in your ministry? SED: The Call to Justice and the Call to Love – Both of these challenge and encourage me in ministry. JR: Thank you for your time, example and commitment to promoting healing and ending abuse.
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