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	Leader Column: Sexing-Up Abuse Forth December 20, 2009 http://forth.ie/index.php/content/article/leader_column_sexing-up_abuse/20091220/#axzz0aKK8Nuy8 Ireland -- Unless we all grow up Ireland's grim obsession with sexual abuse is only going to get worse What a month it's been for moralisers: first the Catholic Church's never-ending tale of sexual abuse dominated the headlines then a tragic but politically insignificant sexual abuse trial was used as a scapegoat for preaching and now Sinn Féin president Gerry Adams says his father was a sexual predator. There is no other way of putting this: Ireland is officially in the middle of a moral panic about sexual abuse. It would be convenient to use this as another stick with which to beat the Catholic Church – but it would also be wrong. True, in the past Ireland has been a sexual backwater due to clerical influence – and one doesn't need to unearth clerical sex abuse to know that – but today's panic about the supposed 'dark side' of sexual desire is driven by an entirely different agenda. Despite its modernisation, the country still cannot cope with sex, preferring to obsess over extreme and outlying cases and, in the process, conflating normal sexual encounters with all manner of abuses. Even then, instead of concentrating on the relatively straightforward fact that crimes have been committed (which they have) and dealing with them, there is instead a disturbing obsession with victimology. Indeed, the twin motifs of the abuser and victim are at the centre of how many social issues are now viewed today. Instead of promoting rationalism and resilience, society is now directed from the top down by highly-charged emotionalised arguments. This in itself is nothing new – for instance, both Ireland's current president and her immediate predecessor were washed into office on waves of emotionalism – but recent months have seen the hysteria plumb new lows. If December 2009 alone is anything to go by, we are all in for a very rough year. The release of the Ryan and Murphy Reports into the sexual abuse of children by Catholic priests was followed by more than just the predictable wailing and gnashing of teeth. Amid the endless attacks on the Church virtually every commentator was at pains to paint an even darker picture of family life, saying 'most abuse happens at home'. According to these liberal fear-mongers there is no escape from potential abusers and so Something Must Be Done. Preferably by the state, of course, which will soon invite itself to break-up more families in the name of 'children's rights' when the proposed referendum comes to pass. (1) Ever on the lookout to prove itself 'relevant' to life today, the Catholic hierarchy was itself quick to jump on the victim bandwagon: Donal Murray, the Bishop of Limerick who was effectively forced to resign as a result of his failure to deal with allegations of sexual abuse in the Church, wallowed in his own (self-)perceived victimhood as he announced his resignation. Murray's sniveling was a truly pathetic act. Last week an undignified shouting match erupted in the press when people showed-up in court to 'express solidarity' with a man convicted of a sexual assault in Listowel, County Kerry.(2) This unfortunate, but politically meaningless, gesture was immediately telescoped into a battle over women's rights in Irish society. In fact it was no such thing. The fact that the perpetrator has friends and supporters is fairly banal, with or without the courtroom stunt, but making an issue of it masks the fact that he was convicted and sentenced for the crime. Speaking on Radio One's Marian Finucane show, Gavin Duffy actually said that young men must be educated so that they don't rape women: "My first reaction is one of a parent, you know, the responsibility we have to remind our sons that, you know, a moment's sexual gratification leaves a lifetime of horror with the victim."(2) This ridiculous sentiment that suggests young men don't have the moral capacity to know right from wrong even in extreme cases: Duffy was responding to the conviction of a fully-grown 34 year old man for a serious sexual assault, not a teenage boy accused of being overenthusiastic on a first date at the cinema. Unfortunately, this was not just a case of a business commentator being out of his depth; Duffy's sentiments accurately reflect feelings abroad in society. Despite the liberal patina, such views are profoundly insulting to women. According to the prevailing logic, women must be cajoled and coerced into sex. This not only paints men in the role of aggressors, it also casts women as fragile, pathetic and de-sexualised victims. Worse still, such an argument is not far off old-fashioned apologias for rape such as 'she was asking for it' – after all, it puts rape and sex together onto a continuum despite thirty years or more of both feminist and criminological arguments saying that rape is primarily an act of power, aggression and violence rather than of sex. Not in Ireland, it would seem. Here discussions about sexual violence are all about the sexual aspect and not the violence. A more twisted view of sex one couldn't get anywhere short of Andrea Dworkin – or Pope Benedict XVI, for that matter. Then there was the announcement that Liam Adams, the brother of Sinn Féin president Gerry Adams, is being sought for the alleged sexual abuse of his daughter Áine. Gerry Adams responded to this by not only announcing his support for his niece (as would be expected), but by revealing that his own late father was allegedly guilty of a litany of crimes including sexual abuse of thus far unspecified siblings. Whether or not Liam Adams will be listed as one of the alleged victims of his father remains to be seen, but it would certainly fit the common trope of 'the abused become the abusers', a pernicious idea that strips people of their autonomy and ability to overcome terrible events. In truth, Ireland has never had a healthy relationship with sex but one could be forgiven for thinking that escaping the yoke of Catholic moralising would lead to a more enlightened society. Sadly, it doesn't look like that is what is happening. Instead it appears that we have skipped directly from ancient conservative Catholic moralising to post-modern anxiety, one driven, ironically, by liberal prejudice about the dangers of sexual activity. Ireland's sex wars are set to run and run but the one thing we won't hear is the simple truth: most sexual activity is totally unrelated to the abnormalities we have heard of in recent months – sex may require two people but that doesn't mean one is an oppressor and the other a victim. We can do better than this. Those who are genuinely victims should be supported and encouraged to move on, to realise that their lives are important and that they are not condemned by things done to them, violent, sexual or of any other kind. The rest of us, meanwhile, should learn to shut up and stop whinging about our petty problems. Say it loud and say it proud: I'm nobody's victim.
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